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When did you "know?" (sort of long)

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Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:d4e40593-e3b2-44d0-8cc2-ea3da9541e6d">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]First off, my mom just asked me this same question last week. Too funny. Anyways, I understand your concern for your friend, but I think it really comes down to the person. I didn't have a moment that I can remember. I just got used to the idea of being with him as long as he would be with me. I like who I am with him. I like who he is on his own. I like us together. I love his family.<strong> And I want all of his babies.</strong>
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]
    <p> </p><p>Jen, this made me smile.  You, my dear, are adorable!</p><p> </p><p>I also agree with what Allusive had to say, like ALL of it.  If it wasn't B, it would be a different relationship with different perks and annoyances, but I know he is not the only person on the earth I could love.  </p><p> </p><p>We had been acquaintances for about a year before anything happened between us.  When I first began to realize I might be interested in him, what I noticed first was how different (in a positive way) he was from the other men I have dated.  I knew that 2 years into our relationship that I still had a crush on him and would get giddy about spending time together.  </p><p> </p><p>When I knew that I wanted to commit to him in a deep and meaningful way was actually about 3 months into our relationship.  I did something very stupid that could have risked his trust and our future.  When we talked, I was trembling, and all I could think of was how sure I was that I did not want to lose him.  In the end, he forgave me and said that what stood out most to him about the whole thing was how deeply I felt about him.  I can't say that I would have been ready to marry him at that moment, but I knew that he was who I wanted as my partner for the long term.</p>
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  • SwazzleSwazzle New Jersey member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:33c08411-22dc-47a7-bb22-96f4318f1ed7">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I sort of have a different opinion.  I DO agree that a person can be compatible with many people, and can fall in love with multiple people. But I do believe in soul mates.  So, while I think you can love multiple people, <strong>I think there is one person that will be more right for you than anyone else could be...</strong>
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    <div>In the WHOLE world though? I guess I have a hard time seeing this personally because really how could you ever possibly know?</div>



  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:6da8314f-45e1-4437-834a-f7b62befbd92">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long) : In the WHOLE world though? I guess I have a hard time seeing this personally because really how could you ever possibly know?
    Posted by rdr716[/QUOTE]

    <div>I don't think you can every really know, but I think it's a leap of faith.  At least for me, I have a really hard time believing that there could be anyone more perfect for me than M.</div>
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  • I know many of you are not at all religious, and I can't really say that I am either but I wanted to share this story as it has stuck with me for the last 10 years.
    So, I used to be the wedding cantor at our church way back when. I've heard hundreds of wedding homilies, but there was one that stuck out. This priest had a way of talking to you in such a loving way that you forgot there were tons of people sitting right behind you. He said to the couple, "Jane, isn't it amazing that of all the paths you could have taken, and all the places you have been, of all the people you have met and could have met, that God led you right to John?" He then turned to 'John' and said the same thing.
    There was more, that I can't remember, but it was a moment where I felt at peace with the fact that I didn't have to keep 'searching' for the one. Our paths were going to cross at some point. Do I know if it was God, himself, who caused it all to happen? The universe? Or any other force larger than me? I don't know what caused it. I do know that I can't begin to imagine anyone more perfect for me and Bean than el senor. He's the peanut butter to my jelly. And, like Jen, I want all of his babies. Now.

    "Stuart was scared, but he loved Margalo, Mommy. And there is nothing bigger than love." -The Bean
     "His farts smell like Satan's asshole mixed with a skunk's vagina. But it's okay, because I love him." -CSousa









  • I didn't have a strong moment. I didn't like my FI when we first met. He was my law school classmate and I thought he dressed badly, was sort of obnoxious, and I didn't think he was cute, at all. Once I got to know him, I realized that what I thought was obnoxious was actually a really light and fun personality that balances out my cynicism. Looks-wise, my best friend met him by chance and literally said to me "you are f-in crazy, he is soooo cute." I took another look at him and realized yea, he was! His shitty wardrobe and the other things I thought I knew about him colored what I thought about his (really)handsome mug and ripped body. He did dress badly, I wasn't wrong on that one! But once we started dating and he upped his game, I realized he was the ultimate keeper.

