Oh really...

HisMrsJ

So a weekend ago I sat with my boyfriend who told me that He was thinking, about thinking, about picking out a ring for me. Its getting to be about that time..."
Well what the heck does that mean?
He says that he wants it to be really special when he proposes so I have a story to tell all my friends.....He must mean the story to tell his friends because I don't have that many. (I just don't have time to sit in Vegas and gabb poolside with my friends nowadays).
I know he means well. He wants me to be paitent, I think he figured he bought himself some nag free time. So I told him him, He has ONE year to stop thinking, and get to being married. And he also was informed that as soon as that ring comes out of the box we are headed to the alter.

Swazzle

Yikes. I'd have something better (something that moves) except I'm on my phone.

IrishDreamer

Rdr - you're slacking!!!

OP - Ummmm wtf. You are crazypants. That's all I've got....Your post made my head hurt,

lennonkdc

Well seeing as your profile has a wedding date of April 2013, it would seem he really has less then a year. 

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:41193618-101d-4a50-acbe-4c556281dc7fPost:f85493d5-8f0b-436a-8ae9-240b00a59ff2">Re: Oh really...</a>:
[QUOTE]Also you spelled "altar" wrong.
Posted by hellotarra[/QUOTE]



And "gab" and "patient".

tsuiyo

Why is marriage so important to you?  Do you feel outside pressure to get married?  Do you think him marrying you will prove something?  Maybe you feel it's the next natural step.  

But if you want to marry him, because you want to be with him fovever (declare your love to the world, etc.) then it's best to not think about it and let him get there when he gets there.  Unless you're willing to get on one knee and ask him yourself.  

Otherwise consider what benefit nagging gets you.  Do you really want him to ask you to marry him when he's not sure and he's just doing it to get you to shut up?  That doesn't sound like a great foundation to a marriage.

bethsmiles

Ultimatum = HORRIBLE idea. It puts pressure on your relationship that shouldn't be there.

What you need to do is have a grown up conversation with him about your relationship and where it is headed. You sound like a brat in your post.

LilTexasGal

It is never a good idea to give a guy the marriage ultimatum. If he doesn't want to lose you he may put a rush on the whole marriage thing and get married before he is ready. I know you really want him to propose, but doing this will not get you the real results you want and could backfire on you.

Yes, you're free to set your own timeline - but if you're insistent on doing this, might I suggest keeping that bit quiet? Then, in a year from now, if the relationship hasn't made progress towards marriage you re-evaluate and have an adult conversation with him. If he still isn't ready for marriage, and you're not willing to wait for him to be ready, then you have to make the call. But trying to put pressure on him is not a good idea. There are other ways to let him know you see yourself taking the next step towards marriage in a year without the sinister undertone.

Again, I cannot reiterate enough how bad an idea it is to put this kind of pressure on a relationship. If he isn't ready, he isn't ready, and an ultimatum isn't going to make him ready.

kaitlynmichelle

That's a terrible idea.  I can't stand ultimatums.  Have an adult conversation about what you want from the relationship, but don't pressure him into proposing if he isn't ready.  

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:41193618-101d-4a50-acbe-4c556281dc7fPost:a8b39295-cda5-46d7-9e7e-81f15a542c16">Oh really...</a>:
[QUOTE]So a weekend ago I sat with my boyfriend who told me that He was thinking, about thinking, about picking out a ring for me. Its getting to be about that time..." Well what the heck does that mean? He says that he wants it to be really special when he proposes so I have a story to tell all my friends.....He must mean the story to tell his friends because I don't have that many.<strong> (I just don't have time to sit in Vegas and gabb poolside with my friends nowadays)</strong>. I know he means well. He wants me to be paitent, I think he figured he bought himself some nag free time. So I told him him, He has ONE year to stop thinking, and get to being married. And he also was informed that as soon as that ring comes out of the box we are headed to the alter.
Posted by HisMrsJ[/QUOTE]

<div>1. You are crazypants.</div><div>
</div><div>2. WTF does this have to do with anything?  I doubt any of us hang out with our BFFs at the pools in Vegas every night.  Hell, I haven't seen my BFF in about 6 months.</div><div>
</div><div>3. You need to sit down, reign the crazy in, and re-evaluate your relationship.  Siriusly.  You make my head hurt.</div><div>
</div><div>4.  I knew you were hiding crazy in there when you showed up with "HisMrsJ".  THEY ALWAYS END UP CRAZY.</div><div>
</div>

loves2shop4shoes

You, m'dear, should be focused on getting some education.  That post was rambling, incoherent, and devoid of basic logical reasoning.

Also, you don't need to capitalize "he" when speaking about your BF...he's not God.

HisMrsJ

Ouch. You girls are mean. Oh well...on to my real life.

Swazzle

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:41193618-101d-4a50-acbe-4c556281dc7fPost:0979ea67-87c8-4bef-a05c-79f336811977">Re: Oh really...</a>:
[QUOTE]Ouch. <strong>You girls are mean.</strong> Oh well...on to my real life.
Posted by HisMrsJ[/QUOTE]

<div>Never heard that before. </div><div>
</div><div>Good luck with your "real life" aka forcing your BF to marry you. Please come back after your year is up & let us know how that worked out for you. </div>

peekaboo2011

Are you offended?

Have a cupcake.

HisMrsJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:41193618-101d-4a50-acbe-4c556281dc7fPost:ec6f3ddc-eece-4ca4-9222-7fa06eebb634">Re: Oh really...</a>:
[QUOTE]Are you offended? Have a cupcake.
Posted by peekaboo2011[/QUOTE]

No not offended. Just had to get back to work....break over ya know.

HisMrsJ

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:41193618-101d-4a50-acbe-4c556281dc7fPost:1d0a34e6-9066-40be-b75b-1c6c8c461e2d">Re: Oh really...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh really... : Never heard that before.  Good luck with your "real life" aka<em><font color="#800000"> </font></em><strong><em><font color="#800000">forcing your BF to marry you</font></em>.</strong> Please come back after your year is up & let us know how that worked out for you. 
Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

As if I could. He either marries me or dosen't.
 Any bets?

peekaboo2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_oh-really?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:41193618-101d-4a50-acbe-4c556281dc7fPost:5fde0c7d-5c7f-4094-9dbf-0fc9db8add87">Re: Oh really...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Oh really... : As if I could. He either marries me or dosen't.  Any bets?
Posted by HisMrsJ[/QUOTE]

<div>Unnecessary.  I bet on crazypants already.  So, I won.</div>