Advice

notquiteblushing

Hold on.  I'll try to send you a private message.

notquiteblushing

Ok sent.  Do you know how to check messages? I think this link might work: http://community.theknot.com/cs/ks/friends/Messages.aspx

desertsun

NQB, Noelle, would someone like to let me in on what you're talking about? Pretty please?

notquiteblushing

Yes hold on we have to be mutual friends first for some reason.  So check your "pending friends."  There's really no good way to get there but I think that link above may do it as well.

Acrosthec

First rule of boredom on the Knot:  Google screennames.  Unless you're a crazy person that's actually going to use the information to cause harm to someone.  Then you need to be locked up somewhere.

notquiteblushing

Crap I only have 90 minutes to make my football picks now.  Offer advice if you have any!

desertsun

My favorite part of EMarie's latest response was the sarcastic apologies. So passive/aggressive. Really shows the maturity, right? I luuuuurrrve that her friend came on and attacked people for her, too.This is really making my work day more enjoyable! (I'm on the boring desk job bandwagon, too. Damn me for being an adult who already finished college.)

Acrosthec

Weird.  I had no idea The Knot even had PM capabilities.

notquiteblushing

They are seriously lacking but they exist.

notquiteblushing

Agreed.  Sometimes it's easy to let things get out of hand but it's hard when you try to help someone and they just get mad at you. 

Acrosthec

I solemnly swear (I am up to no good) I will kick Jeana's @ss if she ever needs it. 

jeanacorina

Pshh, I'll totally get mad at you for trying to help, but then I'll go think about it for a day and realize you're right.Sometimes you need a fresh, outside point of view to hold a mirror up to yourself and figure out what's really wrong.

Acrosthec

And I agree with the sentiments.  It *is* hard.  I know I've been there.  The guy I dated for three years in college once told me if he were to die right then, the only thing he would regret was not getting the chance to marry me.  I think at the time he truly meant it.  We were not an on again off again couple.  We were abstinent, even though we lived together.My parents didn't like him.  The entire time we were together they were worried I was going to marry him. They swore up and down that he was just using me because he didn't have a car and he didn't have money to pay for an apartment so he lived with me, and he said all those nice things so I wouldn't break up with him.  I cried and told them they were being ridiculous; that we were in love and going to get married, and that was the end of it.Now, 5 years later, here I am, without him.  And I'm fairly certain that neither of us regret not getting married.  Sometimes people with objective viewpoints can let you in on details of your life that you are desperately trying not to see.  I'm not saying that's the case with OP, I'm just saying that if mom is really going crazy, she may have a legitimate worry that the OP needs to discuss with her.

magsugar13

Mags – you also need to grow up. Are you sure you’re mature enough to get married? She never once said that she thought love would keep all the negative away. Well,  I am certainly mature enough to know how far your head is up your arse and how young you are by your response. I don't know how the girls here will continue to go on knowing that such a mature 19 year old exisit. (LMAO) I am sure you have been through it all, seen the world and experienced all iot has to offer. Oh, and  let me guess none of us here could understand how you've been so independent and made it all on your own at the ripe old age of 19. Come on vback and visit TIP when you are getting a divorce at 25!

EMarie777

I cannot believe how ridiculously this is getting out of hand. So you googled my screen name so that you could go through the rest of my life? That's really nice. And then dragging the rest of my past relationships through the knot boards is very mature also. I can't believe someone would stoop that low to...I don't even know what. Get back at me? Try and hurt my feelings? And I can tell some of my more sincere posts were not even read thoroughly because people are still asking if living on campus and being married is allowed. There is a married RA couple in my area. And yes, the upperclassmen housing at my school is wonderful!

atomkinson

I don't recall saying I know everything?? You must be able to read minds. As for the cute divorce remark, would you like to have a conversation with my parents and grandparents? My grandparents married when my grandmother was 18, 6 children and 57 years later, they are still married and say they love each other every day. My parents started dating in high school, engaged at 19, married at 21. Two children and 22 years later they are still very happily married. I wasn't aware that love had an age requirement.

