Horrified.

GreenPepperBurger

http://www.j-walk.com/other/goodwife/index.htm

Now, I know that this might be a fake. But there were very similiar articles published within the timeframe. And yes, I know things were different back then. But still.

I was reading this with BF last night, and he was quite amused by my incredulous reactions.

LizzyTish88

I took a motherhood class this past semester and we looked into this in detail. It was amusing because half the class (boys included) still feel this way and think in the same manner. Gotta love being a Sociology major!

PaigeMcC

"Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours."

this made me lol.

tafft1

I may be flamed for this but I seriously was born in the wrong era - I also was brought up in a 1950's household mentality so this is basically how life was at my house - not to every extreme mind you but there are alot of similarities there. It's how I always envisioned my life in some ways. Now the BIG difference I should note is when this was supposeldy written this was the "guideline" for ALL women , which I do NOT agree with. Back then it was acceptable regardless even if it wasn't a choice or desire.

Now I have several friends that do live this way of life by choice - basically the husband is the last word on things and some things in the article are used as a guideline for their life. It is about choice here obviously which I feel makes the difference. It's just how I feel and these are just my feelings and opinions on it, I personally find it fascinating and can still giggle at the article and understand both sides

bajediva

"Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work."

I don't know why we're making fun of this - many of the statements, like this one above, are SO right. I mean, there is NO way that the minor annoyance he causes by drinking all night, sleeping somewhere else, and just not being there to secure his wife and children, could possibly compare to the catastrophe of his paper cut.

hetshup

Soooo.... If I am the primary breadwinner, do I get this too?

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:e74d5844-2ebf-4096-956a-d205f104775a">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]Soooo.... If I am the primary breadwinner, do I get this too?
Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]


Duh of course ! <3  ;)

hetshup

I shall send this to FI then. I can't tell you the last time I got home to a fully cooked meal and a pillow for my feet.

GreenPepperBurger

My BF had a looong discussion about this. He feels that this guideline is outdated and obviously sexist and misogynistic, but he actually did agree with some things, like, "be happy to see him." His words? "Of course I want my wife to be happy to see me when I come home!" And he also agreed that women should not greet their husbands with complaints and problems. Of course I feel that way too, but I can't help it that I'm a Jewish girl and our stereotypes about complaining are pretty much true (at least for me! )

Tafft - I don't judge anyone who does this by choice. It's just ridiculous to me that this was presented as the end all and be all for women. Sheesh!

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:0cdbfb4a-b700-4e0c-9ec0-e82d825405d9">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE] Tafft - I don't judge anyone who does this by choice. It's just ridiculous to me that this was presented as the end all and be all for women. Sheesh!
Posted by GreenPepperBurger[/QUOTE]

Yeah that was my point :) My parents were older and were married in 1960 , so it was expected back then even. But yeah it should not be the end all be all , for anyone ;)

LizzyTish88

Yeah to clarify what I said- I don't think any less of people who still act and feel this way. I just think its interesting how differently people approach the subject. I also agree with some of the statements, however some I also feel are completely out there. I apologize if I offended anyone, that is not what I meant.

aperitisa

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:0cb5cb04-c5bd-40af-aa3b-f636cfb545ec">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]" Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours." this made me lol.
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]
This was my favorite as well. Goodness!

catemeg

The spirit of these guidelines is okay, it's the "he's more important" parts that are offensive (in my opinion).

I love having a meal ready for my BF when he comes home, and I'll often give him a massage if he's had a stressful day and let him vent about whatever is stressing him out.  I try to do thoughtful things to make his life happier and easier, because it's always good to treat each other well.  The difference is that we do these things now out of love, not a sense of duty and subordination. 

And that he gives me the same thoughtfulness - I got home last night to a clean house, pot roast in the crockpot, an open bottle of wine with two glasses, and flowers - with a note that said, "My class will be a bit late tonight, but I want you to relax and enjoy yourself in the meantime! I love you more than I can say."  It makes me smile and feel really special and loved, and that's exactly how I want him to feel, too.

Acrosthec

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:e74d5844-2ebf-4096-956a-d205f104775a">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]Soooo.... If I am the primary breadwinner, do I get this too?
Posted by hetshup[/QUOTE]

As the [hopeful, if I get the job I applied for] breadwinner in our home, I say yes.  Especially since FI would work 10 minutes from home, and I would have an hour commute.  You get home first, you get to feed the dogs, straighten the house, and cook dinner.  I'll clean the dishes.

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:8e9dd829-ca91-4394-a87a-67e70fa6b086">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah to clarify what I said- I don't think any less of people who still act and feel this way. I just think its interesting how differently people approach the subject. I also agree with some of the statements, however some I also feel are completely out there. I apologize if I offended anyone, that is not what I meant.
Posted by cdechristopher[/QUOTE]

I doubt anyone was offended honestly. Everyone has a right to their opinion and way of life as long as it is not truly harmful imo :)

GreenPepperBurger

My favorite bit was offering to take off his shoes. Really? You've had SUCH a hard day at work that you can't even bend?

LizzyTish88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:f7fc57b8-2357-4c48-9b7f-0e6b124aa17d">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Horrified. : I doubt anyone was offended honestly. Everyone has a right to their opinion and way of life as long as it is not truly harmful imo :)
Posted by tafft1[/QUOTE]

Okay good. I just re-read what I wrote and realized it wasn't how I had wanted it to come out so I felt I had to clarify.

As a side note- these woman also had to be excellent in bed.. or their marriage would fail. It was said that if you had a failing marriage that you were lacking in bed, and they had books and classes to teach you how to be better so as to save your marriage.

prasad007

I read these in this funny little book, I think it is called "Confessions of a Slacker Wife"-- pretty funny stuff.

I object to these 'guidelines' saying that my opinion is not as important as my husbands, and that it is my duty to aways present a pleasant face. Also, making sure the kids are 'straightened up'. I just don't see the point-- the kids and thier father should both just be who they are around each other. If the kids just did a big craft project, what does it matter if he sees them with paint on thier faces and paper bits in their hair? He should be happy that they are having fun... I guess I'm just not cut out to be a 1950's wife.

jemmini6

remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

wow...really?  LOL

leia1979

Hetshup and Acro, I'm on board with you. I don't know if I qualify as the "primary breadwinner," but I do make more and work farther away than my BF. I used to get home before BF and start dinner, but now that I work 3x farther away, that's not happening very often.

TuffysMommie

I remember hearing once that this list is not true. Snopes has it listed as "undetermined"

http://www.snopes.com/language/document/goodwife.asp

and:

"....this article may be a fake. Snopes's jury is still out on that, but they do know the picture accompanying it never appeared with any real article. It was taken from a 1957 cover of another magazine."

From: http://marriage.families.com/blog/the-good-wifes-guide

So although it can spark a good discussion, it may be photoshopped and created...just so we can have a good discussion about it. It may not be true, and may not have appeared in a textbook, as stated (and as OP mentioned)

sapphirebaby926

Am I the only one who thinks that the term breadwinner is stange? I mean I get what it means and all but DH never comes home and says 'Hey hon I won bread!!'

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:90ca77b3-a823-4367-87d4-39e9bd3d4f14">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]Am I the only one who thinks that the term breadwinner is stange? I mean I get what it means and all but DH never comes home and says 'Hey hon I won bread!!'
Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]


lol I adore you :)

sapphirebaby926

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_horrified?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:3fd49610-4595-43d8-b794-d3a60a804c25Post:b9f6b273-bac7-4d22-8399-7e7fea988147">Re: Horrified.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Horrified. : lol I adore you :)
Posted by tafft1[/QUOTE]

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