Soulmates?

heyimbren

I'm just curious to hear what people say, and on a wedding board, this seems appropriate.

Do any of you believe in the idea of soulmates? Do any of you not? Any other related thoughts?

GreenPepperBurger

I really believe in the Origin of Love. I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.

"The Origin of Love" is a song from the stage show Hedwig and the Angry Inch and subsequent film written by John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask. Stephen Trask wrote the song, which is based on a story from Plato's Symposium.

In the Symposium, a party is being held in which a series of speeches are given paying homage to Eros, the Greek god of love. "The Origin of Love" is taken from the speech given by the playwright Aristophanes.

According to the speech, long ago, humans were composed of two people stuck back-to-back, with two faces and eight limbs. Male-male humans came from the Sun, female-female humans from the Earth and male-female humans from the Moon. The gods, out of jealousy, split them in half. Now, throughout our lives, we are always trying to find our "other half", and sexual intercourse is the only means we have to put the two halves back together; this desire to be one person again is what we call "love". However, it is impossible to fully rejoin two people because it is our souls and not our bodies that most desire to be reunited.

--

bethsmiles

I kind of buy the idea of a soul mate. My BFF is totally my soul mate. I love her to death! But I for some reason don't like describing my BF as my soul mate. I love him more than anything and I can't imagine life without him. He is the love of my life but my BFF she is my soul mate.

heyimbren

GPB, I LOVE that story. I adore Greek philosophy and mythology, particularly Plato and that's one of the best. It's such an interesting idea.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it. I used to strongly believe in it, but I think I've drifted away from it now.

JessGriff

I may be among the minority, but not only do I not believe in soulmates, I absolutely abhor anyone using that word.  There's something about the idea of wandering about with a part of yourself missing that I really, really dislike - I'd hate to think that, based entirely on the size of the human population, I might never bump into my soulmate, let alone fall for them, and thus would spend my life incomplete in some way.  Not to mention the possibility of falling in love with someone who is not your soulmate, marrying that person, and then finding your soulmate while on your honeymoon - the massive possibility for mixups is endless.  Now, that having been said, I do believe that the person you're meant to be with will complement you in some way - for example, FH is a Type B who is very laid back, I am severely Type A and prone to panic attacks and illogical worrying.  He grounds me.  I am incredibly energetic, conscious of my health, and obsessively clean, whereas he likes to relax, eat junk food, and ignore the laundry.  I motivate him.

That's my two cents.  I think, now that I'm mulling this over, that my real hatred of the term stems from Dawson's Creek and the Dawson and Joey relationship.  I was young enough to think that I could live it out in real life, but the object of my obsession wasn't having it, even though I'd convinced myself that we were soulmates.  It was a blow to my middle-school psyche.    I've never recovered.

meamolly

HEDWIGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!! I Love that song and let me tell you it changed my views after hearing it. (doesn't hurt that the soundtrack has one of my favorite singers singing it )

desertsun

First of all, I think it's okay for people to have different opinions on this topic. I don't think there's a right or wrong answer.

That said, I personally do not believe in the idea of soul mates.

Mostly b/c I think many people use that term to describe a relationship in which there is an intuitive understanding or grasp of the other person.

While that's a nice idea, in my experience, relationships are more work.

Also, honestly, I like to think of myself as an whole person all on my own. I don't like to think I'm only half of a whole.

lexa10

LOVE the story!!!

Simply Fated

I believe in soul mates, but not that we all only have one of them.
And I don't believe they all have to be the opposite (or same, I don't judge!) gender.
I think of soulmates as more like kindred spirits.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_soulmates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2b2c985f-0e68-45e6-b74f-db9cd4340b20Post:b8375920-61a1-4043-83e7-a98db24d1824">Re: Soulmates?</a>:
[QUOTE]I believe in soul mates, but not that we all only have one of them. And I don't believe they all have to be the opposite (or same, I don't judge!) gender. I think of soulmates as more like <strong>kindred spirits</strong>. :)
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Simply, do you like Anne of Green Gables? :)

Desert I think you and I are eye to eye on this. I grew up within religious communities, and I was told all the time that God had created one person specifically just for me and that I had to find that one person. I don't think there's anything wrong with believing that (just like Desert said, again!) but I don't think I believe that. But I do think there's something to be said for chemistry.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_soulmates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2b2c985f-0e68-45e6-b74f-db9cd4340b20Post:28bff1ca-c9da-47ff-a30c-15e918bc6653">Re: Soulmates?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Soulmates? : Simply, do you like Anne of Green Gables? :)
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]
I love Anne of Green Gables! :)

The term soulmates in it's literal definition sounds so cruel to me... like, if one lover dies, then you are left without your soul mate forever. Kindred spirits are so much more romantic to me because it is <em>more</em> than just two people who are predestined for each other.

loves2shop4shoes

That's a tough question...of which I've taken far too many religion classes to answer properly, but I'll try anway.

