What did you do to make your BF propose?

juliatroyan

Ladies,

How did you encourage your BF to propose to you?  If you've already hinted that you're ready, but nothing seems to be happening, is there anything else that you can do or have done to make it happen?

Thanks

bourgehm

I didnt do a thing to MAKE him propose.... And I'm pretty sure if I would have MADE him he would have been long gone.

luvdncn90

If you have to MAKE him propose to you, you have some pretty big issues. Your BF will propose when he's good and ready and there's not a thing you can do to push him along....besides getting pregnant of course.

That was sarcasm. Please god don't get pregnant to try to get him to marry you.

And, plus, do you really only want him proposing because you made him? Or do you want him to propose because he wants to?

AudgiePodge

Bjs and anal.

wheatney22

Honestly, I recommend you talk to him. Don't drop hints. As adults (I am assuming you are both adults), you should be able to talk to each other openly especially about something as important as getting engaged. Hopefully, he is receptive.

Another unsolicited advise, please DO NOT give him an ultimatum. No one responds well to them and you'll always be left wondering if he proposed cause he wanted to or because he had an ultimatum.

Goodluck!

laurenann82

I'm gonna *hope* that the wording was meant to be a little bit snarky. Benefit of doubt here. 

Why don't you try asking him if he wants to get married or ever thinks about getting married? Wait for a natural time (or just blurt it out at an inappropriate time, like I did, which ended up working out just fine but totally caught him off guard) and just be like, "Hey, do you think we're gonna get married some day?" or something. Then that opens you up for a conversation about general timelines and life goals. If he's not into that conversation, explain to him that it's something you've been thinking about a lot lately and it's important for you to tell him how you feel or whatever. Then drop the subject for a while until it comes up naturally again. 

Or, get pregnant. 

jilly2121

HAHA Audgie! That's awesome! My bf jokes that I have to earn 100 points before he proposes (a lot of points are given for anal he said).

In answer to your post though, you cant do anything but sit tight and wait. Im not doing anything to make my bf propose. I'm actually so over the whole engagement talk and pre-wedding talk when he brings it up...i tell him to stop talking about it until we are engaged.

What do you mean by "hinting" did you send pics of rings to his email? Did you buy wedding magazines?

jdrose5

Don't get pregnant!!!  Ironically I found out my boyfriend was getting close to proposing when I learned I was pregnant despite being on birth control.   So now he wants to wait to get engaged.   Thing is before I wasn't sure I wanted to get married again to him or anyone. Now I know I would like to get married to him someday.

tafft1

Jdrose- I highly doubt because you got pregnant he didn't want to get engaged - I'm sorry but if that stops him then there are larger issues at hand mist likely. To the OP - there is nothing you can or should to to "make" him. You should as pp suggested sit down and have a serious discussion about it and see where you both see yourselves.

[Deleted User]

I poked holes in all the rubbers... Then, I bought my engagement ring and told him that if he didn't propose, he'd never see his baby!

misskrysbaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:473e183c-fffe-4f71-af0b-abd5513eade6">What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]Ladies, How did you encourage your BF to propose to you?  If you've already hinted that you're ready, but nothing seems to be happening, is there anything else that you can do or have done to make it happen? Thanks :)
Posted by juliatroyan[/QUOTE]

:shakes head: Please let this be fake. I can guarantee not one of these women made their FI's propose. So please don't.

jdrose5

Tafft1-- There are issues and it is not him.  It is monetary.  My grandmother had a fit about my 1st wedding.  That I basically all but eloped.  18 years later and she still complains.   Boyfriend has known me since back then and knows this. He knows we can't afford the wedding she wants and the cost of a baby.  He thinks a long engagement is too stressful.   I am hoping to sit down and talk to him tonight actually. 

Also the thing is the baby is going to be a huge adjustment to me, him and my kids from my late husband so he was worried about asking them to make another adjustment of us getting married.   The fact the kids keep asking if I am going to marry him and make them call him dad tells me he was right in being worried about that.   However I think the financial aspect alone is enough reason to not deal with a new baby and a wedding esp if you want a formal wedding like my grandmother  and father want me to have.

jeanacorina

Well, first I baked him an engagement chicken cake. When that didn't work, I dragged him around to jewelry stores and pointed out rings I wanted. Then I smacked him in the head with a frying pan. Cast iron is best, in my experience. He still refused to propose, so I hog-tied him, sat on his chest, and force-fed him red kidney beans straight from the can. He HATES beans.

Still not convinced to marry me, so I told him that if we got engaged, he could have an XBox 360. That worked. Only took me 5 years to get him to pop the question! I call it a success.

heyimbren

Have an open and honest discussion with him about your goals and his goals for the future, and maybe even discuss a timeline.

Then let him do it in his own way, in his own timing.

PaigeMcC

Surprise ice rink wedding.  No need for a proposal.

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:812c2ac3-9808-4886-bac5-ef4d04a0879b">Re: What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]Bjs and anal.
Posted by AudgiePodge[/QUOTE]

Foolproof.

sessionswedding

I call MUD.

