Question about this board-honestly not trying to be rude

TheSparrow

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_question-this-board-honestly-not-trying-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:f364030f-af8c-4f1e-bdc3-225e000c63d3Post:7193de0a-a841-4839-ab7f-8a9fbe40a861">Re: Question about this board-honestly not trying to be rude</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Question about this board-honestly not trying to be rude : She did not say all were, she said a lot... There are lot of great military significant others out there, just as there are a lot of really rude and bitchy ones.
Posted by caitlink23[/QUOTE]

Generally, "a lot" consitutes many, which is usually a majority. The way she phrased it, especially the idea of "getting used to it" because it's going to be so commonplace, seemed to emphasize that it was the majority. It's one thing to say that there are some bitchy ones, & then say that there are great ones as well, it's a completely other thing to make it sound like the massive majority are bitchy. And the latter is definitely how it came off. Everything about her phrasing was downright negative about military wives, & I'm sorry that I find such generalizing things downright rude.

L*Lopez7784

wait a minute. you're right, there is this new wave of bitchiness in military brides and wives. some of you may have already been through it, some are just starting out, but NO ONE can understand fully what this life is like until they've lived it. so where else but with other brides and wives can you get the support needed?  there are lifelong friendships to be made and what i've seen on this board (and at our current duty station) are a particular group of women who are catty and scandalous not just to each other but to their own spouses. it's ridiculous. being a military spouse means you have to take on A LOT of responsibility on your own which requires a certain level of maturity which i have not seen. also, there's a difference between honest and matter of fact and being rude and mean. some people need to learn some tact.

catemeg

L*Lopez, I think that says more about the generation than just military spouses.  There are a lot of self-entitled, immature brats that are coming of marrying age.  The entire age group from 10-30 years old was raised in a world that idolized the materialistic and catty behavior of Sex & The City, the drama of Grey's Anatomy, the moral code of Gossip Girl.  None of this is behavior or morals that should be copied, but yet we find ourselves with a group of girls that find and create unnecessary drama in every day life.  These women are not out to support each other - they're in an unspoken competition, even with their closest friends.

I do blame the internet and digital media for a lot of the rudeness that you see.  If you scroll the other boards on this site, they're even meaner and cattier than the stuff on this one (at least here I think most people are trying to be helpful).  The ease of Facebook and Twitter to just say what you feel, or to romanticize bitchiness, is what feeds today's drama.  Ever talk to a modern day 15 year old?  Ask them about their best friend - I guarantee you there's some drama in the recent past involving texts or Facebook or emails or GChat statuses or YouTube.  When I was 15 (which was 10 years ago, for crying out loud) if we were going to get in a fight, I had to ask my parents to use the house phone first to call her.  It wasn't as easy as simply firing off a nasty text or posting a bitchy Facebook status or tagging obnoxious pictures or writing a passive aggressive Twitter.

For everything the internet and cell phone communication has brought us, it has done equal damage to our social networks.  Women do not support women, and that's just the sad truth of our society.

*steps off soapbox and jumps on the iPhone*

L*Lopez7784

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_question-this-board-honestly-not-trying-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:f364030f-af8c-4f1e-bdc3-225e000c63d3Post:bcbb9c66-bebf-4036-8e89-eed3b112be63">Re: Question about this board-honestly not trying to be rude</a>:
[QUOTE]L*Lopez, I think that says more about the generation than just military spouses.  There are a lot of self-entitled, immature brats that are coming of marrying age.  The entire age group from 10-30 years old was raised in a world that idolized the materialistic and catty behavior of Sex & The City, the drama of Grey's Anatomy, the moral code of Gossip Girl.  None of this is behavior or morals that should be copied, but yet we find ourselves with a group of girls that find and create unnecessary drama in every day life.  These women are not out to support each other - they're in an unspoken competition, even with their closest friends.[/QUOTE]
i completely agree with that. it's weird because i'm only 26 but these girls only a few years younger seem to come from a completely different world. maybe it's b/c DH is 32 and my friends are military wives who have been doing it for a decade or more. there's a reason why there's a seperate board for military brides and civilian brides. it's a completely different world and i think a lot (yes a lot not all, and not the majority) of new brides completely miss that fact. it just goes right over their heads. it's not high school anymore ladies. time to grow up and put on your big girl pants because when your husband deploys and you are his POA he puts his entire life in your hands and has to trust you 100% to make sure everything is on the up and up until he comes back.

red1115

catemeg - love your posts - your advice & insight is spot on!  Military life is hard enough w/o the burden of immaturity.

As for some of the young women today...<sigh />...Nothing makes me feel older than telling my 18yr old niece to take a bite of Ivory soap as her language is worse than my Marine brother's!!