I believe people have souls.  When you see someone that you have a strong, automatic like for, I think it's possible that you knew them in another life, or were "soul mates", but I don't know if I believe a soul has only one "mate".

I also believe if you have an immediate strong dislike or discomfort around someone, it's your soul telling you to stay away.  I do believe there are some (if, albeit very, very few) people that are rotten ALL the way through.

desertsun

Bren, I was told the same thing by people at the church my parents took me to.

Luckily my parents have always encouraged me to be an independent thinker.

I agree, the term kindred spirits is much more appealing. Mainly b/c it seems more realistic.

Sometimes you meet people and you just FIT.

Also, I think "spirit" changes over time, so you can have lots of kindred spirits in your life, not all of them lasting throughout, and one is not "better" than another.

[Deleted User]

I don't know so much that I would say I believe in "soul mates" as much as I would say that I believe there is a plan for everyone of us.  For some of us, that plan may include more than one person you're meant to be with, for others, there is only one person.  I used to make excuses about every guy I would date, and would only go out with them once or twice (there was always something wrong with them) - my friends and family would always get so annoyed.  I told them all that I knew there was someone out there meant just for me and when I found him, I wouldn't be making all these excuses.  That's how everyone knew immediately that Joe was the one for me.

If I was to say there is a "soul mate" for certain people, the example I would use would be my great grandparents.  They actually lied about their ages on their marriage certificate, because they thought it looked bad to be 12 years apart, so he said he was 2 years younger, and she said she was 2 years older.  My great-grandpa died in on April 10, 1065...they had been married for 61 years.  On April 17, 1965, my great-grandma told her family she loved them and then willed herself to die (I think the final count was she had 5 or 6 heart attacks that day)...she said her children were grown and had children of their own, so her place was with my great-grandpa and that's the only place she ever wanted to be.

ravenray

I feel we do have soul mates.  Yes I am religious to that does influence me, but I am independent thinker.  I guess though I have different influence as well.  I have only had one boyfriend.  He and I are talking about marriage and basically just waiting for the money to get married.  To me a soul mate is someone who does complete you.  Not that you were only partly filled beforehand but when you find that soul mate you suddenly realize what half of yourself you were missing.  I don't know, everyone is different.  Sometimes I feel like people get married and think they are in love, fall out of love, but then fall back in love and realize that the other person is their soul mate.  So I think that for each person their love is different and their soul mate is found in a different way for each person.

zipis1

I do not believe in soul mates. A lot of this is based on statistics and probability, in that there are nearly 7 billion people on this earth, spread out in such a way that if there were only one person for everyone, we would likely never find them. Add to this the fact that most people (with obvious exceptions) find their spouses (or what many consider their soul mates) within a few hundred miles of their hometown, or even just within the same country, and it has become impossible for me to believe.

Of course, if I believed in a god my tune may be different, as then it could be said that god placed those people within each other's reach. I don't though, so soul mates have become a near impossibility to me (I say near because I'm agnostic, not atheist, so I acknowledge that there remains a chance).

I also get annoyed by the term because it has a tendency to be used by people like a friend of mine, who thinks everyone she dates is her soul mate until they break up with her, and then the next one is surely her soul mate. So the term dredges up feelings of annoyance and major eye-rollness for me.

What I do believe in, however, is that certain personalities mesh really well, and that when you find someone whose personality is a good match for yours it can certainly feel like that person was made for you. But more than that one person has that personality, so it could come down to who you meet first. So if guy A and guy B have the same type of personality, but you met guy A a year before guy B, guy A is going to win out in feeling like he's "the one," even though guy B would likely have been good too.

