Vent: Winter White

Ember01

Let me start by saying I absolutely adore and love my future in-laws... But I need to vent...

Let me give a little bit of a back story to begin... As soon as we announced our wedding date and our wedding colors, my FMIL has told me and my mom that she wants to wear green to the wedding. That is fine, I told them both that they could wear whatever color they wanted (they didn't have to stay with the wedding colors). My mom really wanted a silver dress, so she was okay with FMIL wearing green.

My mom bought a gorgeous a-line dress from the Jade Couture collection, and she will look stunning in it. FMIL wanted to see my mom's dress, so she could pick out something similar (long, evening gown, formal).

My mom, FMIL, and I went shopping yesterday for FMIL's MOG dress. It wasn't a planned trip, we got done at the bakery, and the store that my BMs got their dresses at is right around the corner, so we decided to stop in, so she could look at MOG dresses.

We are looking at dresses, and FMIL is looking at a dress that is essentially white, and asks if she can wear winter white to the wedding? I was so taken back that she asked to wear white to the wedding, I stood their speechless. When I didn't say anything, she said, well, it would be winter white. My mom spoke up, as I was fumbling to form a sentence, and said absolutely not!

Really?!? She asked to wear white to our wedding?! Sorry, I'm not asking for advice, but I just needed to get this off my chest.

[Deleted User]

It surprises me every time someone brings up this subject. I personally would never consider wearing any shade of white to a wedding. If white is in the dress or is a background to a pattern or something, I feel that is perfectly acceptable. But solid white? I just don't know why some people can't understand why that would be an issue.

I really think it's best to let these things go. No one is going to confuse you with you FMIL. However, I can understand your frustration. Nice that your mom spoke up - then if there's any issues about it later it's between the moms and not with you. Way to go momma!

Ember01

Yeah, I was shocked that she asked, because she was so set on green from the beginning. And she is totally all about proper wedding etiquette and making sure everything is done by the book.

I totally agree, that a dress with some white is fine. I've worn a dress that is like 30% white to a wedding before. No one confused me, in a sundress, with the bride in a white gown.

The dress FMIL was looking at was all white and had a green sash around the waist. If it had been all green, with a white sash, I would have been fine with it.

All I could imagine was that scene from Monster-in-Law, when the MOG shows up wearing white to the wedding.

lunarsongbird

OOoh...WINTER white? That makes it totally okay!

I would have looked something like this:



But sometimes I'm a smidge dramatic.

"Sure. FMIL...You can buy that dress- I'm sure the shop can dye it to be whatever color you'd like."

loves2shop4shoes

I would've said..."Sure, you can wear winter white...if we change our wedding date to April Fool's Day."

csousa1

I don't understand why anyone would WANT to wear white to a wedding....nevermind that the bride would be all "wtfbbq?", but all the guests (or a lot of them anyway) are going to be giving you the side eye all day. The bride doesn't look like a jackass when you wear white, YOU do.

lunarsongbird

::sulks:: I'm going to head into work now. See y'all in an hour where I'll have an update on the status of my employment. Ugh.

Wrkn925

I think you handled it perfectly.

You can't tell someone what to wear, and your stunned silence should've gotten the message across.  When it didn't, your wonderful mommy came to the rescue.

Good Mommy.
Bad FMIL. bad.

lmwilber

Ummmm...What? Obviously she knew it was in poor taste, or else she would not have asked if it was ok, nor would she have bothered to point out that its really a 'winter' white. I honestly don't know what  I would have done in that situation, so I'm glad your mom was there to say something.

In the future I suggest you travel with


To avoid all awkward questions....

CCO2012

BITCH... I'm sure she is a very nice lady normally, but right now... BITCH

Elle1036

I probably would have been so taken aback that I just agreed to it out of shock.

But seriously, who even wants to wear white to a wedding other than her own?  I don't understand why she would even ask.

cu97tiger

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_vent-winter-white?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:14ac51ae-a49c-407b-ac21-4cece8452752Post:faf1bf75-cd9b-471c-bfb0-de7e699ffc2d">Re: Vent: Winter White</a>:
[QUOTE]BITCH... I'm sure she is a very nice lady normally, but right now... BITCH
Posted by CCO2012[/QUOTE]

<div>This. It was my first thought! Kudos to you for not deffering to her and saying 'yes' and to your mom for telling her HELLS NO!</div>

kellylove22

Thank goodness for your mom. She did your FMIL a favor. I have a friend who got married this year, and she has a really wonderful mother, but the mother wore a dress that essentially looked like an ivory wedding dress. Everyone was whispering when she walked down the isle because SHE looked like she was the one getting married (until of course she took her seat). She really is a lovely woman, but I'm not sure what she was thinking. Lots of people cracked jokes as a result of the dress.

leia1979

LOL at the bean dip.

When my mom and I went dress shopping, we found a cute short silver dress, but my mom thought it was too close to white. I really wasn't concerned, but the teal dress we picked is way better.