I think it's coming soon.....

alianne87

So last weekend, my BF and his parents decided that taking me engagement ring shopping was a good idea, and so off we went to the mall (because we're broke ho's). And there it was!!! The ultra-sparkly PERFECT ring that reminds me of my grandma's wedding ring only more updated-looking, and WITHIN OUR BUDGET!! So BF's mom whisked me away to another store whilst the menfolk talked to the lovely lady at the counter. I think he's either going to buy or has already put a downpayment on said ring, but I want to know what you all think. Please discuss.

mondovna

From having worked in a jewelry store, I'd say he at least put a down payment on it. More likely he bought it. He might not have it in his possession yet...if he knows your ring size, it's probably being sized. 

Keep us posted!

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4af86b33-7016-4056-8a17-e905d798df17Post:972aace1-a0ff-4bc7-9670-ad145f847f44">I think it's coming soon.....</a>:
[QUOTE]So last weekend, my BF and his parents decided that taking me engagement ring shopping was a good idea, and so off we went to the mall (because we're broke ho's). And there it was!!! The ultra-sparkly PERFECT ring that reminds me of my grandma's wedding ring only more updated-looking, and WITHIN OUR BUDGET!! So BF's mom whisked me away to another store whilst the menfolk talked to the lovely lady at the counter. I think he's either going to buy or has already put a downpayment on said ring, but I want to know what you all think. :) Please discuss. :)
Posted by alianne87[/QUOTE]

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zaneopal

Standard NEY answer:
There is a member on this board whose then-BF had not only bought the ring, but then had it sit out in plain view on their dresser for a year before proposing. And the converse, another member was proposed to with a zip-tie ring.

Whether or not he has the ring or is paying for it or whatever means nothing, cherie. He'll ask when he's ready to ask.

paintgirl

Yeah it's hard to say just based on seeing the right ring and him talking to the salesperson. It could be tomorrow. It could be 2 years from now. Have you talked about when you'd like to get married - a year, two, after some other event like graduation or buying a house?

Otherwise, ask. Ask him when he'd like to be married and remind him how long it takes to plan a wedding , depending on what type of wedding you both would want. Men have difficulty with calendars and clocks...

hetshup

Are you only 22? You have PLENTY of time to get engaged. I would also save up some funds that way you are better off financially when you do get married. I think it's wonderful that you found something that fits into your budget, but these things would concern me first. B\c having a sparkly ring  =/= that you should get married.


That being said, I had the diamond in my house for 7 months, and then he had it in a ring for for 3 days before I got it.

katanne9

I don't understand what you are asking.

Do I think he bought it or not? How am I supposed to know? Do you really WANT to know the answer to that?

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4af86b33-7016-4056-8a17-e905d798df17Post:f2f26b84-65c8-403b-91cc-52610bead151">Re: I think it's coming soon.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't understand what you are asking. Do I think he bought it or not? How am I supposed to know? Do you really WANT to know the answer to that?
Posted by katanne9[/QUOTE]

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jeanacorina

My FI proposed less than 24 hours after he bought the ring. Acro's FI had the ring for, like, YEARS before he popped the question. So, whether or not he bought the ring pretty much means notawholelot.

But it's nice to be excited, isn't it? Enjoy this. It's great. You'll be an old married woman who is bitter about the stresses of wedding planning before you know it!

KD+BC

Have you discussed timelines? Are you on the same page as far as life goals? Do you know how many kids you'll have or where you'll live? Basically, have you discussed marriage? How long of an engagement do you want? I looked back through some of your posts and I see that you're still in college. Do you have a job lined up yet?

Ok, that was a lot of questions. I have no clue if your bf bought the ring or not since I don't know him and I wasn't there but I only "had a feeling" FI was going to propose soon because we talked timelines. I didn't know where or exactly when the proposal was going to happen but I knew it would be within a few month span.

**Mutley**

Okay, I have to ask. 

Does anyone else think it is weird that her bf and his parents "decided that taking [her] engagement ring shopping was a good idea?"

jeanacorina

I think it's weird his parents were there.... but then.... look at my relationship with my FMIL. I don't know how to judge those kinds of things.

ekathleen684

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4af86b33-7016-4056-8a17-e905d798df17Post:4ed21095-3ab5-4dba-acaa-865cf53ac2a2">Re: I think it's coming soon.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, I have to ask.  Does anyone else think it is weird that her bf and his parents "decided that taking [her] engagement ring shopping was a good idea?"
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

Yes I do and I'm very close with BF's fam. It would be one thing if they just went to the mall to shop then went to the ring store. Going to the mall <strong>just</strong> for ring shopping with BF's parents is odd to me.

