Fiance's cousin passed away on wedding date 1 year before

joklein7

The one year anniversary of my FI's cousin's death is our wedding day next year. Is there an appropriate way to honor this? Of course I would check with his mother before we do anything but I just wanted to get other opinions. We are getting married in the same venue as the reception (hotel ballroom with a short ceremony.)

jagore08

I wouldn't do anything too big because it's only been a year and close family members may get really emotional.  If it were me, I would light a memorial candle with DH and let it burn throughout the night.

kmmssg

It isn't just his mom who could have a huge problem with this.  It could be a sibling, a cousin who was especially close, a grandparent, or an aunt or uncle.  This is such a recent loss, I think I wouldn't mention it at all.  His mom will be profoundly aware it is the anniversary of her childs death and your wedding will most likely be a very welcome diversion to keep her busy.  I would let this one go.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_fiances-cousin-passed-away-on-wedding-date-1-year-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:b9758e10-6856-43cb-9ac9-0719a47dd0f8Post:52c5a5df-098a-42ec-84b1-b1338d5dd590">Re: Fiance's cousin passed away on wedding date 1 year before</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally I would move the date since it's just one year after, but if that wasn't possible, I wouldn't mention it AT ALL.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I agree with this.

helleb

For our wedding I am carrying on my bouqet a pic of all the loved ones I and my FI have lost throughout our lives.  You could do this.

I think something else that no one has mentioned is that you have to be mindful of HOW a person died before someone tries to make an addition of some sort to honor them.  If it was a long struggle its completely different than if it was abrupt and no one saw it coming or it was violent in any way.  I would think making an addition to the prayers like " We pray for the loved ones we say in our hearts" would be sufficient.

As far as moving your wedding day, I think it depends on where you are in the planning process and if the date was set before he passed.  If the invites are sent its too late to change anyway but I think a PP is correct that it may give the mother a diversion.

I think no matter the advice given on this board it is really about knowing your family and his.  Maybe speak to your FMIL or FFIL they would be the ones with the best insight into this matter.