Not Engaged Yet

Sleeping in separate beds

http://www.today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38410209/ns/today-the_new_york_times?GT1=43001

I saw this article on the MSN homepage today and i guess it sort of surprised me that sleeping in separate beds is considered a "new" trend.  so what do you ladies think???
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Re: Sleeping in separate beds

  • hetshuphetshup member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If it's good enough for Ricky and Lucy, then it's good enough for me.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sleeping-separate-beds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:07fe58a0-73b5-41c4-a3c1-99aca39bd26dPost:66c76075-7da1-42ce-ad98-c9bf719aed9c">Re: Sleeping in separate beds</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it's good enough for Ricky and Lucy, then it's good enough for me.
    Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

    In some eps they had separate beds, and in others, they slept in the same bed.
  • edited December 2011
    If either of us is really sick, we sleep in separate beds so as not to keep the other up.  It's important to us that we not get each other sick or keep the other from getting a good night's sleep, because neither of us wants the other one to be unproductive at work (and potentially get fired).  I'm sure if snoring or some other nighttime ailment ever became a problem, we would consider sleeping in separate beds, as both of our parents already do this because of snoring issues, but thankfully for right now we're good.  His only complaint is that I emit heat all the time, and then want to snuggle because I feel like I'm freezing because my body is expelling all my warmth.  I'm weird, I know.
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  • edited December 2011
    I voted no, because FI and I both sleep better when we sleep together.  However, if one of us didn't sleep well together then I might consider sleeping seperately.  Also, if one of us needed to sleep a certain way such as inclined or something then it might be easier to just sleep seperate.

    FI's grandparents sleep in seperate beds (rooms even) and they still "do it" twice a week... they just sleep better in their own beds and then they can each control their temp etc without bothering the other person.
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  • jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    yeah.  my grandparents slept in separate rooms because my grandmother had COPD and had her oxygen tank and breathing machine in her bedroom that was too loud for my grandpa.  Now my parents sleep in separate rooms because my dad kept turning the fan off because he was cold and my mom would turn it back on because she was hot (started with menopause).  now that none of the kids live at home anymore, my mom just moved into one of the other bedrooms so she can have like 10 fans on her at night .
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sleeping-separate-beds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:07fe58a0-73b5-41c4-a3c1-99aca39bd26dPost:66c76075-7da1-42ce-ad98-c9bf719aed9c">Re: Sleeping in separate beds</a>:
    [QUOTE]If it's good enough for Ricky and Lucy, then it's good enough for me.
    Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

    This is the first thing I thought of. That, and the HIMYM when Lily and Marshall decide to get twin beds.

    I have nothing against seperate beds, most of the couples I know have a shared bed but also have a guest bed and will sleep there sometimes. FI's mom will take his bed any time he's OOT because his dad snores and keeps her up at night. IMO,  it's about getting a good night's sleep and nothing more.
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  • deburnindeburnin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't consider it. BF's parents had separate rooms his whole life because of their failing marriage, but didn't want to separate because of him. I think for both of us separate rooms means relationship issues even if that isn't always the case.
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  • edited December 2011
    Right now, I can't even entertain the idea. Sleeping in the same bed is such a rare occurance for us.  However, I can tell that room temperature is going to be an issue for us... He might be getting thermal underwear for a b-day present this year
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  • edited December 2011
    I truly sleep better when FI is in bed with me. However, if either of us us sick or hurt the other sleeps in another room. I don't sleep well without FI but I'm really irritable and wake up very easily when I'm sick.
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  • Hazel_BHazel_B member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've only been sharing a bed with BF on a regular basis for a couple of months now, but I already have issues sleeping when he isn't there. That being said, I have seen how snoring has affected my parents and cannot say I wouldn't sleep separately on a regular basis if something like that came up.
  • meganyanimeganyani member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We could not do it at all. Neither of us sleeps well without the other and since I moved to Maine to be with him, we haven't spent a night apart!

    My grandparents have separate rooms because my grandpa has restless leg syndrome and snors. Just easier for them.
  • edited December 2011
    Even with all the little things that wake me up (I'm a light sleeper), and the fact that if one of us gets up to pee in the middle of the night, the other wakes up and also has to pee... I just sleep better with DH in bed with me.

    We spent so much time long-distance, it's still so wonderful to go to bed and fall asleep either wrapped up in his arms, or with my butt pushing him toward the edge.

