Marrying into the Airforce. Planning mostly alone.

alleybee

I have my family around, and my wedding is next june.

He is about to be stationed even further away, more than likely overseas or Alaska so I don't know what I'm going to do for a year doing this by myself! Agh!


I may go crazy, but I swear sometimes the military is out to get me! Hahah.

Yeah well I don't even know how or when to start this. Apparently I'm already overdue SEVEN to-do's and I feel like it's to early to plan for a small wedding...


he comes home for a few days in July. So only a month away but I'm not sure what to do!
He wants to wear his blues for our wedding so I'm going with airforce "navy", sunflower yellow, and ivory... I think. This is all just so new! We've only been engaged for a month or two so I'm preparing but I don't know how well.

SamiJoeB

Girl, You need to relax!!

You have a year. I pulled my wedding together in 4 months. Other girls on the board have done it with 5 or 6 months, Some do it in 2, so with a year to plan, you're fine.

Now.. Have you and your FI ever been through a deployment? Or separated at all? My H has been stationed in Japan for over a year now on unaccompanied orders, so I know how hard it is to be apart from your SO. You have to be able to roll with the punches. Welcome to the Military lifestyle. It's not out to get you, it's out to do what it needs to do in order to work as the well oiled machine that is the US Military. You can't take anything personally. Keep yourself busy. Are you in school? Do you work? The key to separation is distraction. I've read over 100 books this year, I'm training to run a marathon, taught myself how to knit, and just finished an online course in wedding/event planning (Thank you Penn Foster!) I do all sorts of things to keep me distracted from missing the Hubs.

As far as actual planning.. Ask him what's important to him (most Grooms only care about the food IME), and then go for it. Do you have the help of your parents or future IL's? Or maybe a best friend to help you? Don't pay any attention to TheKnot's checklist... I didn't. STD's go out 6-9 months in advance, Invitations go out around the 3 month mark. You have plenty of time to get all your ducks in a row.

Welcome to the Board!!

iluvmytxrgr

Ditto Sammi on the relax part.  The only things you need to look at now are venues and vendors.  You can take a little bit of time on that, depending on your area. 
As far as colors, don't try to match his uniform.  It never looks right.  I would stick with the yellow and ivory.  Let the uniforms be the only blue color. 
Start looking at dresses for you and your girls. 
Talk to your FI.  Figure out the formality and style of your wedding. 

kara811

Welcome to the Boards!

Ditto PPs. You don't need to worry about much right now, you have plenty of time! The only things that are really important right now are the date(I'm assuming you've got this already), style of the wedding, and a venue. You can also start figuring out a guest list, but nothing is set in stone til you send out those STDs. I had so many things "overdue" throughout the planning process, I never paid much attention to the TK checklist because most of it didn't even apply to me.

H has been stationed in Japan for almost 3 years now, so I know how it's like planning a wedding so far away from your SO and being alone for the most part. Talk to your FI on things he wants in the wedding, and what you want too then you 2 can reach on a compromise. Throughout the planning, H was in Japan and on deployment for half the year. I sent him emails and pictures of things, because he wanted to be "involved" as much as he can. He wanted inputs on invites, STDs, food, cake, the tuxes they wore, etc. 

Like Sami said, it may feel like the military is always out to get you, but it's just a lifestyle that you have to adapt and get used to. Happy Planning!

shan87

Welcome to the boards, as an AF wife I understand what you're going through. All of the ladies gave really great advice.

Step 1: Ask FI what are his must have's for your wedding
Step 2. Say Okay Dear
Step 3. Figure out a budget, talk with FI, and both sets of parents.
Once you get a budget nailed down you can decide how many people you can afford to feed and hydrate. Once you know the number of guests that will cut down your options for venues.

Easy peezy If you have any AF specific questions I'd be happy to help.

We didn't try to match his Mess Dress, we had the guys in white tuxes and girls in purple dresses


IMO we look dynamite haha but I'm biased.

If you get a great photog s/he can play with lighting and make anything look great. (And great doesn't have to be expensive ours was thousands less than the area standard because I went to College with her)

HTH!

ETA: This may come off as bratty but sometimes its nice to do things on your own. This is the first example of having to find your own voice and be able to do things for yourself. Your FI will be gone again throughout your lives together so you have to be able to do things for yourself and not be co-dependent.

SarahP787

You'll be OK! It seems like a million things to do, but if you just take it a step at a time there's plenty of time. I ended up making my own general timeline because I'm very into planning ahead, and The Knot's checklist doesn't fit our situation well.

Also, *I* am currently planning on navy, yellow, pink, and ivory, and Fi and his groomsmen will be in Army dress blues... so while PP's are totally right that you don't have to match the uniform at all, *hopefully* it's possible to pull off navy along with the uniforms. (Now you all have me worried...!)

I have occasionaly thought the Army was out to get me, but then I realize it just doesn't care about me... which isn't exactly comforting, but good to realize there's no malice involved.

alleybee

Yes, my future in-laws are AWESOME. I've been close with them for a few years and since he's not around often I do things with them and go on vacation along-side so I know they'll be there. My parents aren't THRILLED about the idea that as soon as I'm married I'll be moving overseas. But, no he hasn't been deployed yet. But I'm sure it's coming soon, he's only been in for a year. Staying for the 20; so we've got awhile. I wasn't really raised military and the only reason I know anything is because when we met he told me he was going to join and I started learning. Three years and I still feel like I hardly know anything! haha!

but I'm trying not to rush myself, and yes, I am in school so it's been keeping me busy. It's just exciting. I finish in April so I thought June would be about a good time to actually tie the knot. And I've been thinking about the not using the navy color and I think your right, I might just go with an ivory and yellow. Maybe tie in some powdery-pinks. Having to miss him all the time only makes me want to plan plan plan, to make me feel like it's coming sooner but I'm getting ahead of myself I'm sure!

June 16, 2012.



Let's hope it's smooth sailing!

kyrgyzstan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_marrying-airforce-planning-mostly-alone?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f1d26c9c-977f-4dd8-a9e5-33126302fdb9Post:aeffb50e-879a-46ea-bdf1-79de250db9c7">I know I have time, It's just a lot.</a>:
[QUOTE] yes, I am in school so it's been keeping me busy. It's just exciting. I finish in April so I thought June would be about a good time to actually tie the knot. 
Posted by alleybee[/QUOTE]

<div>So, are you graduating college in April of next year?</div>