I have the urge to throw something

tuarceatha

My parents are seperating. My mom called to tell me its official today. My dad moves out March 1st, they discussed who gets what furniture/tvs etc.
I know I'm one of millions in this situtation, and I knew it was coming for almost a year now? Maybe longer if you consider when I first heard them discussing it back in high school... It just sucks. I have a sister in elementary school that deals with them every day. And another off in college. Those girls haven't had the chance to love a man who is true to them. They just know my dad. And my parents' failed marriage.
I'm trying to locate a counselor, so I promise not to go on and on about this... but I bring it up here because I have this fear that my parents' problems are influencing my BF's decision on when to propose. Sounds like a reasonable connection, right? Why would he want their negative lives to overlap with what should be a gleeful time?
(I'm angry, I might find a pillow to punch this weekend when my BF isn't around.... Gotta contain the crazy to the internet message boards...?) so sad for my broken family.

PaigeMcC

I'm really sorry to hear this, hun.  But I am also a big believer in doing what is best for yourself and your family...if they're unhappy and it's impacting the family then they need to move on in their lives.  Shittay situation, but it's the truth...you don't want them to be miserable.  I understand being worried about your sisters as well and I believe that talking to someone is a great choice.  Find someone they, and you, are comfortable with and go from there.  Sometimes, it's even easier to talk to big sis (I am a big sis...I get it).  Just make sure to check on them, chat with them about their feelings and assure them that you're here for them if they need anything.  

As for the BF thing, I believe that you can't let other people's relationships impact your own.  This is your (and BF's) life.  No one elses.  Make choices that are right for you, based on your feelings, beliefs, etc.  No one elses' relationship should effect how yours proceeds.

Good luck, darlin'.  

marleylikeair

Oh, jen, so sorry to hear it!

I second everything Paige said. And you don't have to think of your family as a broken family. I'm sure your parents both love all of you just as much as they always did, and that's what makes a family; not staying together even though they were unhappy.

Sending you some good vibes and hugs!

niknik15

I know this must be really hard for you right now. My parents got divorced when I was young. Looking back on it now, I am glad they did. They weren't meant to be together and seeing them happy now and not having to live with the tension growing up was definitely worth it.

AbigailMS

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_urge-throw-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4074ff12-62bd-45ec-ac16-d548e9caca7bPost:c84fe5bc-023d-4ba6-83cf-dcf8134b0506">Re: I have the urge to throw something</a>:
[QUOTE]I know this must be really hard for you right now. My parents got divorced when I was young. Looking back on it now, I am glad they did. They weren't meant to be together and seeing them happy now and not having to live with the tension growing up was definitely worth it.
Posted by niknik15[/QUOTE]

<div>Samesies. It sucks now, but if everyone involved is going to be happier and healthier because of it...then it's one of those things that just needs to happen. Sorry girl. :(</div>

bourgehm

I'm sorry. I imagine that would be really though.

If they're fighting all the time it will probably be best to be seperate, but it sucks none the less. I'm sorry. Let  us know how you're doing later!

tuarceatha

I completey agree that my parents will each be happier apart. That's the best thing about this. I'm worried how long it will take my littest sister to understand that, or even my other sister. I will just have to be satisfied with being there to listen and to be leaned on when they need me.

And I hope it doesn't influence our relationship, so maybe I should mention something like what sunbird said to him...

Thank you all for sending your kind words and good vibes! I feel less sad for now. And I have plans to chat with my sister during my commute home today so that'll be good.