    He told me he loved me after we dated for a couple of months, and said "but thats not all" and I said well, what else is there? And he said " I feel like I am going to marry you"

    I am pretty sure in that instant, my mind just went yea, you are. It was just an easier fit than I had ever had with anyone. He always keeps me laughing, and we can stay up all night talking. There was no pro-con list, no intentional thought. I just knew that he was right when he said that, and that we would have a really good life when we got married.

    I don't believe in love at first sight, or that there is one person for everyone, but I do believe that when you are with the right person, your heart and mind settle down. I think that's where the "knowing" comes from. All it really is is confidence that you are making a really good decision.
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  • suzie211suzie211 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    FI and I met online.  So there was a lot of emailing and phone conversations before our first date.  I know I left our first date thinking he was special, but I didn't think I would marry him someday.  He was different than anyone else I had been with in a good way.  I felt at ease with him, and right away wasn't putting up the walls that I had in so many other relationships.

    But my moment came sitting in the waiting room of my hometown hospital.  I was supposed to be on my way out of town for a snowboarding trip and FI called to tell me to have a good time.  Instead of in WI he found me sitting in hospital waiting to find out what was wrong with my dad.  He called every day to check on my mom and I.  On my worst day, having listened to numerous doctors without answers he sat on the phone and just listened to me ramble.  I later realized it was his birthday.  His only concern at that moment was me and a family he hadn't met yet.  I had let my wall down to him.

    He calms me.  I can be having the worlds worst day and the minute he walks in the room its like everything stops.  

    I've been in love with other people, but the connection I have with FI is different.  It does't mean I didn't love them.  I just think there's more to what I have with FI. Sometimes it's hard to describe.  I couldn't imagine growing old with anyone else.


    ETA: grammar
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  • I was reading through the new responses and for a second there I was like "when did I reach gold status?" I was seriously excited until I realized TK has given gold badges to everyone today. Waa Waa

    Jen - sorry I mistook you. The person who posted the quote is someone from TK..but I don't recognize most gals by their real names...so I wasn't sure.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:9305e9df-6e3d-4208-9b46-95e5b39e07c2">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I was reading through the new responses and for a second there I was like "when did I reach gold status?" I was seriously excited until I realized TK has given gold badges to everyone today. Waa Waa</strong> Jen - sorry I mistook you. The person who posted the quote is someone from TK..but I don't recognize most gals by their real names...so I wasn't sure.
    Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]

    Yeah, TK gives everyone the same badge as whoever has the top post on the page.  If you post on a newb's thread, you'll get to see yourself as a newb again!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:9305e9df-6e3d-4208-9b46-95e5b39e07c2">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I was reading through the new responses and for a second there I was like "when did I reach gold status?" I was seriously excited until I realized TK has given gold badges to everyone today. Waa Waa Jen - sorry I mistook you. The person who posted the quote is someone from TK..but I don't recognize most gals by their real names...so I wasn't sure.
    Posted by allusive007[/QUOTE]

    No worries!
  • Elle, I know how you feel. When FI's sis got married w/in 6 months of meeting her H, all they could say was they just 'knew' and I really wondered why FI, after dating me for 7 yrs at that point still didn't 'know'. That's when I found you awesome ladies :)

    TBH I don't know that I ever had that 'ZOMG I just knew' moment, and like many of the PP I don't believe in the 'one'. After 10 years I know that I have days I look at FI and feel my whole being radiate with joy b/c he's just that awesome, and then I have days where I think...till death do us part is gonna feel like an eternity...Yell

    Would it be nice to have some-whirlwind-rom-com-Nickolas Sparks type- smaltzy "when you know you know" type love story? Sure, what girl doesn't dream of being swept off her feet. But as I woman, I'll take a great guy who's stood by me through thick and thin, has a cute butt and adores me just as I am. 