notquiteblushing

There should just be a sticky at the top of this board that says: If you're 19 it's not going to work out. If you have set a date, you're engaged. No, we don't know you and we feel sorry for our FIs too. Pick a different screename, I found your Twitter.

jeanacorina

I was engaged at 19 as well.... to a guy I dated for 4 years. Who said he loved me so much and could not imagine life without me.My parents HATED him. When I told my mom I was engaged, she said "Whatever, it won't last."I was so angry. I moved out of my parents house and didn't speak to them for months. I was hell-bent on doing things my way.It didn't last. Mom was right. As much as it hurt my pride, the guy was not the right one for me. I just wouldn't listen to my friends, my parents, or anyone else. I thought I was an adult and knew myself and knew what the best decision was.Now I'm 26, engaged to the RIGHT guy, and my mom's reaction was "OH MY GOSH! You're getting MARRIED! Tell Josh we love him and welcome to the family!"I'm still stubborn, but not naive and immature. I am so glad I didn't rush things any more than I already did when I was younger. It would have been a disaster. I'd either be divorced or very unhappy in my marriage. That guy really WAS taking advantage of me and really WAS no good for me.Good grief, I am SO INCREDIBLY LUCKY that I left when I did, as hard as it was at the time.

notquiteblushing

Wow you both came back at the exact same time?  Win!

jeanacorina

Man this board is hoppin'.NQB I agree about the stickies.

atomkinson

Jeana, I really don't care about what happened when you were 19. Its completely irrelevant to my situation. My parents happen to love my fiance and his parents love me. I get that you're trying to sound all wise and mature because you're an "older bride" but seriously. enough with the stories of your life. Your failed engagement is on you. not me. I will be getting married. If I had never said I was 19, you would have nothing to say. Its not as if I'm getting married next year. I'll be 22 when I'm married.

atomkinson

And I don't have a twitter so you're creeping on the wrong person. Don't bother searching the atomkinson. Because first of all thats not my last name and this is the only site I've ever used this screenname on.

notquiteblushing

Just to clarify, jeana's engagement at 19 is not relevant but your parent's engagement at 19 is?

notquiteblushing

OMG jeana you're an older bride!  I have died laughing.

atomkinson

Jeana's engagement at 19 is not relevant because she is only mentioning it to make my engagment look pointless. My parents engagement is relevant because I was proving that a young engagement is not doomed.

EMarie777

Just to clarify....It's not okay that me and athomkinson to reply to something at the same time, but you all can do it? Okay then we lose. Whatever.

notquiteblushing

Maybe you're used to people telling you that getting engaged at 19 is a bad idea so you read jeana's comment with that in mind but she told that story to point out how much she wouldn't have listened to us either when she was that age and how lucky she was that she didn't get married.  You know, trying to help you out.

Acrosthec

Can we avoid the "young engagements never work" thing?  We've beat that horse silly on this board numerous times.  Everyone knows people that it worked out for, and everyone knows people that it didn't.  Truly speaking, neither scenario is relevant to any other scenario.  Statistically, the odds shown are not in favor of young marriages, but to each their own.  This is totally dependent on the couple.

notquiteblushing

Emarie I was simply pointing out the coincedence that you both posted at the same time.  Let's make up.  This is silly.  I'm sure your marriages will be awesome.

jeanacorina

Jeana's engagement at 19 is not relevant because she is only mentioning it to make my engagment look pointless. Uhh, I was totally not even talking to you. At all. You weren't even on my mind. I forgot you existed.I was talking in general about being 19, and how my mother reacted (as OP was first talking about) and making the point that I didn't listen to the sound advice given to me back then. I didn't know any better and I was hot-headed and full of pride. Acro's post reminded me of that, as well as our conversation about how sometimes you need a kick in the pants.Nothing at all to do with you. I know nothing about your relationship, and I'm not the one who said you'll get divorced. That was Mags. Go talk about me on other forums.