Military Brides

Newbie introduction & request for advice


I am brand new to theknot and I wanted to introduce myself. I am Cate, and I'm marrying a wonderful man, who is a member of the Marine Corps. He got orders earlier than we expected (I am told to get used to that), and because of it, we are moving our wedding from January 2012 to July 2011. Theoretically, July 1 or July 2--we're touring reception venues next weekend.  We decided on July yesterday. 

I am at peace with the fact that everything will be simpler and less elaborate than I originally imagined, because we're working on a shorter time schedule. Marrying my fiance is my dream.

Because it is a holiday weekend, military chapels at the local posts will not perform weddings, so we need to find a Catholic church in the local community. I was expecting to have the full 6 months that the church requests for notice. Now, I am concerned that all the churches will be booked or we won't be able to find a priest willing to waive the 6 months notice. Do any of you ladies have advice? Know of wonderful churches in Arlington or Alexandria sympathetic to active duty military and compressed schedules? I appreciate anything you can tell me!

PS: I plan to cross post this on the Catholic board--please tell me if that is rude or not done. Thanks!

Re: Newbie introduction & request for advice

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    edited December 2011
    Welcome!! Marine Wife here.

    I would also suggest posting this on the local board for those areas.

    I think your best bet would be to contact the priest and explain your situation. I was raised Catholic and I can't imagine a priest not at least being sympathetic towards your situation, maybe if he can't help you, then he could recommend someone else. I know that the Church is really strict, but I'm sure that they could help you out. I know that direct contact is really your best option.

    Good Luck!!
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    edited December 2011
    We had a hard time finding pre cana that fit with our schedules and LDR. I ended up googling the Catholic Diocese in his area. Found one in a nearby larger city and they were able to set us up with their class. They didn't care that we were both from a different state, and they were extremely accommodating sending me a years worth of dates for me to pick. :) (one benefit for such a long engagement).

    Since the Diocese is made up of multiple churches that may be your best bet. :)

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    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much!! It's really reassuring to hear that a priest will probably help us out--you're right that direct contact is the best option. We already did our PreCana and marriage prep in the diocese where we live, so hopefully that will work for us.
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    Beachy730Beachy730 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are fine to cross post, most people just like for you to write "XP" in the title so they know.  NBD if not. 

    We were in a very similar situation.  We had planned on getting married this past New Year's Eve, then got orders that moved us to the other side of the country (WA from NY), so we realized it was easier to bump it up instead of the long travel.  Luckily we did because we found out soon after moving it up that he would have been deployed for NYE anyways.  

    We set our date in February for our July wedding.  Since we had already picked our venues, I just called them both and asked for a list of available Fridays and Saturdays in July and August, and then compared the 2 lists to find ones that would work.  We were left with a choice of 2 dates to pick from.  

    Unless money is the issue, I really don't think you will have to have any less elaborate of a wedding than before.  We planned our whole thing in about 5 months, and easily could have done it shorter.  We ended up having a Friday night wedding, and because of that we had a much easier time finding other vendors available.  Church and reception are the harder things, but there are a million photogs and DJs to pick from, so that's easier.  

    I haven't heard of churches needing 6 months notice before, but that could be because they want to make sure you aren't rushing.  If you explain the situation though I'm sure you'll find that many will be accommodating to you with your situation.  
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    edited December 2011

    I think most Catholic Churches want 6 months, so they can do Pre Cana and counseling. My Priest was extremely accommodating because he knew our situation. We we able to do Pre Cana out of state. He also allowed us to meet for pre marriage counseling and to take the compatibility test (took the test on day one then met again to go over the results and talk) on 2 visits instead of 3-4 visits. We planned those visits while he was home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was nice he was able to fit it in during the holidays.

    Personally, I had most if not all wedding details planned the first 6-9 months of our engagment. If you are organized it shouldn't be a problem.

    DNBEACH also has some great advice with picking dates, vendors.

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