I had a long talk with Boyfriend yesterday about the mixed signals he sends me on the possiblity of us getting married. I told him I didn't want him to feel pressured I just wanted to know what he was thinking. I felt like even if he said he has no clue where he sees thing in the long term that was an answer.
Well he said he feels like he can't propse till he is closer to having the house he is planning built. He is doing the work himself so it will take longer than the norm. His plan is to propose when he has the framework done and hopefully get married around the time the house is done. He is thinking 2-3 years before his house is done. (Of course that depends on his work situation... he fluctuates from last Oct he was working 60 hours a week so he wouldn't have time to get much work done on the house and now he is laid off so that means money put toward the house is on hold.) But like if he is working 40 hours a week that gives him the money to work on the house and the time to work on the house. So that would have him get the house done closer to the 2 year mark. If work doesn't come in or he works extra long hours we are looking at 3 or even longer.
I know most of his income will go to building the house even after we get engaged if we do according to his timeline. I don't have much income. So I am thinking of trying to cut back some places and saving money now so that I will have some money saved up. I am sure my dad will contribute (because he has made it clear he doesn't want me to hurt my grandmother's feelings by not having a formal family wedding like I did my 1st wedding.) I just feel ike even know he has mentioned this I don't think it is right to have any expectation for him to contribute. In fact when he learned that things were getting more serious between my boyfriend and I he said "don't you dare elope again."
Part of me feels like is crazy to save before things are offical. Then part of me feels like if things don't progress to a wedding between Boyfriend and I then I can always use that money for something else, like for my kids for college or a house of my own. I just think the best bet is to make a second savings account seperate from my general savings and try not to that money unless I absolutly have to.
So is it crazy to save what I can now? It won't be much because my budget is tight. I was just thinking right now about every other week I go to lunch with a friend and to start I would just cut that down to once a month and save the amount of one lunch. That I would do little things like that. Just something to start saving. Also right now I have a bill that is $25 a month. That will end in April and I am thinking of adding that $25 to the savings after that bill is paid off.