F*ck Budgets.

PandaBurr

FI and I just started the beginning stages of planning and we're talking budgets, and I think I'm already going crazy. He wants all this shizz but only gave me a budget of $7500 for 120 people. For everything. Sigh. I'm tempted to just stick in an extra $1000 in there and so I can just hire a wedding planner to do it all for me. Not to mention we decided on So Cal, while we're still living in Seattle, so planning is a pain as it is.

So the question is:

PandaBurr

Holy crap wedding planners are expensive.

Narwhal

I VOTED FOR THE WRONG ONE

DON'T SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL

DON'T DO EET

GreenPepperBurger

Things may be cheaper in Seattle, but holy cow, $7500 for the entire wedding? That would probably cover just the entertainment in New York.

calindi

You can totally do this.  But first, your FI has to get an idea of how far that money will go.  Seriously, sometimes guys are so clueless.  My BF once threw out the number of $5,000 for a budget for 200 people in Newport, RI.  Uh, no!  If that's all the money we had to work with, we'd have to make some changes - trimming the guest list, different venue, iPod instead of a DJ, etc.

Basically, it comes down to where you're willing to compromise.  Head over to the Budgets board - those girls are great at stretching a dollar.  Yes, some of this will take DIY.  Sometimes a wedding planner can help you stretch that dollar, making the added splurge totally worth it. 

PaigeMcC

$7,500 is about my budget.  In my area it's not a lot but it's enough.  What you really need to do is sit down and figure out what's important to you and what you can live without or cut back on.  Make a list of things that are important and shop around.  Do what you can for cheaper and definitely check out budget brides.  They've got some great ideas.

Hazel_B

I agree with pps alot on this one. $7500 should be doable, but you need to figure out what is important to you and adjust your expectations accordingly. If your FI has really lavish wants and expects $7500 to cover everything than you really need to sit down and go through your budget item by item. This way he can see that something isn't going to work, either wants have to be toned down or you have to adjust the budget.

That being said, I'm sure you can do a lot with your current budget. You can do it!

Blue & White

I think I voted against the wedding planner because I REALLY like to plan myself.  Plus, there are probably a lot of knotties that can help you out!  (not me since I live as far away from SoCal as you can think, but I'd imagine someone lives out there...) 

My mom bought a plain white dress at like a department store though, so I'm sure that is a way to save a ton of money (she really just didn't want a "wedding" dress, but she's pretty special...)

Good luck!

MissOwl

Instead of a wedding planner, consider a DOC, or day-of coordinator. They only charge a fraction of what a full-package wedding planner would cost and they still help take away your stress on your wedding day. In my area, DOCs range from 5--1500 for day of to month of planning. not sure about your area but maybe that will help?

bourgehm

That's also about the same as my budget. A little more than mine actually. (For around the same amount of people).  It's totally do able.  1,000 (which would be like 15% of your budget) seems SOOO expensive to me!

Elle1036

Decide on a venue first.  My understanding is that some venues have an in-house planner/coordinator that either comes with the rental or is available at an "upgrade" price.

For me, though, I definitely plan to have a planner of some sort.  I would go nuts without it.

motoLyn

I voted for sell your body as long as its not to the UCLA medical center, they do weird things.  Anyways. I think it depends on how much work you are willing to put into the planning.  I think I remember you saying you were from So Cal or spent time down here so you probably have an idea of location and prices.  I know the LA and OC board has some tips and suggestions on there.  Do you have a exact area in So Cal?  $7,500 is doable like the PP said, but your FI is going to have to understand that there will be compromises.  I've helped plan 4 weddings in the last 3 years here in Los Angeles and Orange County and they varied from a beach wedding, backyard reception for a couple of grand to a country club ceremony, hotel ballroom reception that cost nearly $20K.  I'm sure that you can do it without a planner, but if you can't then a day of planner sounds like a good choice.  I'm kind of in the same boat with planning a wedding in Maui and debating on hiring a planner or doing it myself.  FI is clueless when it comes how much work goes into planning a wedding.  Good luck!  I'm sure you if you need any answers to more questions the ladies here are more than happy to help.