KD+BC

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4af86b33-7016-4056-8a17-e905d798df17Post:4ed21095-3ab5-4dba-acaa-865cf53ac2a2">Re: I think it's coming soon.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, I have to ask.  Does anyone else think it is weird that her bf and his parents "decided that taking [her] engagement ring shopping was a good idea?"
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]


Yes, especially because she said they went to look with his parents because they are broke. Are his parents paying for the ring?

**Mutley**

I am on the opposite side of the MIL spectrum, and I think it is freaking off. 

It would be one thing if her boyfriend asked if she wanted to go, and then they asked his parents to go.  Not my cup of tea, but hey what do I know since we got engaged without a ring. 

It somewhat sounds like he could not get the ring on his own, so he needed his daddy there.   

desertsun

Maybe they just wanted a second opinion?

My FI brought friends of ours with him when he went shopping for my ring, so...maybe the parents were just there to share their wisdom?

Like when your dad comes with you to buy your first car? (or was this just me?)

BlueBoxBride

I don't necessarily see anything wrong with OP's FH having his parents help him pick out/ pay for an engagement ring, if it is considered a gift. I know a lot of people that were gifted fabulous family rings. 

My FH consulted with his parents while he was shopping for my ring. While he could afford a modest ring by himself (he's getting his J.D. this month!) through his research side job, he comes from a family of very blingy rings. I think his mother's is a 4+ carat solitaire, cousin has a 3 carat solitaire, sister wears his grandmother's giant engagement as a RHR... He wants me to have a ring that holds its own at family and social events. Different strokes for different folks, right? Initially, he asked his mother for advice on styles and asked me if I wanted a more modest copy of his mother's ring from her custom jeweler. But honestly, I have no clue what his mother's ring setting even looks like because all you can see is a giaaaaant rock. We agreed on a Tiffany & Co. three stone round brilliant ring with over 2 cts (which on my size 3 finger will look huuuuge... gotta love having tiny hands!). His parents helped him out with purchasing the ring and I don't see anything wrong with that. They're considering it part of his law school graduation gift, he's proud of it and I will have a beautiful ring of high quality that I will adore. It's totally win/win/win. 

jeanacorina

By "FH" I assume you mean "Future FI" which means possibly your "Future Baby Daddy," right?

BlueBoxBride

Excuse me? I don't understand your post... "future baby daddy"? 

FH= future husband

What else could FH stand for? Future Hombre? Future Henchman? Fantastic Hamburger? 

We've been together and living together for over seven years. By layman definition, we are already in a common law marriage. Thank you for the concern over any possible children out of wedlock, but we have no such plans. We may get a puppy this summer after FH has taken the Bar, but we kindly ask that no one tell the puppy it is a bastard. 

Button5807

I thought you had to file paper work to enter into comon law, in the 3 states that still even have that on the books...

BlueBoxBride

Notice I said "layman."

Legal qualification is that you've had a ceremony, everyone considers your marriage as common knowledge ("of course they are married, I was at their wedding!") and the condition of this term exceeds seven years. 

Most people don't know that. So, when someone asks how long we have been together and we say, "seven years" the corresponding response is usually, "Oh, so you guys are common law/ practically married." Some people have designated terms like "fiance" years ago. And really, it's just labels and not worth nitpicking over when people just mean well and are happy you are together. 

A domestic partnership you can just sign paper work for, HTH! 

Jenni.Adams

I find it very odd. Personally I think there is a big difference between getting his parents advice on the e ring but having them pay for it is a big much IMO. It is a symbol that you are ready to start your life together but how on earth can you be ready to start your life together if you can't even affort a modest ring? By being able to start your life together that means no more help from mommy and daddy so why start off that new life with help from mommy and daddy? How will you pay for rent/car/any kids that come along? Save as long as you need to in order to be able to pay for the ring and wedding unless parents offer to contribute to the wedding but that is all they should have to contribute to should they offer. They don't need to pay for your ring they don't need to pay for your rent or insurance etc and until you can do these things IMHO I don't believe you are ready to get married

BlueBoxBride

Wasn't Patsy Cline married at 14? My co-worker was showing me pictures from his niece's prom and they all looked like little girls playing dress up! 

jeanacorina

Future Baby Daddy is a joke. It came about another time someone used "future husband" to describe their boyfriend.