GreenPepperBurger

Blow him. A lot. Swallowing does the trick.

tafft1

Jdrose- while I understand wanting to make family happy and all you are both adults in charge of your own lives or do I hope. If your grandmother is so dissapointed by lack of a flashy wedding that is more her issue - not you or your boyfriends. It just makes me wonder why you need that approval from her- granted I fo understand wanting to honor some family wishes but seriously at some point you have to stop worrying what everyone else thinks and wants and do what you BOTH want. You can get married a d engaged without going into debt - it doesn't have to be a financial burden. However I can understand wanting to wait until after but if it's just because he or you is trying to live up to a standard that someone else has you could be wetting yourself up for more dissapointment.

mana8503

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:6c3db30b-a7de-4563-aa17-fc561e99f6a7">Re: What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]HAHA Audgie! That's awesome!<strong> My bf jokes that I have to earn 100 points before he proposes (a lot of points are given for anal he said). </strong>In answer to your post though, you cant do anything but sit tight and wait. Im not doing anything to make my bf propose. I'm actually so over the whole engagement talk and pre-wedding talk when he brings it up...i tell him to stop talking about it until we are engaged. What do you mean by "hinting" did you send pics of rings to his email? Did you buy wedding magazines?
Posted by jilly2121[/QUOTE]

My bf said I started out with a piece of gravel and had to work up to a diamond.  So it was gravel, quartz, wood, coal.... then it started at .0000001 carat.  He had to stop, because I was earn a HUGE rock haha!

Elle1036

This thread is quite entertaining.  Please continue.

joiner521

Be patient, it will come. If you pressure him, he will run.

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:6966c8b6-4df6-43d2-879c-34e402f9bbe7">Re: What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm his furbaby mama.  And<strong> I let him buy condoms at costco, even if it does take a while to get through a whole box.</strong>  And rocking in bed doesn't hurt.
Posted by sunbird627[/QUOTE]

We're still working on our box of Costco condoms. We bought them 4 months ago. Good thing those thingies last awhile.

joiner521

wow, lmao!

joiner521

That was hysterical!

notquiteblushing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:6570c8eb-9771-4a1c-9e10-03740170d022">Re: What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]Tafft1-- There are issues and it is not him.  It is monetary.  My grandmother had a fit about my 1st wedding.  That I basically all but eloped.  18 years later and she still complains.   Boyfriend has known me since back then and knows this. He knows we can't afford the wedding she wants and the cost of a baby.  He thinks a long engagement is too stressful.   I am hoping to sit down and talk to him tonight actually.  Also the thing is the baby is going to be a huge adjustment to me, him and my kids from my late husband so he was worried about asking them to make another adjustment of us getting married.   The fact the kids keep asking if I am going to marry him and make them call him dad tells me he was right in being worried about that.   However I think the financial aspect alone is enough reason to not deal with a new baby and a wedding esp if you want a formal wedding like my grandmother  and father want me to have.
Posted by jdrose5[/QUOTE]


Babe, you are at least in your 40's now, correct?  If I was so lucky to have either of my grandmothers alive right now and they told me to have a big expensive wedding because they didn't like my choices almost two decades ago at my first wedding I would tell them thank you very much for your opinion and then do what I as a grown woman wanted.

calindi

Be an excellent cook, clean the house constantly, and blow his mind in bed.

No, but seriously... all of this:

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:a0155844-e401-49ae-a730-36af97b3b4cd">Re: What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, I recommend you talk to him. Don't drop hints. As adults (I am assuming you are both adults), you should be able to talk to each other openly especially about something as important as getting engaged. Hopefully, he is receptive. Another unsolicited advise, please DO NOT give him an ultimatum. No one responds well to them and you'll always be left wondering if he proposed cause he wanted to or because he had an ultimatum. Goodluck!
Posted by wheatney22[/QUOTE]

If you want your man to propose, talk to him.  It means you're ready to get married, and you're wondering when he's ready.  Tell him that.  Ask him if he's thought about marriage for the two of you (if you haven't talked about it before) and approximately what timeline he has in mind - is there an amount of time (i.e. "after we've been dating 3 years), is there a specific time (i.e. "next summer"), is there a personal or professional or financial goal he wants to reach first (i.e. "after my promotion" or "after I have $X saved").  Figure out what he's thinking by talking to him as two adults.  Don't pressure him, and make sure he knows you're not pressuring him.  Just have a conversation so you both are on the same page.

I made this analogy before - for most people, pushing the guy to propose is like having your high school boyfriend push you for sex.  If you're not ready on your own, you're simply not ready.  And it's rude and annoying to be pushed.  Someone who loves you won't push you - they'll talk about what they want and ask you if you're ready, but they won't give you ultimatums or pressure you.  So don't push him!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:41fe01a7-30d4-4d92-8fa6-a4b280842019">Re: What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]Blow him. A lot. Swallowing does the trick.
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

THIS!

jeanacorina

The Costco condoms got me. Coffee out the nose. Ouch. I'll get you, Sunbird! And your adorable kitten, too!

MrsCatfish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-bf-propose?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2509b531-22f6-4eb3-85b7-89f83df7242cPost:e31c4250-73df-450b-838f-23b8835c4367">Re: What did you do to make your BF propose?</a>:
[QUOTE]I poked holes in all the rubbers... Then, I bought my engagement ring and told him that if he didn't propose, he'd never see his baby!
Posted by LyzMcFlyz[/QUOTE]

<div>This made me think of:  </div>
<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/15/783ee016-4bca-4c7a-af08-8ecd835e8454.large.jpg" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '783ee016-4bca-4c7a-af08-8ecd835e8454', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/8/15/783ee016-4bca-4c7a-af08-8ecd835e8454.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
<div>
</div><div>I also hear blackmail works well.</div>

CASK85

I'll agree with BJs and anal. And thigh high stockings. And Brazilian waxing. Gotta slut up if you want that ring, honey.