Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Not Engaged Yet
Not Engaged Yet
New Discussion

The BF caught me off-guard

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
500 Comments Third Anniversary
in Not Engaged Yet
It's been about a month since I hounded the BF about getting engaged.  We are sooooooooooooo much happier now that I got over my little engagement tantrum.

That being said, it really surprised me this past weekend when my BF called and told me that he asked one of his friends to be a groomsman in our wedding.  Even in my insane thoughts of engagement obsession I never picked out bridesmaids, let alone asked them. 

He talked to his new groomsman about our wedding and marrying me and was very proud when he told me about it.  He was also excited about someday buying a house with me.

I am still very dumbfounded by this.  He has talked about wanting to marry me, but never anything like this, with details.  It didn't get me excited about a potential proposal, just shocked the poo out of me. 

Has anyone else had a strange BF occurence like this?
Report Reply to Post

Re: The BF caught me off-guard

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    My BF knows who his groomsmen will probably be because he has a very tight group of friends but he would never do anything like that. Honestly I think its really weird that your BF did that.


    Report Reply
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    It's exciting, and definitely means he's thinking about getting married.  But the first person he needs to ask is you!  If my BF did that, I'd definitely be a little confused, and would probably joke around and go, "Oh, that's so awesome that you have a groomsman!  And who are you marrying?  This is news to me!"

    I don't think it's a huge deal in the scheme of things, and as I doubt he stalks The Knot or any other wedding information (tell him to check out ThePlunge - it's the funny guy's version), he probably doesn't know that it's just "not done" to invite groomsmen before you're engaged.  That said, guys typically have less drama in their friendships than girls, so chances are they'll still be friends by the time you get married.  Still, you should gently tell him that the next person he invites to participate in his future wedding should probably be the bride, since as of right now he's not planning a wedding at all.

    image

    Anniversary

    Report Reply
  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-caught-off-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:102beedb-bd9f-4300-a34c-4ca895a1b5fePost:da68b6c7-4bfb-4776-a6f1-cc593f304f12">Re: The BF caught me off-guard</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's exciting, and definitely means he's thinking about getting married.  But the first person he needs to ask is you!  If my BF did that, I'd definitely be a little confused, and would probably joke around and go, "Oh, that's so awesome that you have a groomsman!  And who are you marrying?  This is news to me!" I don't think it's a huge deal in the scheme of things, and as I doubt he stalks The Knot or any other wedding information (tell him to check out ThePlunge - it's the funny guy's version), he probably doesn't know that it's just "not done" to invite groomsmen before you're engaged.  That said, guys typically have less drama in their friendships than girls, so chances are they'll still be friends by the time you get married.  <strong>Still, you should gently tell him that the next person he invites to participate in his future wedding should probably be the bride, since as of right now he's not planning a wedding at all.
    </strong>Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    Yepp, this exactly. I mean, I guess what's done is done, but that is odd.
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    My suggestion is not to ask anyone to be in your WP... and tell him to do the same...  I'd explain to him that until you're engaged and have begun planning, it's a bad idea to be asking people to be in the wedding party... things change...  All my life I thought that my BFF would be my Maid of Honor... she assumes the same... If I were to get married tomorrow, she'd be in for a VERY rude awakening...

    Also, don't get too excited, my BF asked me who I'd want to be in our WP randomly over the summer... It's January and we're not even close to engaged... 

    Report Reply
  • bsidebellabsidebella
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-caught-off-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:102beedb-bd9f-4300-a34c-4ca895a1b5fePost:69e29aaa-0494-46b6-be15-624416a73f73">Re: The BF caught me off-guard</a>:
    [QUOTE]My suggestion is not to ask anyone to be in your WP... and tell him to do the same...  I'd explain to him that <strong>until you're engaged and have begun planning, it's a bad idea to be asking people to be in the wedding party... things change...  All my life I thought that my BFF would be my Maid of Honor... she assumes the same... If I were to get married tomorrow, she'd be in for a VERY rude awakening...</strong> Also, don't get too excited, my BF asked me who I'd want to be in our WP randomly over the summer... It's January and we're not even close to engaged... 
    Posted by LyzMcFlyz[/QUOTE]

    Hahaha this reminds me of a situation I'm in right now.

    image 170 Invited (holy crap!)

    image 98 are coming to party!

    image 29 have other plans

    image 43 need to respond!

