In Response to
Re: Wedding Announcements?:
[QUOTE]Stan - I'm confused about why you had to wait. If he's enlisted, and then you enlist, where's the problem? Or, if you were going to commission, then waiting wouldn't matter since he'd still be enlisted...
Posted by SarahP787[/QUOTE]
Because you have to have a pre-existing legal relationship if one person is going to be commissioned and one is enlisted. Husband/wife, parent/child, etc. There's an adage about two Lance Corporals (E3s) correcting a Colonel (sometimes I hear it as a Sergeant Major) when they see him having lunch with a female PFC, ant the Colonel barks, "Devil Dogs, WHAT is your problem with me having lunch with my DAUGHTER?!"
That to me will always illustrate the difficulties FI and I will have. Those Lance Corporals wouldn't have known that they were related if they hadn't tried to correct a Colonel (and really, who would do that?). Instead, they would have thought something inappropriate about that Colonel, and likely inappropriately joked about him. But what happens if that Colonel was their CO? They'd think he was boning an E2, and their perception of him would change, and they'd probably share it with their friends, and that would be bad for the rank structure. And that's just one example. It's why married couples who wouldn't be allowed to date have to be careful and always remember that perception is everything (couples like we will theoretically be are told to avoid being in uniform together in public), and they should strive to not allow their personal (and legal) relationship to detract from good order and respect for the rank structure. I truly believe females have to be even more careful, because fairly or not, most men tend to lump all female service members together. So it's important for me to be a good example in my theoretical future service so that it might be even a bit easier for the women after me. Even if that's too far reaching of a goal, at the very least, I never want my behavior to be an excuse for someone to disrespect female service members currently in, or the ones who came before or for those who will come after. And if I enlisted, FI would look like a skeezy NCO who was messing with a PFC. And I wouldn't want people thinking that NCOs are all out to boink their female Marines either.
"Charging Fraternization:
Article 134, UCMJ: The accused was a Commissioned or Warrant Officer; the accused fraternized with an enlisted member; the accused knew the person was an enlisted member; the fraternization violated the traditions and customs of the accused’s service; and the conduct was prejudicial to good order and discipline or was of a nature to bring discredit on the armed services. Although still a valid standard, its applicability is limited since it requires the accused to be an officer, the other person to be an enlisted member, and the conduct was prejudicial to good order and discipline of the service"
Miscellaneous: The Instruction does not require a direct senior-subordinate supervisory relationship. A subsequent marriage does not excuse or mitigate any illegal conduct. The Instruction is gender neutral.
Relationships with other service personnel: Navy personnel are subject to these rules regardless of the other person’s service affiliation or service rules."
If I were to enlist, it would be FI's issue, because it would be an "Unprofessional Relationship ". "Unprofessional relationships, whether pursued on or off-duty, are those relationships that detract from the authority of superiors or result in, or reasonably create the appearance of, favoritism, misuse of office or position, or the abandonment of organizational goals for personal interests. Unprofessional relationships can exist between officers, between enlisted members, between officers and enlisted members, and between military personnel and civilian employees or contractor personnel."
Bottom line, even if waiting has ruined my chances of getting in or deploying, it was the right thing to do, and even if I never get in, I love the Marine Corps and every Marine more than myself, and I know waiting was the right thing, even if I wasn't ever going to get caught and prosecuted.