Not Engaged Yet

Opinions please! Heirloom vs. your own ring!

Ok so my boyfriend and I have been looking at rings together for a few months now.I gave him ideas and he pretty much has designed a hybrid of some of the pictures I've shown him. He does well salary wise and wanted to get me the setting I wanted, but with an apx 1.5 C round center stone. I've told him that it isn't at all necessary to go that big or spend that much since we are trying to buy a house and get married.

However, his mother and father have told us just recently that she has her engagement ring and 10 year anniversary rings that she was planning on giving to her sons as engagement rings (She's upgrading to something much larger). She has very different taste than me (I like simple and elegant, she likes big and flashy). My boyfriend is concerned and we are torn between me having my own ring or just taking her stones and/or just the center stone (which is still just above a carat and is completely perfect w/ only 1 very minimal flaw). I told him I'd be happy with whatever he chose to do, it's the meaning of the ring. I also told him that if she passes it down to me, then we can keep the tradition going as well if he chose.

So....opinions please!! Heirloom or original ring that was chosen??

Re: Opinions please! Heirloom vs. your own ring!

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i would go with the ring u designed. im sure his mom would understand and the ring can always be passed on to grandchildren in the future.


  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Can't you take her stone and adjust the ring you're designing to fit it?

    The stone is 70% of the cost of the ring and could save you a lot of money.

    That would be my choice.
  • HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_opinions-please-heirloom-vs-own-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:19a99d12-07d2-4ad4-b44a-df9c078e2987Post:12fc0bd1-7844-44eb-a386-787569f4e872">Re: Opinions please! Heirloom vs. your own ring!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can't you take her stone and adjust the ring you're designing to fit it? The stone is 70% of the cost of the ring and could save you a lot of money. That would be my choice.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    THIS!!

    That seems like an easy thing to do and it's very wise.
    You can have the ring you want and not have to worry about the stone, because you already have one!
    You should definitely talk to your BF and his parents and see if that's OK.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_opinions-please-heirloom-vs-own-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:19a99d12-07d2-4ad4-b44a-df9c078e2987Post:12fc0bd1-7844-44eb-a386-787569f4e872">Re: Opinions please! Heirloom vs. your own ring!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can't you take her stone and adjust the ring you're designing to fit it? The stone is 70% of the cost of the ring and could save you a lot of money. That would be my choice.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]
    Ditto.  This is what we did.....saved us a TON of money AND I got an heirloom to pass on to my kids. 
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  • Hazel_BHazel_B member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_opinions-please-heirloom-vs-own-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:19a99d12-07d2-4ad4-b44a-df9c078e2987Post:12fc0bd1-7844-44eb-a386-787569f4e872">Re: Opinions please! Heirloom vs. your own ring!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can't you take her stone and adjust the ring you're designing to fit it? The stone is 70% of the cost of the ring and could save you a lot of money. That would be my choice.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    Definitely this!
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    If his mother doesn't mind you using just the diamond and trashing the setting, it's a great compromise.  It'll probably be plenty big enough for you since it doesn't sound like you're a "2 ct or bust" type.   It'll be a way to save money while also carrying on a tradition and honoring his parents.

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  • edited December 2011
    I agree with everyone who said use the stone in a custom setting... it's the best of both worlds!

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_opinions-please-heirloom-vs-own-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:19a99d12-07d2-4ad4-b44a-df9c078e2987Post:12fc0bd1-7844-44eb-a386-787569f4e872">Re: Opinions please! Heirloom vs. your own ring!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can't you take her stone and adjust the ring you're designing to fit it? The stone is 70% of the cost of the ring and could save you a lot of money. That would be my choice.
    Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

    I love this idea! Wish my mom still had her ring laying around for me one day lol
    Good luck & congrats!
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  • breezerbbreezerb member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_opinions-please-heirloom-vs-own-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:19a99d12-07d2-4ad4-b44a-df9c078e2987Post:3aa2a68d-5a3b-43dd-bbbf-aee20e7685f4">Re: Opinions please! Heirloom vs. your own ring!</a>:
    [QUOTE]If his mother doesn't mind you using just the diamond and trashing the setting, it's a great compromise.  It'll probably be plenty big enough for you since it doesn't sound like you're a "2 ct or bust" type.   It'll be a way to save money while also carrying on a tradition and honoring his parents.
    Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

    THIS.  I wouldnt want to use the diamond if she wanted to keep the style of her ring but if she doesn't mind - free diamond!
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  • edited December 2011
    I would personally go with the diamond from him mom and put it in your custom ring as long as she's okay with using just the diamond.

    Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    Thank you so much ladies!! She was planning on having it reset anyway as an engagement ring, but hopefully she'll understand what he hopes to do with it. Besides, I told him I want a thin band so the 1 carat will probably still look big on my finger. I told him I'd rather go for quality then quantity anyway!! A girl at work suggested that when he gives me future jewelry presents (marriage, giving birth, holidays, ect) to save those as my own heirlooms. I thought this was a great idea! 

    Thanks for all the feedback!! 


  • edited December 2011
    I'm late, but I agree with everyone else.  Use the stone in your own setting if you don't like her setting.  That's what we did for my wedding band (and my e-ring is heirloom as well), and it saved us a ton of money.
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  • desertsundesertsun member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I WISH we'd had an heirloom to use. Or that my H had been open to moissanite.

    If you CAN save money, why wouldn't you? (As long as, as Cate pointed out, your BF's mom approves of re-setting the diamond how YOU like.)
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  • edited December 2011
    Agree with PPs, use her stone and get a new setting.
  • edited December 2011
    Thank you again ladies!! I didn't even think to save the other stones in the ring for the wedding band!! This way nothing goes unused!! Excellent!! I'll talk to him about it when it comes up again :)
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