New Mexico

Grooms parents want to invite the whole community!

So my fiances family is rather large, but half of them don't even know my name and we have been together for 6 years!  His parents think we need to invite the entire community to our wedding so our price has sky rocketed and our guest list.  I was looking at 200 people and now our guest list is at 400!!! The groom and I sat down with his parents to go over the guest list and we probably didn't know 150 of the people... I don't want to be that bride who is meeting people the entire reception..... Any advice?

Re: Grooms parents want to invite the whole community!

  • edited December 2011
    I had the same problem.  I broke down and started crying because fmil wanted me to change the reception site and everything! He made his list a lot smaller after he saw the stress it was causing.  I would talk to him
  • edited December 2011
    I don't know your nationality or your FI's, but if he's Latino/Hispanic like me, I'm facing the same issue with my parents who see this event as THEIR day rather than mine.
    How I'm dealing with the situation is trying to compromise. I asked mom to make her list, and we went over each person individually. I asked her to be honest and tell me how important that person's presence was, and she was honest. This way we cut down her list by more than half!!

    In the alternate, if your in-laws are a bit less understanding, then be honest and ask them to pitch in for the reception cost. There's nothing wrong with being honest and asking for help.

    Good luck!

    "My husband says I feed him like he's a god: every meal is a burnt offering." ~Rhonda Hansome
  • edited December 2011

    Im also somewhat in the same boat. FI and I had to cut out OUR friends from the guest list. My parents are paying for the reception so I decided to let them have their day (which it should be mine but I have gotten over that). After the honeymoon, we are holding a party with just our friends so we can really celebrate our married life. I don't know if this is an option for you to cut down the list, but I thought it was the best for FI and me.

    But wow... meeting the whole family! Going around every table and talking to people will indeed be tiring, but it will only last about and hour to an hour and a half. After that, people seem to understand that you want to be with your new hubby. I have noticed that they tend to become more interested in talking to each other after you say hello.

    Take a deep breath! It wont take all night to say hi! Though with 400 people, it will be somewhat exhausting!!


  • jpbluejayjpbluejay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I had a similar problem, however, its me who has the huge family. I told my parents that we want people at our wedding who are going to act as a support system for our. marriage throughout our lives. That's what having witnesses at your wedding is all about. Now, I could be wrong, but I don't think people who you would be meeting on your wedding day will play that role. 

    When I put things into that perspective, my parents totally understood. Sure, I'm going to have a 5th cousin as my mom why he or she wasn't invited, but I think its okay to say "we wanted a small wedding". 

  • edited December 2011
    I was having the same problem, but it was my side of the family lol. My first list was huge and it made me freak out, but after talking to some people we decided to have a smaller wedding and the day after have a big summer picnic for all the guests.
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