Etiquette Question

Malakia02

Matt and I were invited to a party hosted by a close friend.  We baked a pumpkin cheesecake for the event and it was a hit, though we had quite a lot leftover.  We ended up having to leave a little earlier than expected, but this is the conversation we had with the host right before we left:Host: Hey guys thanks for the cheesecake.  If you want to take a piece home with you go ahead.Me: Uhm- thanks?Matt: No dude we are just going to take the rest of it home with us. *awkward standoff*We ended up taking the rest of the cheesecake home.  What do you guys think of this situation?  I mean technically we did bake the stupid thing specifically for the party and normally we leave extra food for the host as thanks. On the otherhand, the host rubbed us the wrong way with how he was "allowing" us to take a piece of cheesecake home.  Overall it is not a big deal, the host has been one of our closest friends for years so something like this is more like siblings bickering than an actual problem. Just thought it made a good topic for discussion. Pumpkin cheesecake recipe listed below!2 cups of fresh cooked pumpkin (see this page to make your own from a fresh pumpkin) OR 1 can of commercial canned pumpkin (about 12 ounces) 3 packages (8 ounces each) of cream cheese, at room temperature (I used the fat free cream cheese and it tasted GREAT, even my junk-food junkie friends raved about it)2 cup sugar (or 2 cups Splenda; or 1 cup of each)1 teaspoon vanilla extract7 eggs A graham cracker pie crust in a 10 inch diameter, 3 inch deep springform cheesecake pan or in two 9-inch deep-dish pie plates, unbaked (make your own crust, easy and much better than store bought - click here for directions!)dash salt2 teaspoon ground cinnamon*1/2 teaspoon ground ginger*1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg*  (or substitute 3 teaspoons of pumpkin pie spice for these spices)2 cups evaporated milk (I use fat-free) Pumpkin Cheesecake Recipe Preheat oven to 350 F  (175 C). Make a graham cracker crust in one springform cheesecake pan (10 inch diameter, 3 inches deep) OR in two 9 inch deep pie dishes (see this page for instructions - or use a purchased deep dish graham cracker crust) Cream Cheese Layer: In a mixing bowl, combine the 3 packages of cream cheese, 1 cup of sugar, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract - mix well! Beat in 4 eggs; (either beat them separately, or directly with the other inredients) Pour the mixture in the pie crust. Pumpkin Layer: In a large bowl, mix the pumpkin, 1 cup of sugar, a dash of salt, 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger and 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg  (or, instead of these spices, separately; just 3 teaspoons of pumpkin pie spice). Light beat 3 eggs and blend them in. Mix in the 2 cups of evaporated milk. Pour the pumpkin mixture over cream cream cheese layer that is already in the pie crust.  Neither stir it in, nor worry about floating it on top.  Just gently pour it in. Bake the pumpkin pie in the oven at 350° for about an 70 minutes; possibly another 10 minutes (until it has firmed up).  The cream cheese layer will bubble up to the surface some; that's fine; it gives it the characteristic appearance. Cool the pumpkin pie and refrigerate it!  It won't really firm up unless you refrigerate it

Amberjg

Was it in your dish? because if it was then you couldve just said we want to take our dish home... and i think its rude that he was trying to tell you what to do with your cheesecake! lol

jeanacorina

Eh, I have mixed feelings about it. He shouldn't have told you you COULD take a piece (it was your dang pie, and that's kinda rude)... however I think the POLITE thing to do is to leave it at the party, since it's KIND OF a gift. To share. I dunno.That's a very wonky etiquette situation.By the way, nice recipe!

MidniteRae

In some customs , especially with alcohol, you leave what you bring at the host's house. If it was in your dish, you could have said you wanted to bring your dish home.

desertsun

I am SUPER impressed with your recipe with photos! Daaaamn.As to the etiquette question: I think the polite thing to do whenever you bring something, whether it's to a friend's house for dinner together, to a work potluck, or to a party, is to leave it. I think your host was just trying to be considerate of the fact that you obviously put a lot of effort in by making sure you knew he wouldn't think it was rude if you brought some home with you. Sounds to me like he was trying to be nice, even if it came off a little condescending.

AnneAndJJ

Generally, I'd say leave it, that's the polite thing to do (and then get your dish back later). However, since the host felt the need to give you permission to take 'a piece', I too would have been spiteful and taken the whole damn pie! PS The recipe looks amazing! I might make it to take to my Mom and Dad's tomorrow night, actually. Too bad BF doesn't like pumpkin pie..or cheese cake (2 of my favourite deserts).

notquiteblushing

Yeah I usually leave stuff there but that's weird they told you to take a piece when you made the whole thing from scratch for them.  I usually skirt this rule when I have friends over by telling them to take their stuff with them.  Leftovers are too tempting for me!

TheDuckis

It's incredibly rude to take your leftovers home with you. The appropriate responses in that situation were either "No, it's yours. We'll pick up the pan the next time we see you," or "A piece would be nice. Thanks." Whether or not the host was rude has no bearing on the fact that you were rude.

Goldlie11

You should have left the cheesecake. I understand that some pans are quite expensive. Also, you might need that pan very soon. If so , you should have asked when it would be convenient to pick up the pan or transferred the leftovers to a plate so you could take the pan home. Although it's probably pretty hard to do with cheesecake, I try and make dishes for potlucks in the disposable pans that you find in the supermarket. This way you don't have to worry about getting the pan back.

katanne9

I do not think it was rude to take it home with you. It was ridiculously rude to think you were leaving it.I would have said, "I'm so glad you liked it, I'll make sure to leave some with you."I never expect my guests to leave their goodies with me as a thank you. Let me say this, if this isn't the type of visit you would have purchased/intentionally made a hostess gift for, you aren't obligated to leave your goods.

Goldlie11

I used to do potluck quite a bit. I've never heard of taking the rest with you. I have heard of taking a plate to go which includes many foods, including what you made.

Acrosthec

Yup I usually leave things unless the host tells me to take them all home. If it's in my pan and I need the pan the next day or something, I may ask if they have another container they want to put it in so I can take my pan home then, but I never ask to take what I brought.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I always leave things. It's like a gift to the host. You can always go back and get your dish at some other point. That's always how it's done in my family and circle - the host will wash the dish for you and return it in a timely manner.Looks good, though!