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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:aa7347df-a762-43a2-9b8b-297ea4d6b2c8">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>H is not "the only one", but he is "the chosen one".  </strong>I also don't believe that there is ONE person out there, but he is the ONE person that I have chosen to spend my life with based on compatibility, chemistry, personality traits, shared values and goals, etc. also, I just want to post this video, because everytime this type of discussion comes up, I think of this video.  and that was way too many commas. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XlOSiLkeic" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XlOSiLkeic</a> horrible quality, sorry ladies.
    Posted by CocoBellaF[/QUOTE]

    I love this! I'm going to tell H he's the chosen one.

    I agree with what you've said above. I believe in a world with billions of people that it's incredibly likely there is more than one person you'd be compatible with. It's just a matter of which compatible person your path crosses with.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:5348b8b7-8436-4336-826e-f9c5c8121518">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long) :   <strong>Jen, this made me smile.  You, my dear, are adorable! </strong>  I also agree with what Allusive had to say, like ALL of it.  If it wasn't B, it would be a different relationship with different perks and annoyances, but I know he is not the only person on the earth I could love.     We had been acquaintances for about a year before anything happened between us.  When I first began to realize I might be interested in him, what I noticed first was how different (in a positive way) he was from the other men I have dated.  I knew that 2 years into our relationship that I still had a crush on him and would get giddy about spending time together.     When I knew that I wanted to commit to him in a deep and meaningful way was actually about 3 months into our relationship.  I did something very stupid that could have risked his trust and our future.  When we talked, I was trembling, and all I could think of was how sure I was that I did not want to lose him.  In the end, he forgave me and said that what stood out most to him about the whole thing was how deeply I felt about him.  I can't say that I would have been ready to marry him at that moment, but I knew that he was who I wanted as my partner for the long term.
    Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]

    Aw! Thanks.
    I really need to shut up about the babies. I swear I'll drop the topic eventually...
  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:6b465507-4981-4d0a-bbe2-9b3ce7705a4b">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long) : Aw! Thanks. I really need to shut up about the babies. I swear I'll drop the topic eventually...
    Posted by jenjenniferf[/QUOTE]

    <div>No you won't.  You'll get KTFU, and then you'll talk about your impending baby and then you'll have the kid and you'll talk about poop and spit up and breastfeeding, and then you'll talk about how tired you are and you never want another one, and then you'll get KTFU again, and the cycle repeats.</div><div>
    </div><div>I'm totally good with that, as long as we can still have wine.</div>
    I french with my man
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  • I agree with a lot of what other people have already said here. 

    I knew that BF was special almost immediately. When he told me he would call me right after we met, somehow I knew that he would. I also had a feeling that he would be in my life after that; I even told a friend that I thought I had met someone that weekend. 

    There are a thousand little moments that I could talk about that lead my to choosing him as the person I want to spend my life with, but I don't think I could really nail down one of them that was more important than the others. 

    I also think there is more than one person out there for everyone. I really like the idea that Bean presented that there are many different paths that can lead a person to different places in life, and that it IS amazing how many little things have to line up to lead you where you are and who you are with right now. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:33c08411-22dc-47a7-bb22-96f4318f1ed7">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I sort of have a different opinion.  I DO agree that a person can be compatible with many people, and can fall in love with multiple people.
    But I do believe in soul mates.  So, while I think you can love multiple people, I think there is one person that will be more right for you than anyone else could be...
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    All of this.

    I know I'm really late to the party but  reading all of the stories has been wonderful.