FI and I have been together 6 years, and just got engaged last summer. I understand the whole "we're SO beyond boyfriend/girlfriend" feeling but I reserve the right to chuckle at "FH." That would be a fiance.

Edit: did I miss something with the Patsy Cline thing?

BlueBoxBride

Ah, cool. Got it... 

You'll have to excuse me... I'm a newbie to the Knot boards. Knowing that my "fellow" purchased my ring and it's currently out for sizing, I figured I would get a head start and begin gathering ideas for the actual event planning. We were actually both hoping to have had everything already official... we even planned a romantic getaway for next weekend, which was intended to kind of "celebrate" our decision and spend some quality time together before some crazy madness begins: him studying for the Bar, entering his LLM program, potentially moving (as of this month, we have renewed our lease for month to month in preparation for the move), family functions, etc. But since my ring size is too small and the style is a three stone (which extends past my finger), Tiff's had to send my ring to NY and it will need to have an entirely new setting recast so the side stones aren't all jacked up My boss's boss had her ring sized in less than a week. My "fellow" sent it in 4/14 and they said it may not be ready until 06/04... 

I'm glad you understand all of the face-palming that comes with being a straight domestic partner for several years. Just this week, I had my neighbor's very well intending traditional- Indian mother knock on our door to borrow something. Then she mentioned that she talked to my "husband" and straight up asked if I worked or if my "husband" took care of me. I told her that I worked, but didn't feel the need to correct her and if she can sleep well at night thinking I'm already Mrs. then more power to her... 

jeanacorina

LOL, I like "fellow," that's cute!

There is a lady I volunteer with who always calls FI my husband. She has since before we were engaged. I mean, we have a joint bank account, we live together, we have two wonderful cats, and he's very supportive of my education and volunteering. He's even on the board of directors as my co-chair for fundraising.

So, I can see why she might assume we're married. I guess. I even talk about the wedding plans now and then... but still she calls him my husband. I think it's a little funny, but whatever. lol

oceana919

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4af86b33-7016-4056-8a17-e905d798df17Post:4ed21095-3ab5-4dba-acaa-865cf53ac2a2">Re: I think it's coming soon.....</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay, I have to ask.  Does anyone else think it is weird that her bf and his parents "decided that taking [her] engagement ring shopping was a good idea?"
Posted by **Mutley**[/QUOTE]

::raises hand::

**Mutley**

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_think-its-coming-soon?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4af86b33-7016-4056-8a17-e905d798df17Post:918dc04e-7f25-45f0-a53b-5fa134b2cfbe">Re: I think it's coming soon.....</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't necessarily see anything wrong with OP's FH having his parents help him pick out/ pay for an engagement ring, if it is considered a gift. I know a lot of people that were gifted fabulous family rings. 
Posted by BlueBoxBride[/QUOTE]

It is the way the OP worded it that evokes the creep factor. 

A family heirloom is in no way the same as deciding with your parents to take your girlfriend shoping.

dwest2201

Personally I think it is odd that his parents went along, but if it was just for advice then whatever floats your/his boat I suppose.

Onto the matter of them or others parents paying for the ring.  I seriously would decline a proposal if I knew that his parents had helped or paid for the ring.  I would want the ring that HE gave me to be a symbol of HIS love and devotion and HIS want to marry me.  I would expect something within HIS budget (and if he was a student or unemployed I would no want or expect a ring from him).  That being said I can understand a upgrade later if you/he want/feel necessary.  I would rather keep a small ring and use the money for a vacation or something though.   I truly believe that if you are in love that a ring is just a piece of metal.  I could care less about a ring at all.  I would marry my BF without one completely.  Again, whatever floats your boat.

paintgirl

Yep, I think it's strange that the parents went along. Have we determined how old she is? That seems like a younger person thing. My bf has seen my parents once. I've seen his parents maybe 3 times. We don't live near either and won't likely be close to them. I can't imagine them going along to buy a ring.

Further, I agree with Dwest about who pays for the ring. I'm sure multiple carats from Tiffany's (excuse me - Tiff's) would be fabulous, but I would break bf's neck if he bought me a crazy ring like that. Especially if his parents had to help. Really? We could afford something like that on our own and I would STILL break his neck. And if his parents chipped in... We're adults. I think we pay our own way - especially for something that is a luxury, not a need.

jenna.linder

Completely agree about not wanting a ring courtesy of my BF/FI's parents.  And, paintgirl, thanks for pointing out "tiffs."  Gag reflex.