Not Engaged Yet

Excited/nervous, trying not to over overreact.

So my bf and I were sitting together watching tv at his house and talking about when we were going to exchange our Christmas presents with each other.  I said to him you already gave me my present silly, you can have yours early too if you want or wait to Christmas eve or Christmas day that is fine too. 

See we decided to only get each other one small thing this year because I'm back in school and money is tight and he is getting ready to go back to school as well and needs to save.  He says well I actually do have another gift for you and I said but we said only one thing remember!  He said well I already had it before we decided that, you can have it now if you want.  I said well your present is at my house we should exchange them together silly.  Then he says its just a little something... small round and shiny... you sure you don't want it?  I was thinking umm what else is small and round and shiny, think, think.  I couldn't think of anything other than the obvious thing that would come into any girls mind when her and her bf have been talking A LOT about the future lately.  I responded I think we should exchange together babe but we can do it early if you want to just let me know.

So my question is does it seem like that is what it is or am I letting wishful thinking get in the way of rational thinking?  If it is do you think that me not saying yes give it to me now would have upset him... he seemed fine really but we were just watching tv and then went to bed.  I can't stop thinking about it now... we discussed exchanging gifts again and decided to do it on Christmas eve when we have some alone time together before we go to our family parties that evening. 


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Re: Excited/nervous, trying not to over overreact.

  • edited December 2011
    I think you're over-thinking it honestly.  *IF* it is a ring, he probably intended to propose on Christmas Eve during the alone time before you went and saw your families anyway, so don't worry about it.

    Most importantly though, don't get your hopes up that it *is* a ring.  Whatever he gives you, be happy that the man you love gave you a gift, and react accordingly.  Don't let any expectations you want to have potentially ruin your Christmas if they aren't fulfilled.

    That being said, 'tis the season, so good luck!  :-)
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  • edited December 2011
    Well, I don't know what it is, but enjoy the anticipation! Wink
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  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had a BF tell me that once, it was a CD.
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  • pinkpinotpinkpinot member
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    edited December 2011
    Last year at Christmas I was not engaged and FI kept hinting about my gift & how he couldn't wait to give it to me and it would "seal the deal on our future" 

    WELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I of course thought he was going to propose and guess what I got?  Skiis! Hahaha that sealed the deal on our future as skiers (his favorite winter activity, I'm still learning). 

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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the responses ladies. 

    I'm not really expecting a ring at all... even though we have talked a lot about the future lately I don't think that he is in a position to purchase a ring right now with his house and saving to go to the fire academy in Spring.  I was caught off guard by what he said and was trying to think of what else it could be but didn't come up with anything... probably mainly because I don't really wear jewelry so when I think of jewelry at all that is about the only thing that comes to mind.  Of course I will be happy with anything that he got for me because it is the thought that counts and him giving me anything regardless of value is his way of showing that he loves me.

    Oh well, whatever it is time will tell... I'm just excited that he is going to be off on Christmas eve and we get to spend the day together (he was originally supposed to work but took the day off since I am off).  For now I have lots of last minute wrapping and baking to get done so I don't have much time to over think it anyways! 
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  • KappaKKappaK member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Last Christmas my FI said, "my gift is relatively hard and relatively soft"  It was also in a little box.  I immediately though it was an engagement ring.  It turned out to be diamond earrings.  I was a bit disappointed even though I had mentioned I wanted new earrings since I had lost one of mine.  A week later on New Year's Eve thoug, he proposed. 
  • desertsundesertsun member
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    edited December 2011
    Personally, I think teasing someone like that is just not cool. I would kick my FI's asss if he did that to me. But I realize other people are different. So, I'd advise you to keep your expectations low. Don't get overexcited expecting a ring or a proposal. You don't want to be let down. (Which may be why I don't like hints/teasing/fake proposals -- I  think it sucks to be disappointed).

    Like Acro said, just be happy the man you love got you a present.

    I say this all the time on this board, but it always bears repeating:

    Your proposal only happens once. When it's over, it's over, and you never get to feel that anticipation or excitement again. SAVOR IT while it lasts! Enjoy being in love and being excited about your future! Don't let the future become your focus to the extent where you aren't living and enjoying the moment.
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  • edited December 2011
    Well, the present that he gave me was not a ring, it was a great gift basket fll of goodies... haha, not small or round at all!  We had a couple of great days celebrating the holidays and running around to see all of our loved ones together though... Christmas was great and our time together was awesome!
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  • edited December 2011
    desertsun-I just want to say thank you for your response.  I am waiting on a ring, of course, but we have been looking for a house for the last year and with every unusual reason we do not get it, I become more obsessed with getting out of this rental.  I agree with you.  I am missing out on being happy with my incredible BF and I know I am stressing him out as well.  I guess I needed to see what your post read and now listen to it.  You just get tired of hearing "if it wasn't meant to be....." but what you wrote was much better. Thank you.
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