    Snoring, elbowing, body heat, and even those rare times he screams in his sleep (!), I still sleep better with him than without.

    Anytime he's not home when I go to bed (which is rare), I can't seem to relax. I may doze, but I just can't get a good nights' rest until he comes to bed. He says it's the same for him.

    He'll take my frozen feet and toe-joint cracking against his legs over sleeping alone any day. lol
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  • edited December 2011
    The only time we really sleep apart is when:

    a) One of us is really sick, like the flu or something similar.

    b) On the rare occasion that we get stuck in a hotel room with double beds. We both tend to push each other out of bed and steal covers when it's anything smaller than a king.

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sleeping-separate-beds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:07fe58a0-73b5-41c4-a3c1-99aca39bd26dPost:06b6e0f0-b4f2-433d-a53c-8816d9fc9c65">Re: Sleeping in separate beds</a>:
    [QUOTE]Anytime he's not home when I go to bed (which is rare), I can't seem to relax. I may doze, but I just can't get a good nights' rest until he comes to bed. He says it's the same for him. He'll take my frozen feet and toe-joint cracking against his legs over sleeping alone any day. lol
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    This.  I HATE trying to fall asleep without DH!  I kick, scream, bite, and generally flail about in my sleep so I certainly wouldn't blame him for sleeping in the guest bed, but he likes to cuddle enough to put up with my crap.
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI and I were LD for 2 years.  Once I got home I basically moved into his apartment with him and we've shared a bed since.  I honestly have trouble sleeping without him.  I love it. 

    Expect when he snores.  Then I put his butt with my foot til he falls off the bed.   hehe

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sleeping-separate-beds?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:07fe58a0-73b5-41c4-a3c1-99aca39bd26dPost:f561ff24-431a-429f-b1bf-11f1e32f3e31">Re: Sleeping in separate beds</a>:
    [QUOTE]If either of us is really sick, we sleep in separate beds so as not to keep the other up.  It's important to us that we not get each other sick or keep the other from getting a good night's sleep, because neither of us wants the other one to be unproductive at work (and potentially get fired).  I'm sure if snoring or some other nighttime ailment ever became a problem, we would consider sleeping in separate beds, as both of our parents already do this because of snoring issues, but thankfully for right now we're good. <strong> His only complaint is that I emit heat all the time, and then want to snuggle because I feel like I'm freezing because my body is expelling all my warmth.  I'm weird, I know.</strong>
    Posted by Acrosthec[/QUOTE]

    I do this. BF calls me his electric blanket.
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  • SopChickSopChick member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    We sleep in the same bed, and BF gets a good night's sleep. I however have been sleeping terribly since we moved in together. He's a total bed hog, and he snores quite loudly! One thing that has helped a bit is having separate blankets. Some of my friends in Europe suggested I try it one day when I was complaining about his sheet stealing habit. Apparently it's really common over there to each have your own.

    My parents slept in separate beds through my whole teenage life just because of my mom's snoring and restless leg syndrome. A king-sized bed and some earplugs solved that problem though. :)
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  • edited December 2011
    We actually have a guest room that we use frequently.  During finals especially, BF has weird hours (going to bed at 1am, getting up at 6am) that do not mesh with my schedule.  I need 8 hours of sleep to function.  So usually I'll go sleep in the other room since it's finals and I want to make sure he's comfortable.  I sleep better when I'm not worried about tossing and turning and keeping him up, so it works for both of us.

    I'd say we sleep in separate beds 1 out of every 10 nights.  We love snuggling next to each other, but we REALLY need a king sized bed, and it just won't physically fit in our house right now.  The queen just isn't working - BF is 6'3" and 200 lbs and takes up 2/3 of the bed, and I like to sleep on my stomach diagonally across the bed in a star-fish design.  So yeah, our queen bed feels just so small, and we wake each other up several times a night.  And he emits heat and sweat like a swamp, so I end up inching away from him and end up with very little space, almost falling off the bed.  Oh yeah, he steals all the covers, too!

    Once we move out of this place (in 2 years) and get a king sized bed, then I don't think we'll spend many nights in separate rooms.  But it's certainly something we'd consider for weeknights anyway.  Whenever I sleep in a different bed, he always comes and snuggles with me to wake me up, and we both seem to be even more affectionate after spending a night apart.
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