PandaBurr

Ha, I love the spread of responses to the poll. As a side note, we're planning in Orange County, California. I think Seattle would've actually been cheaper

Thanks for the advice ladies. I showed him my spread sheet, and I think I can get him to go up to $8500.

So far we're doing a barbecue buffet wedding, which is about $22/pp including 3 choices, 4 sides, lemonade punch and sodas. ($2650)

Then booze we're doing kegs and cases of wine, which ended being like $2100 using the drink calculator and looking at BevMo.

Then we wants a live band and an iPod (it actually worked really well at another family member's wedding, and we really liked the band), so that's looking at another $1000-$1200.

Then photography was looking like $1000 for a basic package.

My dress we're getting custom (cheaply) made in Vietnam for $100. I just gotta time it for when family is visiting and coming back so I don't have to pay for shipping and customs, lol. I've actually seen a few of these in some weddings and they're not bad, so long as I don't go all fancy schmancy on it (which I don't think would fit the theme of barbecue picnic, lol)

Floral, I'm just gonna go to downtown LA to the flower market maybe 3 days out and do all that myself and get vases at the dollar store. ($215ish)

So that's $7060 without the venue or service charges and tax. The issue we're having with venues is the whole BYO catering thing. Looking at public parks, most of them have alcohol restrictions (as in NO alcohol). Some of them even close at dusk regardless of your function! Most of the venues we've been looking at have been around $900-$1500 rental for 6 hours. And these are public parks!!

I'm thinking about cutting out the photographer and finding maybe 2-3 photography students at a local college trying to build their portfolio. I mean, between the 3 of them there's bound to be a few good pictures, right?

And then there's tables, chairs, and linens, and the cake. I think we're gonna just get some Costco cakes.

Oh, and did I mention that he wants a string quartet to play Don't Stop Believin' pre-ceremony like in the Wedding Singer?

(Ugh, typed this up like an hour ago, but weather knocked out our cable)

PandaBurr

I would LOVE to do a backyard wedding, but as much family as I have down there, we don't know anyone with a big enough backyard

bsidebella

I was thinking for when my wedding time comes I would want a wedding planner because I have no idea WTF I'm doing. I can direct, produce and co-star in a play involving 20 people but the idea of planning an entire wedding makes my knees buckle. But oh man, you guys are scaring me out of that idea! Good thing I've got 2 years to get my sh!t together O.o

Panda, best of luck to you!

motoLyn

Panda there's a photographer that was just married last year she is part of the Los Angeles board. Laura Laing http://www.lauralaingphotography.com/ her pictures look great and her pricing for a wedding is $800 for 2010 it might go up a little for next year. 

Wedding: $800 (for weddings booked in 2010)

* No limit on shooting time (for 1 day only)
* 1 disc of high resolution edited images (Color and Black & White)
* 1 disc of low resolution images for web sharing

You can always check her out.

LoL!  My sister did the same thing when it came to her Vietnamese traditional gown, she had it made in Vietnam and then brought back via my granny.  Hell some of the jewelry that my family owns is made in Vietnam and brought here cause its cheaper to make custom pieces over there.  The anklet that I've been wearing for the last 7 years was brought over by my granny.  Hahaha like you I have a massive amount of family here in LA and Orange County but I'm not one for big parties, hence escaping to Maui where i can limit the guest list to 50 in hopes only 35 actually show up.  It is definitely more expensive to have a wedding in the OC than is Seattle, but you have options down here.  I'll keep an eye out for a public venue that fits what you need for a reception.  I'm sure you have family looking for you as well.  But if you have any questions of ideas and you need a person to bounce them off of.  I'm always around.

PandaBurr

Ooh, $800 isn't bad.

Can you guess why we're having it in OC? Because for some reason Viet people have to congregate there and my mom (who is contributing, thankfully), invited all the girls from the nail salon she owns. How many stereotypes is that?? Ugh. Family.

