Not Engaged Yet

ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!

Okay this is about a girl I went to HS with. I'm trying to decide if she's engaged without having to ask her.

Exhibit A: Her relationship status on facebook is "In a relationship with..."  There was no big status "OMG ENGAGED HEHE"

Exhibit B: She wears a diamond ring on her left hand that her boyfriend gave her.

Exhibit C: This is where things get confusing.  This conversation went on in the comments of one of her photos:

Random Friend: "I thought you weren't allowed to wear diamond rings to school?" (she's going to be a dental hygienist or a nurse or something like that)

Girl's FMIL (?): "She better keep that ring on!"

Girl: "We are allowed to have them in lecture but unless it is a smooth wedding band we can't have it in lab."

FMIL: "Y'all need to set a date and get that band on!"

Girl: "I do believe the band doesn't go on until after I'm married.. that's your son's job, not mine!"


So what do you think? Engaged or not?
Anniversary

Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!

  • edited December 2011
    I would have to think yes by the way the FMIL was talking.
  • Ana_2985Ana_2985 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hmm I don't know.  "That's your son's job, not mine" sounds like something someone would say about an engagement ring not a wedding band.  I'm pretty sure they both need to take part in the wedding.

    This makes me really really thankful that I'm not "friends" with my FMIL.
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  • edited December 2011
    I dunno... promise ring maybe?  But yeah, it does sound like she's engaged - perhaps she just doesn't want the drama of all the "congrats" posts on Facebook?  I have a friend that posted he was engaged exactly 3 days before he got married, so it got it all in one fell swoop.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ohhh I love this game, Narwhal!

    Okay, my bet is that they are "engaged" but don't have a wedding planned or set at all because FI/BF won't jump on that part of it. I say that because of the girl's last comment about marriage... although that strikes me as odd. Doesn't it take two to get married?

    Or maybe they're not doing a "typical" engagement? Maybe the ring she has now is a promise ring until they get married, in which case he needs to propose to her with a wedding date? I feel like this option is too far fetched.
  • Hazel_BHazel_B member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Up until "that's your son's job, not mine" I thought they were engaged,

    Hmmm, maybe they are "unofficially engaged"? lol

    There definitely seems like something is missing here.
  • breezerbbreezerb member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm going to say they are not engaged by the "that's your son's job not mine"

    I think they are super serious, just waiting for a proposal... maybe a promise ring?
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers

    *No pony, no I do!*
  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I say no. Just to be contrary.
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  • motoLynmotoLyn member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would lean towards engaged, not everyone remembers to change their status on FB.  One of my girl friends has single as her status even though her and her BF have been dating for like 3 years.  
  • edited December 2011

    I vote pregnant.

    Actually, I agree with Ana. It might be a promise ring but FMIL thinks it's more(?) When FI bought my promise ring, my grandma swore up and down it was an engagement ring and we were getting married ASAP. It might be that sort of situation.

    imageimageimageimage
  • edited December 2011
    New developments:

    She has a picture of the ring on FB.  It definitely LOOKS like an engagement ring, but she called it "her one year gift."
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Her "One Year Gift" sounds like a promise ring which FMIL wants to be an engagement ring.

    My friend got a nice ring as a gift that she wears on her left hand - but it's a pearl (with diamond accents), and she swears that makes it obvious that it's not an engagement ring since it doesn't have a big diamond.  Um... sure... I bet a bunch of girls with sapphire or emerald or pearl engagement rings would disagree!
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  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think she's trying to vex you. Or she's engaged and trying to drum interest. She will then be cranky when they announce their engagement, and act like no one cares.
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  • edited December 2011



    nicest promise ring ever
    Anniversary
  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Did she promise her maiden head to him? WHAT DID SHE PROMISE?
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  • HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I definitely say that they're engaged. Why don't you just ask? Is it because you don't really talk to her?
    "Why does a girl have to be so silly to catch a husband?" ~~~Scarlett O'Hara Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engaged-not-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0ce2e140-1d59-4749-9fe6-a3a34d1aed42Post:fcdc05da-ce8d-450b-b81c-bf352847a647">Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I definitely say that they're engaged. Why don't you just ask? Is it because you don't really talk to her?
    Posted by HeartOverMind[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yeah, I haven't talked to her in years.  We're just facebook friends.</div>
    Anniversary
  • HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engaged-not-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0ce2e140-1d59-4749-9fe6-a3a34d1aed42Post:56a13c80-a5da-481d-ad39-844270271eb0">Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!</a>:
    [QUOTE]nicest promise ring ever
    Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