Then there's the biological component to these things which I won't go into because this is likely long enough and rambley :P

ki10

I definitely don't believe in soulmates in the usual sense. I do think that it's a lovely word to describe couples who have become that kind of connected, rather than being born to it.

coastiegrl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_soulmates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2b2c985f-0e68-45e6-b74f-db9cd4340b20Post:2dfa9a34-318e-4299-a74a-ac681f6e5680">Re: Soulmates?</a>:
[QUOTE]I definitely don't believe in soulmates in the usual sense. I do think that it's a lovely word to describe couples who have become that kind of connected, rather than being born to it.
Posted by ki10[/QUOTE]

This.  Took the words out of my mouth :)

redheadtmk

I believe everyone has a soulmate but that its not necessarily a love interest. or even the opposite sex. it could be friend, parent, grandparent, etc. i think not everyone finds thier soulmate and that is ok. i also think that some people who find thier soulmate in a romantic partner dont necessarily end up together or belong together for life. kind of like they fit you so well its comofortable and you arent meant to be with someone who inspires passion in you instead.  for me, my sister is my other half.  for my best friend its her grandpa. 

HeartOverMind

I believe that God put BF and I together. I don't believe in soul mates and I tend to roll my eyes when I hear people referring to their SO as such, but to each his own... 

I don't need BF to "complete" me (and that's what I feel people think soulmates do)...I'm a whole person because of God, not because of BF.  Love, for me, is two whole individuals who come together as one. (it makes sense to me..lol)

I'm my own person and BF is his own person...I need him because I love him and I'm happy with him. I don't think I could ever feel this way again about anyone. I'm not saying that I could never love another person (because that would be just silly) but the exact way I feel when I see him or the pride and warmth that washes over me when he's walking towards me...I could not feel exactly for anyone else on earth.

So, I hope that answered the question.

oceana919

I don't believe in soul mates, per say. I think that the people that come into your life are there for a reason/purpose, whether it is to be a lifelong friend, or to be a friend/romantic partner to you during a specific period of time, or to enter your life temporarily to teach you something that you carry with you from that point forward, or to help you move on to the next step of becoming who you are meant to be.

At least that's how I justify all my exes.

I believe that my FI entered my life at the time when I would recognize and most appreciate who he was and what he brought into my life, and I honestly believe he was brought into my life not only to be my partner in it, but to help me get through the most difficult part of my life to date.

PaigeMcC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_soulmates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:2b2c985f-0e68-45e6-b74f-db9cd4340b20Post:1a9f20ba-e46e-4278-b341-facc9d0e97b5">Re: Soulmates?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Soulmates? : I love Anne of Green Gables! :) The term soulmates in it's literal definition sounds so cruel to me... like, if one lover dies, then you are left without your soul mate forever. Kindred spirits are so much more romantic to me because it is more than just two people who are predestined for each other.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

This this this.  I believe in Kindred spirits...it's a much nicer thought to me than soul mates.  I cannot imagine wandering around without a piece of myself

calindi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_soulmates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:2b2c985f-0e68-45e6-b74f-db9cd4340b20Post:7459183c-f814-42ca-baf8-248ace75135c">Re: Soulmates?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Soulmates? : This this this.  I believe in Kindred spirits...it's a much nicer thought to me than soul mates.  I cannot imagine wandering around without a piece of myself
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]


*Sigh*  I LOVE Anne of Green Gables!  All time favorite series!

And Paige, I couldn't have said it better myself - I'm a complete person on my own.  If something ever happened to my boyfriend, or if something ever happened where we weren't together anymore, I would be fine.  Sure, I'd be very sad for awhile, but ultimately I would be fine and live a full happy life.  I do not believe there is only one person - I believe you can find people who fit you so incredibly well, and yet it still takes work.  Some people are less easily compatible, so it takes a bit more work.  But ultimately it's the work, compatibility, and flexibility that make a good relationship.  So a kindred spirit is a much better word for what I believe in.  And you can have several kindred spirits in your life, romantic and otherwise!

mzm153

I agree with those that use "Kindred Spirits". I think that soulmates would mean dying and not being able to live without the person if that person is lost whether to death or a break-up. When I met my boyfriend, I felt like we complete each other in a certain manner (like the opposites attract theory), but that doesn't mean that should we split for whatever reason, we wouldn't be able to live without each other.