    Daisypath Wedding tickers

    "Bside - You're just too sexy for your own good" ~ leia1979

    "True love = I still love you even though we hang out all the time and most other people would be tired of each other already" ~ flygirlmeg
    Report Reply
  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011

    We took a short road trip this weekend, and BF starts out a converstion with: "I still want to get married in September like we talked about."

    This is what he said to break the silence, while I was doing a crossword puzzle on my Kindle.  *headscratch*

    In his defense, the bartender at our favorite watering hole was aggrvating him the night before about us not being engaged. 

    I told him I didn't want to pressure him, but it's mid-January, and I'm not planning without being engaged, so we may not be able to make that happen.

    Just explain to him the whole cart-horses thing. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wrkn, you can do crosswords on Kindles?
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I am definitely not worried about who he chooses. He has two best friends, one of which being the one he asked. Calindi, I didn't know there was a guy version of the Knot! That's too funny. I should tell him about it because I had to explain how the engagement ring and wedding band thing works....multiple times. I would like to be the next person invited to his wedding, but hopefully closer to July because that is when our LDR ends. I don't want to have too much of a LDE. Wrkn, that is definitely a weird way to break up silence. Boys can be so bizarre sometimes. Lyz, I'm not excited about a proposal, just a little weirded out by BFs new decision. I'm mostly not excited about a proposal because we are in a LDR and it would be sad to be engaged all by my lonesome :(
    Report Reply
  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-caught-off-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:102beedb-bd9f-4300-a34c-4ca895a1b5fePost:fb87ef3c-0eb8-48cf-8b87-cbd2986828e2">Re: The BF caught me off-guard</a>:
    [QUOTE]Wrkn, you can do crosswords on Kindles?
    Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

    Yup.  There's NY Times ones you can buy.

    ETA: There's all kinds of games.  I have a couple of word games and Blackjack.  I"m putting off buying scrabble.  I love the games, but they keep me from reading.  I'm still not far in to TGWTDT.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    Report Reply
  • bsidebellabsidebella
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Oh man. I just checked out ThePlunge! I can't wait to link my FI to it. He signed up for WeddingWire because he thought TK was too girly, but he still feels weird logging on! I bet he'll really appreciate seeing a guy-friendly wedding site. 

    image 170 Invited (holy crap!)

    image 98 are coming to party!

    image 29 have other plans

    image 43 need to respond!

    Daisypath Wedding tickers

    "Bside - You're just too sexy for your own good" ~ leia1979

    "True love = I still love you even though we hang out all the time and most other people would be tired of each other already" ~ flygirlmeg
    Report Reply
  • SeaTea02SeaTea02
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Send him over to us, we will take good care of him and talk some since into him!

    But seriously, it isn't fair of him to do that when the engagement is contingent on him asking YOU. It could be getting your hopes up. Talk to him.

    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • leia1979leia1979 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    That is definitely weird. We didn't ask anyone to be in the bridal party until after we had a venue and date.

    FI was doing the cart before the horse thing a bit by continuing to scope out venues before we were engaged. I finally gave him my best NEY cart-horse lecture, and then he stopped. (Of course we got engaged pretty soon after that.)

    image

    I haz a planning bio
    Report Reply
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    You guys are making me wonder if he will attempt to have any other pre-planning conversations with me. I will definitely pull the cart-horse card on him. Silly boy.
    Report Reply
  • jilld82jilld82
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bf-caught-off-guard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:102beedb-bd9f-4300-a34c-4ca895a1b5fePost:2f5e27d9-a64b-4fbb-a4ca-4e90615d8745">Re: The BF caught me off-guard</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh man. I just checked out ThePlunge! I can't wait to link my FI to it. He signed up for WeddingWire because he thought TK was too girly, but he still feels weird logging on! I bet he'll really appreciate seeing a guy-friendly wedding site. 
    Posted by bsidebella[/QUOTE]

    I just sent my fiance over, he's going to love it.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    282image Invited to celebrate!
    208image Will be Dancing the night away!
    74image Won't be having any fun
    0image are giving me a major headache

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards