I need some advice

Zeldakins

Well my SO is going through a rough patch and I don't quite know what to do  to help him through it. I know there's not much that I can do...but I feel like I need to do SOMETHING. Any suggestions?

SamiJoeB

Is he deployed right now? I would recommend a care package or cards or something if so.  Or if he can check email regularly, send him sweet emails.  If he's state-side and you get to see him a lot, make him his favorite dinner, or bake him cookies (You could also bake cookies for a care package).  When my H goes through a rough patch, he's usually tired, fed up with being in another country, & missing me.  Talking to each other a whole lot when we're already missing each other, really just makes it worse, so I just try to give him a little bit of space.  I've learned that this is the best approach for us.  Without knowing your SO, this is really the best I can do.. HTH

Rethany

I agree with Sami. She gave some great ideas! It really depends on your situation. I typically just steer clear of FI and give him some space when he's going through a rough time. I've learned from past experiences that is just how he deals with things. I hope things get better.

Zeldakins

He's been in AIT for a couple of months now a couple states away, but I think I might just bake him some cookies and write him a nice letter...but also try to give him some space, while letting him know that I'm still here to help him out when he does want to talk. How do I go about sending cookies without them going bad?

AmandaSC1988

I have sent several of my cookies to my FI. He loves getting them...I normally just put them in a left over container and mailed it to him. I put too many cookies in the container so they crumbled, but they tasted just fine.

I don't know how long it takes them to get to where your SO is stationed, but it took my cookies about 4 days, I had to make sure they went out on Monday or Tuesday to get there before the weekend.

crownsuperstar

Sami took the words right out of my mouth.  Before H deployed, I was told that they really enjoyed the smell of home.  So I try to send a couple of things that smell like home.  For example, I sprayed a little bit if my body spray on a t-shirt that I sent to him.  It seemed strange but it did lift his spirits.  I also make sure that I send him snacks that I know he likes and cannot get over there (either not offered or very expensive) and he does like those as well.  I also try to make the skype dates or e-mails full of talk about our friends and funny things that have been said or done since he has been gone.  One thing that really lifted his spirits was the weekend we skyped him in to a football party we were having.  He got to talk to everyone and it really made a difference. 

Good luck.  I always feel helpless when I can not make H feel better becuase he is a world away. 

shayNnik

Advice for the cookies-put a piece of bread in the container. It'll help keep the cookies from getting too crunchy. My sister did this when she sent me cookies while I was deployed and after about 8 days of traveling the world, they were still amazing!

AmandaSC1988

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_need-advice-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:fae393af-97b1-42c9-9862-4ebab6474266Post:840631a6-e41f-42ca-bf32-b2bbfa8afe59">Re: I need some advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Advice for the cookies-put a piece of bread in the container. It'll help keep the cookies from getting too crunchy. My sister did this when she sent me cookies while I was deployed and after about 8 days of traveling the world, they were still amazing!
Posted by shayNnik[/QUOTE]

I knew to do this for brownies, I didn't know it worked with cookies too!

SamiJoeB

Ditto the bread thing! And I've found that White bread works better than wheat.  I don't like bread at all so when I do eat it, I eat wheat, but whenever I'm baking things for H, I get a loaf of white bread and put it in there with anything I bake him.  It takes about a week for him to get things in Japan, so if your FI is only a few states away, they should still be super yummy!!!

crownsuperstar

Opps, I am the sucky wife I forgot about the bread with cookies.  H said they were still really good.  HA Next time I guess.

sofiabrian

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_need-advice-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:fae393af-97b1-42c9-9862-4ebab6474266Post:0b62bc16-300b-4444-8f6d-5d7ed79aacba">Re: I need some advice</a>:
[QUOTE]Opps, I am the sucky wife<strong> I forgot about the bread with cookies.</strong>  H said they were still really good.  HA Next time I guess.
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

<div>Me too! Now I know. but H eats them anyway. As do all the guys on his team. "Is Mrs. SofiaBrian making more cookies?!?"</div>