My Boyfriend Won't Propose-am I being Selfish?

MartiniChick01

I'm new to this board, so forgive me if I sound stupid.My boyfriend of 1 yr STILL has not proposed.  We have talked about getting married, but we never talk about rings or the romantic way in which he will ask me to be his wife.  We do not live together.He is looking for a house and wants my input, so I'm assuming it will be for all 3 of us.  But I REALLY, REALLY want a ring.  I want it before the end of 2009!  Preferrably before the holidays so I can show it off to my cousins and make them jealous.How do I get him to propose to me in a very romantic way?  I've waited ALL my LIFE for this moment and I want it to happen and be VERY romantic.  You know, down on one knee in front of people at a restaurant or somewhere public.  Our song playing in the background, people cheering for us, etc.Is it selfish of me to want a ring and a romantic proposal instead of him buying a house? I feel like our love is more important than a house.Thank you.

harbor_girl

this isn't even good MUD

mermadison

::pokepoke:: It's ok girls, it's not real. Whew! Close one!

notquiteblushing

First of all, way to think no one would remember you from two friggen weeks ago.  The sad thing is I get a vibe from you that this MUD is based on truth.

MartiniChick01

What do you mean?

MartiniChick01

I don't believe I've ever posted on this board before, so how could you possibly 'remember' me from 2 wks ago if I wasn't here?

notquiteblushing

I know you were in the thread where mag was talking about someone over here and I think you posted here as well.  Whatever we know who you are.

MartiniChick01

Just because I post on the nest sometimes doesn't mean that I can't ask legitimate questions over here.  Afterall, you were on the nest posting even though you're generally a knottie.

notquiteblushing

Well has your situation changed on the Nest since you were hoping to get re-engaged?  How's that working out?  My advice for you is to start acting suspicious like maybe you were planning on receiving a large cash settlement or having an affair.  He'll be too paranoid not to respond.  Also buy some Hugh Grant DVDs.  HTH

saisongbird

Ok, so you've been together a year? Chill. We were together FOUR years before I told him I wasn't going to wait much longer. And we were together for over four and a half years before he proposed. You sound like you want a wedding, not a marriage. In which case you're NOT ready to get married. You want a big flashy proposal? I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you get NO say in HOW the proposal happens. He gets to make that call, not you. We've all waited all of our lives for it and we get no say. I thought I wanted to have dinner in the city and see a broadway show and he'd do it there because I love theatre. He ended up proposing while we were unpacking groceries. Did it make it any less romantic? No, because it was and always will be OUR moment between the two of us. To me, it sounds like you're more about the flash than the substance. Are you going to say no if it's not the kind of ring you want? Think about your priorities - I don't mean to sound like a b*tch, but go back and re-read your original post with some perspective. And yes, it IS selfish to want a ring instead of a house. The house says that he's trying to take care of you. Whining for a ring says that you care more about yourself than your relationship.

kikibaby

OMG!!11!1 A whole year??  Dump him.

tiiiffffff

Blackmail or threats. Probably more efficient if aimed towards his family.

ericswifey

The way I see it, you really only have two options.1) life or ring ultimatum.Tell him he can spend forever with you, or forever in a grave. Give that about a week to stew in his little non-committing brain (I mean, c'mon who doesn't propose after a whole YEAR?!1!!), then buy the gun. If he doesn't get down on one knee within three days after gun purchase, shoot him in the foot. Tell him that's a warning and he has 7 days to make this right.2) plan a surprise Christmas ice-rink wedding.Does this really need an explanation? Oh, and the wedding cake should be chicken shaped, naturally.**disclaimer: I don't actually condone shooting people in the foot or anywhere else.

PandaBurr

Not that this post wasn't transparent, but if you're going to be a troll, at least be consistent. When you have two posts that contradict, it kinda ruins it. From: MartiniChick01 Date: 2/23/2009 at 1:27 PM You don't think it sounds sad and pathetic to whine and cry about not getting a dream proposal?

dreamingblue

Wow, you guys are harsh. lolI you all.

