Not Engaged Yet

Welcome to NEY **STICKY ME**

Hi! Welcome to NEY!

We're happy you're here.

However, before posting on this board, LURK.

Read back a couple pages to get a feel for the board.

Also, please be aware that many of the posters on this board do NOT encourage planning a wedding before you consider yourself engaged.

What constitutes planning? Researching venues, vendors, or flowers. Picking colors, wedding party attire, or your wedding dress.

It's okay to spot something you like while idly browsing the knot ONCE IN A WHILE and bookmark it with the thought of "someday maybe." It's not okay to spend a large amount of your free time poring over, for example, flower arrangements, with the idea of "saving time later" by picking out exactly what you want NOW. See the difference?

There are a variety of common reasons regs cite as to why "pre-planning" is not a good idea:

-Because it doesn't make sense to plan an event that you don't yet absolutely positively know IS happening.

-Because no one needs a year to plan a wedding. No one. We really, REALLY don't like to hear "I'm a planner, so..."

-Because by skipping ahead, you're living in the future instead of the present. You're denying yourself a wonderful experience -- the excitement and anticipation of looking forward to something that will only happen once -- a proposal. Once it's over, it's over, and you can never look forward to it again. Enjoy it while you can.

-Also, consider that you're not giving your BF or his proposal their due by skipping ahead of them.

-The personal experience of many of the married posters on this board is that wedding planning WILL GET OLD and that you are better off saving your excitement and energy for when it comes time to pick a date and start booking venues and vendors.

That said, it's okay to be excited, eager, and  impatient sometimes and want to talk about it with people who understand. You can vent here. Just be prepared for people to be quite blunt when talking you down.

Lastly, only you and your BF can determine your relationship status. We cannot tell you whether you are or are not engaged. The general opinion on this board however is that you do NOT need a ring to be engaged; you merely need a mutual agreement between you and your BF that you're engaged and can proceed with wedding planning.

NEY regs are generally not malicious, but they are usually opinionated and honest (sometimes painfully so). However, if you can state a differing opinion with respect and maturity, diversity of perspectives is appreciated.

You're welcome to just start posting in threads, but it's also nice if you post an intro thread and tell us a little about yourself.

Again, welcome to NEY!
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Re: Welcome to NEY **STICKY ME**

  • edited December 2011
    Erupts into applause!
  • edited December 2011
    I love me some Desert.
  • motoLynmotoLyn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    This has the potential to save a lot of people from having a *face palm* moment!

    I am in awe of Desert!
  • edited December 2011
    ::teen movie slow clap::

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  • Beads921Beads921 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yay! Well said. I just want to point something out that has be confused, and either I don't get that point, or you mixed your words up:

    "Because by skipping ahead, you're living in the present instead of the future. You're denying yourself a wonderful experience -- the excitement and anticipation of looking forward to something that will only happen once -- a proposal. Once it's over, it's over, and you can never look forward to it again. Enjoy it while you can."

    Shouldn't it be "living in the future instead of the present"?
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sticky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:128c95be-9976-49d1-a6d1-259d34904720Post:81e4931e-955a-47ee-9b45-9d54bdb2d38c">Re: STICKY ME</a>:
    [QUOTE]I love me some Desert.
    Posted by Soon2BMrsJeter[/QUOTE]

    That's funny, I love ME some dessert!

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ooh, Beads, yes, thank you. I think it's fixed now. :)
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sticky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:128c95be-9976-49d1-a6d1-259d34904720Post:e60c9513-283a-4f6a-96b0-40178dddae50">Re: STICKY ME</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: STICKY ME : That's funny, I love ME some dessert!
    Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]

    Hah. I was thinking that as I was typing it. 
  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Sticky sticky sticky!
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
  • MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sticky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:128c95be-9976-49d1-a6d1-259d34904720Post:e07d8839-aed8-457a-973b-f5957162a5ae">Re: STICKY ME</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: STICKY ME : Hah. I was thinking that as I was typing it. 
    Posted by Soon2BMrsJeter[/QUOTE]

    Me too.
  • leia1979leia1979 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I also vote sticky. Well said, Desert.
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can sticky this. I do have no problem with that. I however do not believe that those who it applies to will read it. Judging by a number of posts, I don't think Jeana's original welcome post gets read nearly as often as it should.  Do you guys want this post instead of Jeana's original intro post. I don't know if we need two types of intro posts. Thoughts?
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  • edited December 2011
    Sigh.  Goes off to find whatever prompted this post....
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
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  • edited December 2011
    Sigh.  Goes off to find whatever prompted this post....
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
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  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ok, now how do you affix a flashing neon sign and make bazooka noises come out of the speakers so people will read it?
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    NQB, look for the "Wow..." thread.

    Loopster, I was kind of hoping you'd be like the Favors mod and just start responding to posts by saying "SEE THE DAMN STICKY."  And then start banning people for being BSC.

    No?

    Fine. *pouts*

    Wink

    I don't know if people read Jeana's post, but this one definitely makes the board dynamic a bit more clear. I don't know if you really need to sticky it, though. I just kinda needed to vent a bit. I've been feeling really frustrated lately feeling like I'm saying the same things over and over.

    Maybe at least if it was a sticky, I'd have a convenient place to go copy from to paste into newbie threads instead of having to type it all out again. :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think anyone will listen to it. They never do.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Alright new idea.

    When people post craziness EVERYONE should post the link to the sticky. Will that make a point?

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  • loopy82loopy82 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This may not have been the best solution, but I added what you wrote desert to the original welcome sticky.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sticky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:128c95be-9976-49d1-a6d1-259d34904720Post:e7df1cb8-1f8a-4963-b878-d07131dbe7f6">Re: Welcome to NEY **STICKY ME**</a>:
    [QUOTE]This may not have been the best solution, but I added what you wrote desert to the original welcome sticky.
    Posted by loopy82[/QUOTE]

    And there you go putting words in Jeana's mouth, Loopy ;)

    It's a really good post Desert, but I don't think more people will read it. SeaTea's right though, we can always just try linking it.
  • edited December 2011
    I think if anyone who wanted to put in their 2 cents did and they posted a link, and 15 other people all just posted the link, the point might get across... If not I will prob just C&P from the sticky because it is getting redundant to type that.

    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sticky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:128c95be-9976-49d1-a6d1-259d34904720Post:3dfbda44-b668-4fae-bedd-a3501fb4fe44">Re: Welcome to NEY **STICKY ME**</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Welcome to NEY **STICKY ME** : And there you go putting words in Jeana's mouth, Loopy ;)
    Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

    OMG LOOPY! WTF! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-surprised.gif" border="0" alt="Surprised" title="Surprised" />

    Just kidding.

    If it had to be someone's words... I'm glad they were Desert's. <3
    Anniversary
  • loopy82loopy82 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know, I know. I shouldn't try to force words into peoples' mouths. I just couldn't help myself.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sticky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:128c95be-9976-49d1-a6d1-259d34904720Post:b078ad3d-2d1c-496d-b655-d259ee1f7ffa">Re: Welcome to NEY **STICKY ME**</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Welcome to NEY **STICKY ME** : OMG LOOPY! WTF! Just kidding.<strong> If it had to be someone's words... I'm glad they were Desert's. <3</strong>
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    Aw, thanks, Jeana! <3
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  • Beads921Beads921 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Loopy, I was going to suggest you somehow add this to Jeanas, because I still like hers, and this adds to it, but we don't need 2 intro posts. So, I'm glad to hear you did. That is all.
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