Have you been to the Newland Barn? That's what we were looking at the most.

leia1979

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fck-budgets?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:177546de-3748-47fe-b3c1-38b217a0a877Post:86a09aad-04fd-4484-aa04-3752147435fa">Re: F*ck Budgets.</a>:
[QUOTE]I voted for sell your body as long as its not to the UCLA medical center, they do weird things. 
Posted by motoLyn[/QUOTE]

I LOL'd at this because one of my BMs is a resident at UCLA med center.

Panda, I found some vases for cheap on Amazon, too. The ones I want are $115 shipped for 36 vases (12 sets of three heights).

I'd also recommend going to the flower mart about a month in advance if you can. You can talk prices with some vendors and place an order with them. We did this with the SF flower mart for my friend's wedding.

Are you getting an ao dai? Just wondering because the place I've bought an ao dai from also makes western wedding dresses, so it could go either way.

motoLyn

I grew up with ventures into Westminster every weekend.  I live in Huntington Beach so I'm very acquainted with the Vietnamese community and *shakes head* their driving skills.  At my sister's wedding my parents well my Dad invited his drinking buddies to her wedding reception.  A whole table of 10 just for them with an extra bottle of Remy XO, what's with the Remy XO at Vietnamese weddings?  Funny side story, on the occasion that I visit a nail salon which is like 4 in my lifetime every one of them have been run by Vietnamese people.  Seriously I could be in the middle of the most non asian community ie. HB and bam Vietnamese nail salon.  I love it when they don't think I'm Vietnamese and go ahead and talk right in front of me.  Quite amusing the gossip they have. 

Back on  track, I haven't been inside Newland Barn, but I go past there often when I'm going to get pizza at the Roundtable Pizza joint that's in the same plaza as it.  But from I've seen its pretty nice, if your wedding is in August then I say it be a good venue, easy to find and park.  Looking at the website it says you would have to hire security of you were to have alcohol served. 

JMM4208

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fck-budgets?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:177546de-3748-47fe-b3c1-38b217a0a877Post:09f053cd-9d40-41cf-9e04-dc1c9e938d9d">Re: F*ck Budgets.</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm thinking about cutting out the photographer and finding maybe 2-3 photography <strong>students at a local college trying to build their portfolio</strong>. I mean, between the 3 of them there's bound to be a few good pictures, right? And then there's tables, chairs, and linens, and the cake. I think we're gonna just get some Costco cakes. Oh, and did I mention that he wants a <strong>string quartet to play Don't Stop Believin'</strong> pre-ceremony like in the Wedding Singer?
Posted by PandaBurr[/QUOTE]

IMO the college students sometimes do a better job than the professionals. Two quick experiences:
1) A friends wedding I went to this summer had the full team of professionals working on it, but one of the bridesmaids was a photography major and did the engagement pictures for her. (they were fantastic btw) The BM decided to bring her camera to the reception and actually snapped better shots than any of the three "professionals" did. Also they are just getting a album made from the professional shots and one of the pics the BM took is going up as an 11x14 on their wall. I've seen both sets and the difference is night and day, although Im sure theirs horror stories out there too.
2) I have a friend that needed some last minute shots to round out her portfolio and so she talked my BF and I to do a couples shoot. I love every single picture she took, so much in fact that BF and I were joking that we wouldn't need engagement pictures.

-If you decide to go with students three would be a safe number and pull from the junior or senior classes if possible.

As for the string quartet you might be able to hack into the college system and get them to play the ceremony for cheap. If you find out who the small ensemble coaching professor is for the string department they could actually work it in for a grade for the students, and you would know it is well rehearsed.

PandaBurr

Leia - I think I saw those vase sets, but I'm not looking for any uniformity. I like the look of a "thrown together" kinda thing, so the dollar store/thrift store will work perfectly.

I was planning on getting a western style wedding dress for the ceremony, and then an ao dai for the reception, but then I decided against the ao dai to cut costs. I have a cousin working for KPMG over there right now (I think she's in Hanoi... or maybe Saigon... she travels a lot, haha) and she's gonna be getting the dress for me. She also slyly remarked that she would get the ao dai as a gift for me. So maybe I will have both?