Acrosthec

Just in case this is even in some basis real...I'm new to this board, so forgive me if I sound stupid.Doubtful that'll happen.My boyfriend of 1 yr STILL has not proposed. We have talked about getting married, but we never talk about rings or the romantic way in which he will ask me to be his wife. We do not live together.My BF has had my ring longer than you've been dating.  Chill out.  Learn to communicate.He is looking for a house and wants my input, so I'm assuming it will be for all 3 of us. But I REALLY, REALLY want a ring. I want it before the end of 2009! Preferrably before the holidays so I can show it off to my cousins and make them jealous.Seriously?  I want to shake you severely.How do I get him to propose to me in a very romantic way? I've waited ALL my LIFE for this moment and I want it to happen and be VERY romantic. You know, down on one knee in front of people at a restaurant or somewhere public. Our song playing in the background, people cheering for us, etc.How he wants to propose to you is not something you can control.  You can tell him what you'd prefer (in public, in private, etc.) but you can't control it.  Deal with it.Is it selfish of me to want a ring and a romantic proposal instead of him buying a house? I feel like our love is more important than a house.Yes, it's selfish.  Get over yourself.  A house is more important than a ring, and a ring is not the equivalent of love.Thank you.You are so not welcome, and I hope to God you aren't real.

Acrosthec

Somehow I didn't respond to this:He is looking for a house and wants my input, so I'm assuming it will be for all 3 of us.Is your upcoming ring a person now?  Or do you have a child?  An animal?  I'm confused by your MUD.

cocitygirl

She's a regular on TIP on the Nest.  Knew that sig looked familiar.

AnneAndJJ

I personally believe that ericswifey's second option is probably your best bet! I mean really, a surprise wedding on an ice rink is sure to please all involved. Good luck, and enjoy your special day!

salt78

Two words for you. Blow. Job.

noelle24

Lock him in a basement and tell him to buy you a ring or he'll get the hose again. HTH!

oceana919

Give him an ultimatum - no ring, no sexy time. A man can only go so long without a BJ until he breaks down and goes to Tiffany's.Planning a surprise engagement party (at an icerink)(on Christmas Day) and then letting him know it's an engagement party after he's there could also work. After all, he has to propose to you by the end of the party, right?!?If all else fails, *forget* to take your birth control for about 3-4 days. That should do the trick.As for the house, don't worry about it. I mean, after all, who needs a house if you have a big shiny ring?!? The way that sunlight shines through a holey cardboard box on the corner of 5th and Prospect will make that sucker sparkle!

gurneygrrl

Well Martini, it's good that you came here first.  You will always find someone who will offer you advice in a nonjudgemental fashion on internet message boards.  As for the posters who replied with threatening him with some sort of violence, that is ridiculous.  This is the man you love, you do not harm him.  Some ladies on here have found it very helpful in speeding up the engagement process if they simply get pregnant.  Good luck! 

salt78

[i]Some ladies on here have found it very helpful in speeding up the engagement process if they simply get pregnant.[/i] I love you.

my2geldings

Well this is by far the funniest thread I have read. Thanks for the giggle ladies. Turned my very boring shift at work into an amusing one.

oceana919

Oh, she's sooooooooooo trolling... Straight from the "students" board:Hi. I'm a junior in high school and I'm 4 mos pregnant. My FI is 23 and works really hard in construction. Right now we are both living with my parents in their basement 'apartment'. We want to save money for the wedding and the baby. We're getting married when I graduate from HS in 2011 (crossing my fingers that I have someone to watch our baby so I can finish HS). My mom might let me get married sooner (I'm only 15 as of right now) so me and the baby can be on FI's insurance because I don't want to have to get government assistance. I want to have a Disney/Cinderella theme for my wedding. I am going to have a dress just like Cinderella and our baby (it's a girl!) is going to be Tinkerbell. FI will be Prince Charming, of course! I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!Umm.....if on the off chance this is for real and wasn't reeking of troll-ism, doesn't this entire situation constitute statuatory rape in most states?

noelle24

Wow. Just wow. Talk about subtle.

Acrosthec

Indeed, Oceana.  In most states, her "FI" is going to prison.  Congrats, Martini!

oceana919

The whole thread is trollilicious: http://talk.theknot.com/boards/main_frame.aspx?page=ShowForum.aspx?ForumID=684

oceana919

Straight from Wikipedia:While the phrase age of consent typically does not appear in legal statutes,[1] when used in relation to sexual activity, the age of consent is the minimum age at which a person is considered to be legally competent of consenting to sexual acts. Charges resulting from a breach of these laws may range from a relatively low-level misdemeanor such as corruption of a minor, to statutory rape (which is considered equivalent to rape, both in severity and sentencing).Each US state has its own age of consent. Currently state laws set the age of consent at 16, 17 or 18. The most common age is 16.[9] age of consent 16: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Georgia, Hawaii, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Vermont, Washington, West Virginia age of consent 17: Colorado, Illinois, Louisiana, Missouri, Nebraska, New York, Texas age of consent 18: Arizona, California, Delaware, Florida, Idaho, North Dakota, Oregon, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming.

notquiteblushing

Yeah just ignore her, she's looking to stir up some drama.