    Yeah. Unless her BF is loaded and that's just a promise ring, I'd really say they're engaged!
    "Why does a girl have to be so silly to catch a husband?" ~~~Scarlett O'Hara Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engaged-not-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0ce2e140-1d59-4749-9fe6-a3a34d1aed42Post:82a6b512-58f5-4426-a77b-a0eb86b330a0">Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide! : Yeah, I haven't talked to her in years.  We're just facebook friends.
    Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

    Post a comment and ask her if they've set a date yet. She might think your crazy but you don't talk to her so who cares, LOL.
    imageimageimageimage
  • edited December 2011
    like catemeg, I was thinking maybe it's a promise ring. Based on her comments, I don't think they're engaged, especially the part about "that's your son's job not mine." Obviously they would set a date together, but he would need to propose first, hence the "that's your son's job" bit. At least that's my thought.
  • edited December 2011
    Maybe I'm taking this way too literally, but it really is the guy's job to put the wedding band on her finger. Like, during the ceremony. Also, the FMIL said "band" and not "ring" which makes me think of a wedding ring.
  • edited December 2011
    Well, I think it's a promise ring type thingy that her FMIL (?) wants to be an engagement ring, because some FMILs are pushy like that.

    Also, why did she take the pic of her ring over her thighs??? Weirdo.

    Here's a pic of my promise ring. I think it's a pretty decent-sized ring. It's the same size as my cousin's engagement ring, actually. I felt embarrassed about that.




    So, it totally COULD be a promise ring.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    I'd say they are engaged based on the FMIL stating that they better "hurry up and set and date and put a band on it".  Band leads me to think wedding band as I don't ever recall someone calling an e-ring an engagement band.  Also setting a date is not something that is typically done until after you're engaged (unless your BSC of course).

    I'd comment on the pic and say "Wow, what a nice anniversary gift... he sure is setting the bar high for future anniversaries!" and see if she fesses up that it is infact an engagement ring then.

    Another thought is that if this was just posted then maybe she's waiting to tell certain people before announcing it and/or changing her relationship status on fb... but then I think posting a picture was pretty stupid.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engaged-not-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0ce2e140-1d59-4749-9fe6-a3a34d1aed42Post:b4a55a26-0163-4641-ad38-d0683240b540">Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I think it's a promise ring type thingy that her FMIL (?) wants to be an engagement ring, because some FMILs are pushy like that. <strong>Also, why did she take the pic of her ring over her thighs??? Weirdo.</strong>Here's a pic of my promise ring. I think it's a pretty decent-sized ring. It's the same size as my cousin's engagement ring, actually. I felt embarrassed about that. So, it totally COULD be a promise ring.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    I was wondering the exact same thing. It reminded me of this photo

    <a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/12/b4b9952c-7674-4859-8c80-8b97ef95b963.large.bmp" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', 'b4b9952c-7674-4859-8c80-8b97ef95b963', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"><img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/4/12/b4b9952c-7674-4859-8c80-8b97ef95b963.medium.bmp" alt="" /></a>

    My cousins promise ring looks similar to hers and my promise ring is almost exactly like someone's engagement ring on this board so I wouldn't judge the engaged or not based on the ring itself.
    imageimageimageimage
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engaged-not-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0ce2e140-1d59-4749-9fe6-a3a34d1aed42Post:b4a55a26-0163-4641-ad38-d0683240b540">Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I think it's a promise ring type thingy that her FMIL (?) wants to be an engagement ring, because some FMILs are pushy like that. Also, why did she take the pic of her ring over her thighs??? Weirdo. Here's a pic of my promise ring. I think it's a pretty decent-sized ring. It's the same size as my cousin's engagement ring, actually. I felt embarrassed about that. So, it totally COULD be a promise ring.
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    Jeana, I'm going to need a picture of that promise ring over your thighs to make an accurate assesment.... haha!

    I completely agree about the size having nothing to do with whether it is a promise or engagement ring... one of the guys that I work with recently gave his GF a nearly half karat diamond ring as a promise ring. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Nah, it wasn't just posted. The picture is all the way from May.
    Anniversary
  • breezerbbreezerb member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm going to stick with the large promise ring theory... I don't think they're engaged... I think you have a case of a pushy FMIL (when in reality she should be pushing her son if anything) and an impatient bride wannabe
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers

    *No pony, no I do!*
  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engaged-not-decide?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0ce2e140-1d59-4749-9fe6-a3a34d1aed42Post:07be41da-9102-4f39-8f09-1ea8af179f79">Re: ENGAGED OR NOT?! You decide!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm going to stick with the <strong>large promise ring</strong> theory... I don't think they're engaged... I think you have a case of a <strong>pushy FMIL</strong> (when in reality she should be pushing her son if anything) and an<strong> impatient bride wannabe</strong>
    Posted by breezerb[/QUOTE]

    Definitely. I like the ring though, I think it's pretty. I feel like the FMIL and bride wannabe should be in cahoots.
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