S/O Readiness

**Mutley**

So when did you know that your FI/DH was ready for marriage?

When did you know he ready to marry you?

And yes, I think these are two different questions. 

SassyBrass

1. When he'd bring it up more than I would.
2. When one day he asked me to put on all of my rings. Then about a week later when he measured my ring finger with a twist tie. Ha!

Ana_2985

This is actually kind of hard to answer. But I guess:

1.  I knew he was ready for marriage when he asked me to move across the country to be with him.  He knew that would be a huge change for me and it would have a big impact on my life (school, career, family).  We already had talked about how I would not move/he would not ask me to move unless we were ready to get married.  This was about 2 years after we started dating.  In another sense, he's always "acted growner" than he was, so I've never worried about the responsibility and financial aspects of being ready for marriage.

2. I knew he was ready to marry me about a year into our relationship.  He told me.  He explained some very personal things (that I don't want to share) to me that made him sure that I was the person he wanted to spend his life with.

laurenclaire1386

I knew FI was ready for marriage when we talked about the level of seriousness our relationship was getting to. We talked about how we weren't messing around, this wasn't a fling, and that we were both in it for the long haul. And that we both had the same goals: marriage, family, etc.

I knew he was ready to marry me when he called my dad to ask his blessing. Old fashioned, yes, but it was something that was important to both of us.

oceana919

1. When we moved in together. We both made it very clear that we only wanted to move in with someone if it was headed in the direction of marriage, so when we made the joint decision to move in together, it was pretty much a done deal.

2. When he asked for my parent's blessing.

desertsun

I knew he was ready for marriage when he talked about our future, and he assumed we'd be married. It was so natural to him that that was where we were headed that it wasn't awkward for him to talk about it, and he did it without thinking about it.

I knew he was ready to marry me when he proposed.

Ana_2985

It's interesting that these things happen in different orders for different people.  Or maybe it's just that for some people, the answers are the same for both questions.

**Mutley**

1) I know DH was ready for marriage in the general sense before we ever met.  When we talked about other relationships, he brought up that he ended his previous relationship because he knew he didn't want to marry her.  He also said that he was at a point where he knew he was ready for marriage but he needed to find the person he wanted to marry.

2) I think I got an inkling when he took me home to meet his family.  While we were there, I found out that I was the first girlfriend he had ever brought home.  He had moved out 12 years earlier.

I knew for sure when I freaked out about his roommate while staying over at his place one night.  DH knew something was up but I was afraid to admit it.  He kept asking me what was wrong.  I started crying and blurted out "I wish it was just us."  The next day, he called me and asked "How much does Zoe weigh?  I need to narrow down places due to her weight."  He had already started looking for places for us to live.  We moved in together 10 days later.  (We had previously talked about never moving in with someone you didn't want to marry.) 

katanne9

I knew I was ready to marry him when we spent all night in the ER because he was sick as a dog.

I knew he was ready to marry me when he bought a book on my car showing him how to fix everything that could break so we could have it around for another 10 years. (Sounds weird, but true).

Acrosthec

I knew he was ready for marriage and that he wanted to marry me when he brought it up in conversations around his friends.  To me it was one thing for the two of us to daydream about being married, even if the conversations were about important aspects of marriage (life goals, children, etc.).  When he brought it up in front of his friends, I knew he was really serious.

Of course, being the one who he did the above shortly after getting my ring in May 2008, and he didn't propose for a year and a half later, I didn't know he was READY to marry me until he proposed, even if I had known that he wanted to for over a year previous.

jeanacorina

Wow, this is a hard question!

Easier answer: I was ready to marry him the day I got in my car (packed full of all the stuff it could hold) in West Virginia to drive to Louisiana to live with him. Up until then, marriage was a nice idea that I knew I wanted someday. But when I got on the interstate heading south, I knew that I would marry Josh the moment he was ready as well.

He took waaaaay longer.

I think he was ready to marry ME before he was ready to get married. Does that make sense? I'm his first relationship. Like, at all. We weren't expecting to find each other. He had his whole life plotted out and then along came Jeana and he got all mixed up and confused and fell in love and so on. I think maybe that's why he gave me a promise ring. Roll your eyes all you want, but I didn't ask for it. I think it was his way of saying "I want to marry you someday, but I'm not ready to do it yet." That was several years ago!

He wasn't ready to GET MARRIED until he had all the things he "needed" in order to feel ready (graduated college, stable job, etc). I knew he was really going to propose when I was sitting at the kitchen table and he came in, sat down, and said "So.... if I ask you to marry me, you'll say yes... right?"

Before that I figured he was getting around to being ready, but when he said that (and he was actually NERVOUS even though I've told him a thousand times I wanted to marry him) I knew he either had the ring or was about to get it. Apparently he sucks at surprises.

emarston1

1.  He was ready as soon as we graduated college.  If it was up to him, he would have proposed on our graduation day.  I was actually the hold out in the relationship.  I knew we would get married eventually but I definitely wasn't ready to be a wife.

I was finally ready this past summer (2 years after graduation.)  I think his brother's engagement really helped me prepare myself.  FI and I had a talk in July about engagements/wedding and I told him I was finally ready.  He bought the ring 2 weeks later.

2.  I knew he wanted to marry me after we had been dating a for awhile.  We would talk about our future and it was just assumed that we would both be there.  I don't remember any spefic moment though...