    FI and I have been best friends since the diaper days. I'd always thought he was kind, cute and talented but never thought of him as more then a best friend. I think what really got the ball rolling was about three years ago when my family was up in SD visiting my aunt, his next door neighbor. We got into town early in the morning and like the good best friend I was, I went over to his house and scared him awake. The next day I woke up to a text saying, "I was going to scare you awake, but how could I wake up a sleeping angle. -J" For some reason I couldn't wait for him to get home from work and I couldn't figure out why. It bugged me for months, the feeling that silly little text gave me. Fast forward another year, J and I where hanging out when it hit me so I just told him flat out that I thought I liked him more then a friend. His response, "That'd be weird." Two months later he called to let me know he thought he felt the same and a few months of talking about it we started dating.

    Our moment: Five months after we started dating we where talking on skype and well it's hard to explain but both realized together at the same time that we where going to not only get married but take on life together. That's the moment when it stopped being about me or him but started being about us.

    As childish and as foolish as it sounds, I do believe in soul mates. I used to not believe in them but now I truly believe FI is mine.
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  • edited January 2013
    When I met my FI, I knew that somehow he would be in my life always. I didn't know if we would just be close friends or something more ... I just knew he would be there. 

    The first couple of months after we met, I resisted him. I was dating other guys and not really paying him any mind. I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about him, because I'd never met someone like him before. He was 100% confident in how he felt about me and I was confused. Even after a couple of months of dating, while he was falling in love me, I was pushing him away. Until one day I realized that he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I needed to be with him forever. 

    After that we both fell hard. I mean hard. Every moment I have with him is pure joy and I feel in my heart and soul that we are meant for each other. From this point on I could get really disgustingly mushy, so I'm going to stop now.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_when-did-you-know-sort-of-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:45065d97-d7fa-4f02-af50-2532d995cafdPost:33c08411-22dc-47a7-bb22-96f4318f1ed7">Re: When did you "know?" (sort of long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]I sort of have a different opinion.  I DO agree that a person can be compatible with many people, and can fall in love with multiple people. But I do believe in soul mates.  So, while I think you can love multiple people, I think there is one person that will be more right for you than anyone else could be...
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    <div>I completely agree with this.</div>
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  • I met my BF online. I had never been the first person to send a message but I seen a post from him about it being his birthday weekend. I sent him a message and asked if he had a birthday date yet. He responded "no." I told him I was going out for a drink and dancing that night if he wanted to join me. He drove an hour a nd 20 minutes to meet me. He was at my house 3 times that week. And has spent Friday-Monday at my house ever since. We have spent nights on the phone for 5 hours. He just tells me "talk to me. I love hearing you just talk about anything. " My heart melts.

    I spent the last year and a half getting over a 17 year abusive relationship so I am very cautious and refuse to let myself be vulnerable like that agin.

    Everything with him has happened so calmly and naturally. I never imagined I could have so many feelings and emotions at the same time and not feel overwelmed. We both just know we want to be part of each other's lives for the rest of our lives. I have two teenage daughters at home and he sat them down this past weekend and told them how he felt about me and how he wanted to be a part of our family forever. I know I can say anything to him and he totally gets me. I am an emotional roller coaster sometimes and he just puts his arms around me and says "use your words." I have loved in my past but I don't believe I have ever been IN LOVE like this before in my life.
  • I don't post often but this post really struck a chord. For my fiancee and I didnt know right away either. We were both struggling with prior intense reltionships that left us gunshy and a little broken. We had some on and off moments for a bit, but then he realized he didnt want to lose me, and withina week we were engaged. I dont think I ever had that ah hah moment! Not a huge one anyway, they come to me in little pieces. When I fell down the stairs and scared myself, he held me when I cried. When he sits and talks theatre with my daughter. Or when he gets this smile on his face that just lights up everything. Those moments are what makes me realize he's it for me. We are living together now, and I feel like I am home, more than I ever have, anywhere. It also helps that our kinks mesh lol. So I understand the struggle, different people feel in different ways. This is our way.
  • edited February 2013
    Well I think you "know" after at least a year of dating. by then, I hope, you've both seen the worst you can do and if they stick around, then keep em lol and hope they train right lol
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