Not Engaged Yet

Weird co-worker....

Please don't quote, I should DD this later.

For anyone that did not catch my vent post earlier this week, I am a sales assistant at a technology resale company. Basically I assist the outside sales reps in their quoting and ordering. I love the sales rep that I assist now (let's call him M), so that is hunky-dory, until recently.

They hired a new outside sales rep for our office, and I am supposed to be the one to assist him while he is starting out. The VP told M and I that I only have to help him when he is out of the office, and when he is in-office he should be doing it himself so that he can learn the processes.

This new guy  - we'll call him J - is odd, just off the bat. He has a old-school military crew cut and likes to wax eloquent on the origin of the phrase "God bless you", and interrogate people about pierogies. Also, he evidently already hates the VP, for no apparent reason. He has flipped him off behind his back and said things to M like, "He won't f*cking like me but he will f*cking respect me!" All of this about his BRAND NEW boss - if you hate the man that much already, why in God's name did you accept his job offer??

So J gets wind that I will be assisting him, and he has been up my ass ever since. He keeps asking me to go to lunch with him (we don't really do that here, everyone does their own thing for lunch for the most part so it was odd in this atmosphere), and when he FINALLY accepted no for an answer after the fifth time I told him I was all set (over three days of him asking me), he asked me if I like wine, and told me he will bring in a case of homemade wine for me. Today I get in, and he said, "I have a present for you! Have you ever heard of pepper jelly? I make this myself - if you would be so kind as to return the bottle when you're done, I can make you more!"

Not to mention that when he asked M to help him with something this morning because I wasn't there yet, M said, "Sure, and I can show you how to do it too." J told M that he had no f*cking intention of ever f*cking learning our system. M asked how he intended to get things done - J said he planned to build a relationship with me and have me do it all for him.

Everyone in the office thinks it is hilarious, and I definitely see the humor, but none of them are getting random presents from a man who is, in EVERY sense of the word, a stranger!! I don't get the sense that he is hitting on me at all, but he is certainly trying to butter me up to be his b*tch. And I'm sorry dude, but I cannot be bought.

 I just told M that I am ready for Twilight Zone week to end, because this gets more bizarre every day. Am I off base for thinking this is all weird?

Re: Weird co-worker....

  • peekaboo2011peekaboo2011 Washington, DC member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You should let him take you out to lunch and then tell him that you appreciate things, but you'd appreciate him even more if he would stop trying to buy you.  And then walk out. :)
    I french with my man
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  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I LOLed several times during that story.  This guy actually sounds a lot like somebody I used to work with.  Is his name John, by any chance?  And did he recently relocate from TX?
  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    His name IS John! I have no idea where he relocated from, because I have been doing my damnedest to keep my distance and know as little as possible about him. I'll have to find out. Did your John have a last name starting with D?
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-co-worker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:4ea45d23-b41a-4061-b9c0-698159b47fd0Post:58415717-55ef-45c6-88fc-f9b14d91c78f">Re: Weird co-worker....</a>:
    [QUOTE]His name IS John! I have no idea where he relocated from, because I have been doing my damnedest to keep my distance and know as little as possible about him. I'll have to find out. <strong>Did your John have a last name starting with D?</strong>
    Posted by csousa1[/QUOTE]

    No.  :(  That would have been hilarious if it were the same person, though.
  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone, I will definitely be taking Liv and Peek's suggestions to set him straight. I'm just not sure when exactly that will be. M is planning to talk to the VP and tell him what J said about not planning to learn the system at all, and not even mention me yet. After that happens, I will decide what to do. Thanks for the help!
  • becunning2becunning2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I actually would NOT go out with him. Under any circumstances. Even to set him straight. Do you really want to be alone with this guy?!
  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-co-worker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4ea45d23-b41a-4061-b9c0-698159b47fd0Post:50f467fc-53e3-4b79-8b61-ca9448879dad">Re: Weird co-worker....</a>:
    [QUOTE]I actually would NOT go out with him. Under any circumstances. Even to set him straight. Do you really want to be alone with this guy?!
    Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

    Oh God no, that definitely will not be part of it. He makes my skin crawl just when he talks to me, and forget about the times when he comes into my cubicle. I would never be alone with him. I just meant that I like the idea of telling him I can't be bought and no thanks.
  • ravenrayravenray member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would tell him to stop buying me gifts and if he doesn't, get the boss involved!
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • becunning2becunning2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Whew, good. I would tell him explictly and cooly that any coversations you have need to be 100% related to the job and that you want no gifts from him. 

    I just worry because this could go badly--and you don't want to encourage him in any way. 

    Also, for your safety, record that you had this conversation with him, how he reacted, and the dates and times that it occurred. 

    Then, whenever he tries to cross the boundary you set, reiterate your rules and remind him that he crossed the line. Then record that instance (what he did, what you said, dates, time). If he keeps making you feel uncomfortable, take the record to your supervisor. You already feel uncomfortable and icky whenever he's around. 

    Protect yourself NOW so that you have something handy if you need it in the future.

    Either that, or tell me where you work so I can show up with a baseball bat!  (I go mother grizzly when protecting people...)
  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    This guy sounds just lovely.  I would hate to work with someone like that.

    I was really hoping as I was reading through this thread that it would be the same guy that Elle knew.
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  • csousa1csousa1 member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_weird-co-worker?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:4ea45d23-b41a-4061-b9c0-698159b47fd0Post:397d1bc6-4c96-4c53-a18d-3cdc5b25784c">Re: Weird co-worker....</a>:
    [QUOTE]Whew, good. I would tell him explictly and cooly that any coversations you have need to be 100% related to the job and that you want no gifts from him.  I just worry because this could go badly--and you don't want to encourage him in any way.  Also, for your safety, record that you had this conversation with him, how he reacted, and the dates and times that it occurred.  Then, whenever he tries to cross the boundary you set, reiterate your rules and remind him that he crossed the line. Then record that instance (what he did, what you said, dates, time). If he keeps making you feel uncomfortable, take the record to your supervisor. You already feel uncomfortable and icky whenever he's around.  Protect yourself NOW so that you have something handy if you need it in the future. <strong>Either that, or tell me where you work so I can show up with a baseball bat!  (I go mother grizzly when protecting people...)
    </strong>Posted by becunning2[/QUOTE]

    I LOVE this.

    Yes, I will take all of that advice. You are absolutely right, everything needs to be documented. That is something my mom always tells me as well. Thankfully M is completely behind me on all of this and willing to go to bat for me on anything. Thanks cunning!!
  • becunning2becunning2 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    De nada! :) 

    (Or should I saw, RAWR!?)
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