Update/I wanna go HOME!!!(vent??)

AbigailMS

So I thought I would do a semi-update/vent...kinda. SO has to be at work before 6, and he tries not to wake me up, but usually when he kisses me goodbye and leaves, I'm up. Since I have to work today, I'm going to post and run, but I'll be back. 

Okay so for the update, as far as the ring question goes, a few of you had advised me to have a sit-down talk with SO, and I did, a few times. I'm not sure what exactly to tell, but we were and are perfectly fine, He's very serious about taking off of school, and I'm not sure I can blame him, but nonetheless we agreed it wasn't decided yet and if it happens it will only be a semester. That said, he also said he wants to look at rings. I pulled up bluenile for him and went to work. I just have to share one thing he said, he thought 1 carat was the smallest size a diamond came in. He's hilarious and I love him. 

For the rant. As I said, SO has been gone since 5, and I've been up since then, and most of what I've been thinking about is how nice it will be to finally get to see my family again. I miss them all so very much. 

Is anyone else a significant distance(2-3+ hours) from your family?  What are you looking forward to most about seeing them? All of my family, even SO's family have great talks, they are all just such caring individuals. I can't wait to just talk to and hug them! (cheesy)

Again, sorry for the longness.

calindi

I'm 3 hours by plane from my family, so yes, I do understand that.  I'm very excited to spend some time with my family - especially my brother, who is 6 hours away by plane.  If I were a 2-3 hour drive, I'd go once in awhile for a weekend.

It sounds like you both need to go look at rings together at a brick-and-mortar store so you can try them on and ask questions - that way he can get a REALISTIC idea of rings, how much they cost, and what you like (1 carat looks a lot bigger on your finger than it does in a picture, FYI).  There is no reason in hell it should require him to take a semester off school - some budgeting to save money?  Sure.  But I would NEVER let my guy make that kind of sacrifice for a piece of jewelry.  I'm not saying this as someone who has no idea, either.  My BF is a full time law student who is living off loans, and we plan to get married right after he graduates.  We have a strict budget on a ring, and we're lucky to have a family diamond to use, but even without that, it's totally possible to get a nice ring at a reasonable price (especially if you're willing to go for less than 1 carat).  One you figure out styles you like, check out Overstock.com, or BlueNile.com to find something you like.  Many girls have rings worth less than $1,000 and they look stunning.

[Deleted User]

I agree with Cate... I actually cringe at the thought of BF paying more than $1000 for a ring... I might be the only one but I'm terrified to walk around with something so expensive on my finger... I'm not afraid someone will mug me for it cuz *I wish a mother*** would.....!!*  lol  I'm just afraid I'll lose it!

As for distance... I'm a scream away from my father... the furthest he gets is I'm in my bedroom and he's in the kitchen! lol 

AbigailMS

IF he takes off of school, its not so he can buy a ring, I agree with you completely. He already has a "real" job, and they want to promote him, but he won't agree to work completely full time, because he was trying to take some extra hours towards his MBA. He's going to decide over christmas break though, because were he to get promoted, they would pay for his MBA. In addition, he doesn't love his job right now, but I say that meaning he doesn't want to be there forever, It's a great job for a 24 year old, especially in this economy, but the promotion could be even better. We're working it out, I'm applying to pharmacy school, so I'll be at least another 5 years. I don't want him to take off school, but I really don't want anyone to think it's because he needs to save for a ring. We're very lucky with his job, we don't have to struggle too much, but all that will change if I get into pharmacy school, I'm sure you can relate with a law school BF.

 I would DIE if my brother and father were that far away! I miss them so much as it is. I hope you get to stay for a few days and spend time with them. Thank you so much for your advice as well! 

