Not Engaged Yet

How to wait and be patient when even relatives bring up the topic?

My boyfriend and I have been dating a year. I'm pretty much the only grandchild who is potentially getting married amongst my relatives. I know were getting married someday because we constantly discuss our future.: It's hard to be patient and wait for our time when left and right people say, "there going to be another weddig soon? Or ,"I expected you to have a ring when you came backwent on vacation with his family last month. Or my cousin who asked me if he proposed after only 5 months! We both want to be financially stable before marriage and this makes waiting hard when everyone expects it and friends I know are getting married. Any advice?

Re: How to wait and be patient when even relatives bring up the topic?

  • In Response to Re:How to wait and be patient when even relatives bring up the topic?:[QUOTE]My boyfriend and I have been dating a year. I'm pretty much the only grandchild who is potentially getting married amongst my relatives. I know were getting married someday because we constantly discuss our future.: It's hard to be patient and wait for our time when left and right people say, "there going to be another weddig soon? Or ,"I expected you to have a ring when you came backwent on vacation with his family last month. Or my cousin who asked me if he proposed after only 5 months! We both want to be financially stable before marriage and this makes waiting hard when everyone expects it and friends I know are getting married. Any advice? Posted by swinginsal08[/QUOTE]

    Wow your family sounds craycray. That would drive me nuts.

    Do you mind me asking how old you are?



  • My BF and I have been together for almost 4 years and my family/friends can get pretty bad about asking questions about when we are finally going to get engaged/married. That sort of pressure can be really frustrating. There isn;t really anything you can do to make it easier to be patient but you could tell your family members that you love that they are excited about your relationship but you would really appreciated if they back off about the marriage stuff.

    Or you could be more snarky and tell anyone who asks that you push back your plans a month every time someone brings it up :)


  • I'm actually 22 years old, he'll be 25 in October.:
  • This is familiar in my family too. BF and i have been together almost 3 years now and he's sure taking his sweet time. Tell your family that you guys talk about it and are begining to make plans.... it gives them something to look forward to. But, that you two aren't ready to commit to anything just yet and don't want to spoil anything. ; Keep them on their toes. It will happen when it's meant to.
  • I'm the last in my family to get married (though, by far not the youngest), so I get this a lot as well. I always say "it'll happen when it's time, but right now we are just focused on us."
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • "You've planned your flowers, found a gown...but no ring (yet)? Welcome to NEY."

    the knot recognizes that people plan together before they're engaged. my sister and her husband went ring shopping for a date only a few months into their relationship. nothing wrong with looking to the future even though- gasp! - you're not engaged yet. swinginsal, I'm with you and I think it's hard but keep pushing on and working towards financially being ready. also don't take it personally when rude people bash your posts... 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_how-to-wait-and-be-patient-when-even-relatives-bring-up-the-topic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:01f9e34c-e7c7-4c06-a895-9b92e1b00ae2Post:9dcec47d-b234-4ddc-a03f-22ac9f9ffe87">Re: How to wait and be patient when even relatives bring up the topic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]"You've planned your flowers, found a gown...but no ring (yet)? Welcome to NEY." the knot recognizes that people plan together before they're engaged. my sister and her husband went ring shopping for a date only a few months into their relationship. nothing wrong with looking to the future even though- gasp! - you're not engaged yet. swinginsal, I'm with you and I think it's hard but keep pushing on and working towards financially being ready. also don't take it personally when rude people bash your posts... 
    Posted by dayma09[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yea, if you've been around but at all, you know that tag doesn't describe this board worth anything. Run along now. *pats head*</div>
    --------------------------------------------------------------


     
    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_how-to-wait-and-be-patient-when-even-relatives-bring-up-the-topic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:01f9e34c-e7c7-4c06-a895-9b92e1b00ae2Post:9dcec47d-b234-4ddc-a03f-22ac9f9ffe87">Re: How to wait and be patient when even relatives bring up the topic?</a>:
    [QUOTE]"You've planned your flowers, found a gown...but no ring (yet)? Welcome to NEY." the knot recognizes that people plan together before they're engaged. <strong>my sister and her husband went ring shopping for a date only a few months into their relationship</strong>. nothing wrong with looking to the future even though- gasp! - you're not engaged yet. swinginsal, I'm with you and I think it's hard but keep pushing on and working towards financially being ready. also don't take it personally when rude people bash your posts... 
    Posted by dayma09[/QUOTE]

    Okay, what does ring shopping have to do with anything? You do realize that looking for engagement rings is not the same as pre-planning a wedding right?

    I guess there is nothing wrong with not capitalizing the first word of a sentence either?
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  • steignsteign member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    Hi, I don't post much here, I'm a lurker....but, I can relate to your situation too. Especially from my friends who ask about marriage all the time, or say "when you're engaged". I always just say, "Yeah we will see what happens when that time comes" and I try to change the topic. I think they are probably just excited for you but, if you're anything like me it's hard not to have smart ass comments to say back.
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