Lyn- I totally get EVERYTHING you just said, haha. I grew up in Corona, with weekend grocery trips with my mom to Bolsa. Why she had to drive 30 minutes just to go grocery shopping, I'll never know. I get the same thing up here about the nail salons, then they get all flustered when they realize I'm Vietnamese, haha. Isn't weird that all the nail salons up here are run by Viet people too? It's crazy.

Anyway, yes, back on track, I read that too (about the security). Also read that music has to be inside the building, which would be lame if everyone is seated outside, but in their little informational video it shows a DJ and dance floor outside, so I'm not sure they're very strict about that. Especially since I plan on ending the reception at 10.

JMM- That is great advice! I think I am going to go the route of college students for the photography. We'll see if we can find a string trio/quartet too while we're at it.

Thanks everyone! I feel much better.

JMM4208

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_fck-budgets?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:177546de-3748-47fe-b3c1-38b217a0a877Post:d4d6e734-8e94-41a3-8ce7-478a30f1aedc">Re: F*ck Budgets.</a>:
[QUOTE]Anyway, yes, back on track, I read that too (about the security). Also read that music has to be inside the building, which would be lame if everyone is seated outside, but in their little informational video it shows a DJ and dance floor outside, so I'm not sure they're very strict about that. Especially since I plan on ending the reception at 10. JMM- That is great advice! I think I am going to go the route of college students for the photography. We'll see if we can find a string trio/quartet too while we're at it. Thanks everyone! I feel much better.
Posted by PandaBurr[/QUOTE]

I don't know how I missed all the cues that this is outside. But a note for the music stuff, think about how sound travels, string small ensembles may carry well but make sure to note any major highways/air strips/train tracks around your venue. Also for reference, if the strings cant do it, avoid a woodwind quartet, they do not carry well outside (think about if you couldn't hear the music when you started coming down the aisle, and any bit of rain can mess up the instruments. Call me biased but in brass ensembles you don't have to worry too much about rain and the tuba is the only thing that shoots up into the sky and we know how to compensate for that.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif" border="0" alt="Cool" title="Cool" />

calindi

Funniest thing... the two nail salons nearby my house down here are owned by Vietnamese but are staffed by Cubans.  Just a thing, I suppose!

The nail salons in RI where I grew up were largely Vietnamese, also.

What about if you found a restaurant to be your venue?  I know here there are a few that have separate banquet rooms, and they're quite cheap as a package with the food.

Specifically this brunch place we love, it's $35/person for the brunch normally.  For the private room and a choice of a wide selection of table linens, it's only $45/person.  So that's venue and food AND unlimited champagne mimosas for $45/person!  And it is right ont he water and has an incredible view of the Miami skyline.  Miami's not a cheap place, either, so I imagine there's got to be similar places in other parts of the country.

PandaBurr

With my calculations it's about $36.50 pp right now for food and drinks (I cut back on a few cases of wine coolers) and brought the booze budget down to $1745. I know some of my family only drinks mixed fruity drinks (no beer or wine), but since I can't have hard alcohol, I figured some wine coolers would be a good alternative, haha.

With the photography cut that brings me under budget, but I haven't added in the cost of the security yet. Or taxes/service fees... or tables, chairs, and linens... I should really look up how much renting that stuff costs too.

I think I'm going to abandon the live band idea, and just use an iPod. One of my cousins made an amazing mix for another cousin's wedding and everybody loved it. That cuts out another $1000, and I can use that towards paper lanterns or something, and y'know, tables and chairs, haha.

sessionswedding

You guys all need to come down here to get married.  Seriously.  For about $5000 I'm pulling off a grand shebang with 200 guests.

ETA:  Lemme asterisk that.  My FMIL is a florist/caterer and she'll be providing flowers and food that are about $2500 in total, but still, I could TOTALLY rock that $7500 budget down here.

PandaBurr

Damn you California!! *Shakes fist!*

skyler1108

Ok either my budget is really high or your's is really small! I am having my wedding in the LA area and my budget is $5,000 for 30 people. Granted I picked a pretty expensive restaurant for dinner but still I thought my budget is low.