Military Brides

Waiting for my brother to come back from Afghanistan

I just got engaged a week ago and am so excited!!  I was planning on a wedding sometime in the  early beginning of 2013.  That would have gave me and my fiancee time to save up for the wedding that we want.  My brother is in the army and will be sent back to Afghanistan sometime around Sept 2012.  He will be gone for about 9 months. I definitely want him to be there and would like to hold off until he gets back. Fiancially, it would be tough on us to do it before he goes.  Plus, he may go as early as July in 2012.  It means so much to me for him to be a part of our special day.  With these circumstances, it would put our engagement length to about 26 months.  Some people have said that seems a little long.  I don't see it that way if it means that it will be the wedding we want and my brother being there.  Am I wrong??

Re: Waiting for my brother to come back from Afghanistan

  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Congratulations on your engagement!

    I think there's no correct amount of time for a length of engagement.  You might go a bit stir-crazy waiting that long, but you have a very reasonable reason why you'd want to wait that long.  When I first got engaged in April, I figured 18 months would be a comfortable length of time... but even just 6 months into the engagement, I'm already chomping at the bit for our day to hurry up and get here!

    Be prepared, though, that what you think you know may change.  He might leave even earlier, later, might stay shorter or longer in the sandbox, or maybe he won't go at all!  So if that's the only reason to wait that long, be prepared that your reasons might go up in smoke and there's no guarantee your brother will be able to make it regardless of how you plan.

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  • ksrawrksrawr member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i don't normally post here.  But my brother was deployed in Afganistan when H and I got married.  It sucked I wish he could have been there but it just worked out that he wasn't.  If we waited to have everyone there it would have been awhile as both my brothers are Army (one active one reserves) and H is active Army. 

    That being said if it is really important to have your brother there then wait.  Would it make for a long engagement? Yes, but that isn't necessarily horrible because of the reason in my opinion.  If you decide to have your wedding while he is gone maybe you can do a cardboard cut out of him there (we thought about doing this just because we are a silly family) or maybe set-up a webcam if possible.  My brother was able to call the day of my wedding so we could talk.
  • edited December 2011
    You are right! I am doing the same thing. I am in school and working my FI is going to Flt school and his brother and father are both active and deploy as well. We just got engaged and his brother was deployed. We could have hurried it and possibly gotten him back but it was unlikely and that meant that we have to wait until the summer of 2013. we made that choice and tons of people ask why so long and some don't understand. It wasnt Ideal but it wouldnt have been right with us if his brother and father couldn't have been there with us. we both would have been upset and it didn't even occur to us to have it without them. Its a longer engagement, not what i was expecting, but it is what it is and we are happy with our choice. be happy with yours you are doing the right thing to want your brother home for the wedding :)

    It is possible for them to request a return for family events if they know far enough in advance. I would recommend getting him to talk to his commanding officer about options and such so that you don't wait in vain. But with all things it is possible that even with close planning the military has its own agenda and sadly our weddings arent at the top of their plans :P

    congratulations on your engagement!!!
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