Bar types here in NM

sculli

Hello all!

So I'm just curious, for those of us tying the Knot here in NM, what bar style are you leaning towards having, if at all one?  Cash bar? Beer and Wine? Full open bar?

FI and I have lived in NM all our lives and we have been to many wedding each with different bar types and we're trying to figure out the most appropriate.  We'd love to do a full open bar but financially we are unable so instead we’re leaning towards beer and wine.  So just wondering what all the other lovely NM brides are thinking.  Thanks for the input!

horsevaulter

We want to do an open bar too, but with finances, we are leaning towards just serving a few signiture drinks... Probably with some beer as well

jlrowell

I think wine and beer is fine, but im not so sure about a cash bar.
Good luck!

Beazilla

We're just doing beer and wine. Open doesn't have to mean a full bar, just that you're covering it. And most people are satisified with just beer & wine (plus your reception site might not be able to serve more than those). Cash bars are tacky, even though a lot of people do them, because you're having your guests pay for part of your wedding.

devinjamez

     I've been struggling with this too (along with FMIL). My FI is dead-set against having a hosted bar of any type (he really doesn't understand etiquette- putting it lightly). He thinks that:
 a.) It will be expensive- which it will be
 b.) People will abuse it- walk around with three drinks at a time and get sloppy and leave them everywhere. 

     On one hand you have the budget and on the other hand you have the fact that you are hosting the party.  My FIL's entertain a ton- and they haven't thrown a single party where they haven't had a complete stocked open bar, and I'm not sure FMIL is comfortable with a cash bar. Oh- and his parents are paying for the entire wedding so I think they should get the final say, but he keeps arguing with his mother about this.

    If anyone has any ideas on how to make him see our side of things I would much appreciate it!

rachael.baker

We are getting married at a venue that only serves beer and wine, which works perfect for us as most of our guests don't drink hard alcohol (we're having a smaller wedding) and for my parents, who are paying for it! Cash bars are typically frowned upon. Also, and devin, this may work as a compromise for your FI as well, my friend got married last year and they had a hosted bar for a few hours then closed down when either a certain $ limit was reached or a certain hour (I think they chose 10ish).

Hope this helps!

devinjamez

Thanks for the advise- and Congratulations!!!!!

sculli

Oh I like the amount limit!!!  That way people get what they want and it's not a surprise at the end.  Thanks for the input all!!

nikkismiles

My FI and I are paying for our entire wedding.  That being said, we are striving to have a very nice reception with a plated dinner.  Receptions come with drinks, usually tea and water.  Because we are paying for everything on our own, we have decided to have a cash bar for people who would like to drink.  I don't think cash bars are as tacky as they may have once been, and with more and more couples paying for their own weddings, they are becoming more common.  I guess it all depends on the couple.  The biggest thing in wedding planning is that you have to decide what the priorities of your big day are to you.  For us, our priority is a sit down dinner, so a hosted bar had to go.  Also, I have to say to not sweat the small stuff.  In a year, I don't think people will be remembering having to pay for a drink at your wedding, but that's just me.  Also, I just received a bit of advice I received recently from the wedding coordinator at my reception site is that some cash bars, literally mean cash (not cards), so if that's the case, she suggested that it might be wise to use a nice phrase at the bottom of your reception invitation to indicate this, that way if people want to drink, they will come prepared.  Again, I would say to decide between the two of you what the main priorities you have for your wedding are, and let the other things fall into place.

Also, you have the option of the bar being an open bar for a certain amount of time, and then becoming cash afterwards.

Lastly, a tip I have seen David Tutera say countless times in all his shows and books... He suggests white wines being served on your big day because the last thing you want is for someone to spill their red wine on your white dress!!! Or even worse, you to spill red wine on your white dress!!

Good luck, everything will work out!!!

Zillian

I agree with the above poster. My fiancee and I are doing a cash bar and no, it is NOT tacky. We are paying for everything ourselves and it would be financially impossible for us to pay for people's alcoholic drinks. This is a huge debate at weddings,  cash bar/ hosted bar/ open bar. If I could pay for an open bar..I would! At the same time though, why should I pay for people to indulge in drinking when they are here to celebrate our wedding? In our invitations at the bottom we included "cash bar," so it would not be a surprise when people walked up to the bar and would need to buy their own beer. I  think it is sad that someone would find a cash bar tacky; I have been to more weddings than not, that have cash bars, it is becoming more common. However, We are providing a complimentary bottom of champagne for every table for the champagne toast, that will cost over $300 just for that. 

It is up to you, but if you can't afford an open bar or even a hosted bar, then don't feel guilt tripped into trying to provide one when you simply cannot.  People who love you don't care about that kind of stuff anyways.

Best

devinjamez

Actually, to the best of my knowledge, I have only been to one wedding here in NM that actually had wine and beer hosted and the rest of the weddings I've been to had cash bars. I think here in NM people are not as judgmental and pretentious as other regions in the country. I need to stay away from the etiquette board. They are poisoning my mind! Lol!

redhed831

I think it's unfair to say that other people are judgmental and pretentious. Etiquette rules vary by region, and some rules are more important in some areas than others.

Personally, I am hosting beer and Crown (because between my friends and family, I'm sure everyone will be covered, LOL), but if anyone wants anything else, a cash bar will be available.

As far as if people care or will remember... I think that the prior poster was right when saying that people won't remember if they paid for a drink at your wedding or not. That said, I think they WILL remember if they didn't have to pay for a drink.