Shhhh...Not PG

coastiegrl25

How do you keep you sex life interesting?? Some people might not have made it to that part in their relationship, and some might not feel comfortable talking about it. So I'm sorry if it offends anyone. Do y'all have sex everyday? Is it wild/crazy or just in the bedroom with lights off? What keeps you interested? If this is too much, by all means Loopy; delete. I am just curious as to see what others do when a slump comes along. I know in my relationship, it has (not always) had a slump to where it got boring and I got to where I could go with or without it. Thank goodness that was just a little phase, but would like to know if and when it happens again...how to get out of it?

tafft1

I'm going to have to skirt the line by responding to this..but the best way to keep things from being so mundane is to communicate , talk about what excites you and why - maybe introduce new elements into the mix - even pure vanilla can use some spice time to time. Don't be afraid of exploring things - there isn't anything wrong with you or your partner - most men ( in my experience at least) have some things they enjoy and may be worried what you will think of them and maybe even vice versa - it shouldn't matter as long as you both keep an open mind and look at it together as a couple.

There are so many great books on this as well - along with the internet - and yes there is more than porn out there Breaking a routine can sometimes help too. Just be spontaneous , do something unexpected , be waiting for him when he comes home if that's possible or buy or wear soemthing you feel sexy in - self confidence goes a long way. More than anything though just have fun

[Deleted User]

I think the fact that BF works out of state and is only home 3 days a week minimizes the risk of it getting boring... lol

But, I did have phases like that in my previous relationship... 4 years with someone could be full of boring moments... I think my solution then was time, as well... I was never the 'every day' type...

coastiegrl25

Thanks ladies...I knew it wasn't gonna get a big response.  I'm glad that it was really only once and when I look back I was going through a lot of stress at the time. 

tafft1

Coastie - YGPM

coastiegrl25

Tafft. Thanks YGPM back..

GreenPepperBurger

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaAw-xRro5g

PandaBurr

I think stress is a huge issue. Also, ditto Taft about confidence. Attitude makes such a huge difference.

loves2shop4shoes

Ok, I'll take the bait.

FI and I don't have sex every day.  Back when we first started dating, we had sex 2-3 times per day.  Now, we have sex around 2-3 times per week.  Apparently it's normal for things to slow down with time, stress, and busy schedules.

We always do it with the lights on.  Also, we try different variations on positions we know we both like.  We mix up the foreplay too.  Some of our best sex has been really spontaneous too.

For example, one day he came home from work, and he looked really hot.  I don't know why exactly.  But I jumped him as soon as he closed the front door.  We did not make it to the bed.

So, spontaneity is key, as is communication and variety.  

Also, mix up where you do it.  You don't want to have the exact same routine ALL the time.

coastiegrl25

I think routine/stress has a big role in it.  I appreciate those of you who are comfortable posting here...it does help some others who need it.  It takes a big person to admit they need help especially in that area.  Especially when they know its within themselves, and not the SO's fault. 

forthepocket

Me and my bf recently hit an issue here. We went without doing it for a month and I didn't even notice. Even before that it was normal for us to go 2 weeks without. When we finally did I was really sore the next day. Sorry if that's TMI and I mentioned it to my bf. He said "Yeah we haven't done it in a month." Stress was a HUGE factor for us. It was mainly my fault I hadn't been paying enough attention to him because work has been stressful and being maid of honor in my friend's wedding was draining my finances. But when he said he was starting to worry I wasn't attracted to him anymore I knew I needed to invest more time into our relationship romantically. This was all very recent. About 2 weeks ago and things are so much better now. We do it about 2 times per week and he's a lot less moody lol. So I would say talk to him and if there's something specific you have in mind do it! Visit an adult store or try some role playing or be more spontaneous. Try not to let the stress in your life ruin your sex life like I did. Sorry this became a long post but good luck!

redheadtmk

i havent had this issue with current SO yet. he lives in an all guy christian mens house with 7 other roommates. the only house rule regarding females is that he is not supposed to have the door shut tight when we are in his room alone together.  he is the only one in the house not raised in a christian family so he is also the only one who is not waiting for marriage. we manage to sneak in quickies when no one else is home in various parts of the 3 story house. the risk of being caught, plus changing scenery helps to liven things up. we do it at my apartment occasionally. we mostly have sex outdoors while traveling, hiking, camping, or kayaking,    we will do it several days in a row, or couple times a week, or sometimes will go over a week or two w/o doing it. just depends on our schedules w/ work and school. and how many people are in the house.   stress does make a big difference for us. finals week and midterms =no nookie for me!

calindi

Typically, every day.  Once, if not twice or more.  But we've gone days, even weeks, without sex before when one of us is super busy or stressed.

Honestly, we have more sex when he exercises a lot.  That also tends to be in inverse proportion to his stress level, so conversely when he's stressed we don't have as much sex.

We just have fun with it - we're both very sexual people, have both had significant experience before we started dating, and are very open about communicating about our interests and needs.  We've tried some creative stuff, some kinky stuff, and in general just enjoyed the experiences (good or bad).  Of course we've had days (weeks) where the sex has been rote and a little monotonous, but those moments we use to enjoy simply being close to each other in that way rather than outrageous orgasms.  And then there are the days where he makes my eyes cross and totally forget where I am... yeah, I wouldn't trade him for anything!

PaigeMcC

Sex is good.  Mix it up.  Have it often.  

That's all I've got =P

Plumbb2

Take things slow, don't rush it, and just play, like it is no big deal if you have sex or not but if it leads to that then great. Those are the best times, and it always leads to that for us.

callalily13

sex in public is quite fun. We started dating at 16 almost 17 but didnt start having sex until we were both 18. Both of our parents are over protective, so we had a lot of sex in cars and on the top of a hill after hikes. It was exhilarating and fun. Now that I have my own place it is much easier to have sex in a bed with comfort but at times we still do it in one of our cars for the fun to spice things up. We arent able to do it as much as we want since we are 2 hrs away from each other and see each other about every other week, but when we do we do it about 4 times in a single day.