New Mexico

Mothers! Ugh.

I'm sorry for venting... I went to try on wedding dresses for the first time this past weekend and found a dress that I absolutely love. Well, my 2 best friends and my sister went with me. They also fell in love with the dress. When my mom finally arrived, she saw me in the dress and couldnt even crack a smile. She looked at the dress in almost disgust. I was SO sad. THEN, i took my soon to be mother in law to see it. I was wearing it when she walked in the store. She did the same exact thing! I cried the whole way home. Luckily my honey was there to comfort me and tell me I'm beautiful and he's sure the dress is, too. I'm debating on just eloping. But, I could never leave my dad out... Any advice on how to deal with mean mothers and MILs? I've decided not to include my fi's mom in anything else. But, my mom, i want her involved. But I hate her cynical attitude about everything. Help!

Re: Mothers! Ugh.

  • edited December 2011
    Has your mom been negative about every aspect of the wedding? If so, then take it from me, talk to her now. Don't put it off like I did. The earlier you address the problems, the better. Sit her down and ask if anything is wrong in her life. If there's nothing else going on, then maybe talk to her about her concerns about the wedding. Does she like your FI? Is it about money? Religion?As for your future MIL, maybe it is just about the dress. If so, then simply don't talk to her about it. You're the one wearing it. She doesn't have to like it - you do. If you feel beautiful in it, then that really is all that matters. Weddings hit all of the sensitive spots in our lives and tend to bring up a whole lot of crap that you probably never even thought of before. I hope things get better for you. Good luck!
  • melishka716melishka716 member
    edited December 2011
    Just repeat after me... "It's my wedding, not theirs..." Think about it; you're wearing it, not them. Maybe their ages, or tastes prevent them from seeing a beautiful dress. If you liked it, and all of the girlies did, too, then don't get let down.Also, I think you should casually bring it up in a conversation with both of them, seperatly. Ask them what they liked/disliked about it. Just get the air cleared BEFORE you make a purchase. You want to reason with any uneasiness, even if in the end, this is still the dress you buy, or not.GL
  • kylesgrl05kylesgrl05 member
    edited December 2011
    I agree with "it's your wedding, not theirs" I have been struggling with this for a while, I just want to make everyone happy but FI keeps telling me that it doesn't matter what they say it's our wedding. I'm sure the dress was beautiful don't let them get you down.
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  • edited December 2011
    Pretty much like everyone has said. Its your wedding not theirs. Sit down and talk to you mom. Let her know how you feel. Let her know that you want her invovled but if there is something you truely have your heart set on, tell her to not hurt you. To just be supportive.My mom had mentioned she didnt like something and its not the one she wanted and I said Wait a min... I like it, its my wedding! Even my little 11 year old sister stoped her and said the same thing. She hasnt said anything bad after that. If its something I like she is not supportive. So just talk to her. Be open. Hope I was of some help! =)Good Luck!<a href=";&gt;&lt;img src="; alt="Wedding Countdown Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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