MLekathLEEN

I have never lived more than a mile away from my family. My dad's brother used to live next door to my parents and I was actually in the process of buying the house next to my parents new (as of 1990) house. For me, it would be tough to be far away from my family. FI almost applied for a job about 4 hours away and I planned on making the trip home every weekend to see my family.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_updatei-wanna-homevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0838762f-7106-4aef-b8c2-f9d9a9652cb8Post:348cb215-001c-4115-bf5a-554f3fe59cd2">Re: Update/I wanna go HOME!!!(vent??)</a>:
[QUOTE]IF he takes off of school, its not so he can buy a ring, I agree with you completely. He already has a "real" job, and they want to promote him, but he won't agree to work completely full time, because he was trying to take some extra hours towards his MBA. He's going to decide over christmas break though, because <strong>were he to get promoted, they would pay for his MBA.</strong> In addition, he doesn't love his job right now, but I say that meaning he doesn't want to be there forever, It's a great job for a 24 year old, especially in this economy, but the promotion could be even better. We're working it out, I'm applying to pharmacy school, so I'll be at least another 5 years. I don't want him to take off school, but I really don't want anyone to think it's because he needs to save for a ring. We're very lucky with his job, we don't have to struggle too much, but all that will change if I get into pharmacy school, I'm sure you can relate with a law school BF.  I would DIE if my brother and father were that far away! I miss them so much as it is. I hope you get to stay for a few days and spend time with them. Thank you so much for your advice as well! 
Posted by AbigailMS[/QUOTE]

This is a No-Brainer!! IF they are willing to pay for his MBA, there is no question that taking the promotion is the way to go...

PaigeMcC

I agree with PPs.  I'm also a girl that told FBD if he spent more than $1,000 on my ring, I'd fight him. BUT everyone's circumstances are different.  We're saving for a house - the house is more important to me than the bling.  I can always get more rings...our home is something that we'll have together (hopefully) forever.  I wouldn't suggest he take time off - I think that could be detrimental to his education, however everyone's circumstances are different and I think you two need to work this out.

As for the family thing - I used to live a little distance from my family.  For almost 5 years I lived about a 2 hr plane ride (or 8 hr drive, 10 hr ferry and then 6 hr drive) and it sucked buttt coming home was the BEST thing. I got to see FBD, I got to hug my mom and dad and hang out with my siblings.  It's tough being away but it's AWESOME to come home again! Enjoy your trip home, hunny.

mookow86

I wanna go home too! I live a 4.5 hr drive away from my family. BF has also lived there for the entirity of our relationship. I know what you mean...I just miss getting those "family" kind of hugs and stuff. I miss cooking with my mom a ton, too. It's just not quite the same cooking by yourself.

calindi

Sorry, I thought you had posted that his reasons for wanting to take off school were to save for a ring.  And clearly that's a bad decision.

But to temporarily take off so that he can get a promotion that will ultimately pay for the MBA?  Yes, that's a good idea.  Even if I wasn't thrilled with the job, I'd totally stay for a few years if they paid for the MBA.

Just be careful - a lot of companies know this routine, so they'll usually make you sign a contract saying that they'll pay as long as you stay X years after you graduate, and for each month less than that, you have to pay them $X back.  If he's not that happy with the company, then that might not be worth it.

ETA: I moved 1000 miles away to go to college, and I don't regret it a bit.  And then I studied abroad 10,000 miles away for 6 months.  But we talk on the phone nearly every day, and we visit fairly often.  I think my parents are a bit lonely now that my brother moved away, too, but they're planning on buying a condo in San Diego if BF and I are stationed there when we decide to start a family (they're anxiously awaiting being grandparents).

bettyshaw

I live about 3.5 hours from my family by car, but I got home yesterday evening for the holidays. It's so nice to be back here.

GreenPepperBurger

I have never been away from my family. Part of me wants to get away (just so I could have some space) but the other part of me is terrified. But I know that ultimately, getting away and being on my own for a while is something that would benefit me in the long run. When I apply to grad school, I am not applying to any schools in NY.

As for rings, BF and I have some sort idea of a budget. I would really like a non-traditional ring, with a gemstone as the center stone, so that cuts the cost by a bit. But we're still not financially ready, and when we are, that's when we'll get into the nitty gritty of a budget.

As for your BF, if taking off school would allow him a promotion that would pay for his MBA, then that's great. But I agree with Calindi - make sure he reads the fine print. I will just say this though: I know of several people who took off of school for a breather, and never went back. It is much harder to go back when you have been away for a while and are making money.

Good luck.

bourgehm

I agree with what Calini is saying completely.

Also, me and my family are 2 hours away (so is FI from me), and I miss them a lot sometimes as well. However, I'm sitting at home right now!

And I feel like some of the PPs too. When FI and I looked at rings we literally went to the ring stores and picked up the catalogue and looked at all the rings on sale. I didn't want him spending tons on mine. Anything over 1,000 was not okay with me.  I just don't want to have the responsibility of NOT losing something so spendy. And knowing me, I probably would have. I've already lost the ring we did get once, but I found it.