Invitation Etiquette

Luke&Sam625

I know I could post this on the Etiquette board, but i figured I'd try here first, since You ladies are my Favorite!!
FI and I are having a super small ceremony (14 people). As far as invitations go.. I was thinking that it would be best to send out engagement announcements and maybe on them say that we are having a small ceremony with just our families. And then after the wedding send out wedding announcements reiterating that it was a family only ceremony. Does that seem like we're just asking for gifts?

mysticl

I would go with just the announcements after the wedding.  Doing two seems like a bit of overkill and some people might see it as gift grabby to repeatedly inform them of a wedding they weren't invited to. 

meltoine

Ditto PP. I've never heard of people printing and sending "engagement announcements". To do so with the tagline you suggest comes off sounding like, "You should be super happy for us and maybe buy us a present, but you're not important enough to actually be a part of it. 

Honestly, I wouldn't even send out announcements after the fact. That still seems gift-grabby to me. Just involve the people you want to involve, and tell other people what they need to know when it comes up. 

catemeg

I can appreciate the attempt to let people share in the happy news, but I agree it's a tricky thing to do without seeming gift-grabby.

If I were in that situation, I would call up all family members and close friends to let them know that we were getting married, and that you'd love to grab coffee with them sometime to celebrate (and meet your FI, if they haven't already), but unfortunately 'due to military time constraints and budget', your wedding will be super small and quick.  I think this is probably the least offensive way to let them know - offering to grab coffee sometime is always a very casual way to do something.

Also, though it's got its good and bad points, Facebook is an excellent way to let everyone know you're engaged and when you get married.  Even friends who I would never assume I'd be invited, or those who are in a similar situation with a small wedding, it's nice to be able to keep up to date on what's going on with them.

Good luck! 

Luke&Sam625

Thank you ladies!!!

Beachy730

Definitely skip the engagement announcements, unless you plan on inviting them.  I would probably be a litte confused if I got an engagement announcement that said small family only ceremony.  Announce on facebook or through word of mouth if you want.  I think the wedding announcement after would be fine.  I personally have never seen one, but I hear a lot of people talk about them on here. 

amyl2585

I personally think wedding announcements are gift grabby. I really feel like its saying "we got married, you were invited, ha...now send me a gift." 
I would say facebook and word of mouth is fine. If people ask then just tell them it was very small and then offer to do lunch/grab a coffee.