Engagement Ring financing

SamanthaJean528

I am trying to get some insight to my situation here. My BF (soon to be FI) recently ordered my engagement ring (a lab-created ruby ring that I chose) and I paid for half of it. Not sure why I offered to help pay for the ring but he didn't really object to me doing so.

For some reason I felt like I should help pay since I am the one that gets to wear it, and it seems kind of old fashioned for the guy to have to shell out all this money. (not that I am dissing on anyone else's choice to do that!!)

What are your guys' thoughts on this? Any other ladies in here do that, or hear of someone doing that?

I don't regret it, but I have had mixed reactions from friends and family. I don't want people to think my future husband is a cheapo or something, we are just both really practical people. So I've stopped telling people the story. I guess it's not really anyone else's business anyway.

I am just curious to everyone's thoughts and opinions

Thanks!!

catemeg

I personally wouldn't tell anyone anything about the cost of the ring or who paid what.  It's just not important, and as you said, it's not anyone's business.

Personally, I have also offered to pay for part of the ring.  He's rejected it, but the offer stands.  For us, we already budget together and are on each other's accounts, so it's really all mutual money at this point.  I don't see the point in him having to pay for all of it.  If he wants to, great, but I don't think it is any less special if he doesn't pay for it himself.  It's a decision we're making together, so I think it's fine that it be a joint purchase.

KatyRoseM

I don't think its cheep to help pay, but its a gift so I didn't pay for it.  When I get Fi things I don't have him pay for it. 

misskrysbaby

I'm with Cate. It's nobody's business really. And since my FI and I got engaged, nobody has really cared who bought the ring.

I offered to pay for part of mine too but my FI refused.

deburnin

I guess I don't understand why you were telling people in the first place? *shrug* 

I offered to help BF, but he said no. I think I already turned his world upside down enough by actually going ring shopping with him so I won't push. lol I do, however, want to buy him some Cutco knives (which he is obsessed with) as an engagement gift so I'm not the only one getting something.

catemeg

deburnin, I also plan on having an engagement gift for my guy!  But for us, we want him to have an heirloom piece to pass on to future generations, just like we hope my ring will someday be worn by a granddaughter or such.  I'm going to buy him a really nice watch!

breezerb

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_engagement-ring-financing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:50cf7be9-4d67-4367-8941-6775d11b60dfPost:dc070667-bb0e-4c55-ae7e-fb74006017db">Re: Engagement Ring financing</a>:
[QUOTE]deburnin, I also plan on having an engagement gift for my guy!  But for us, we want him to have an heirloom piece to pass on to future generations, just like we hope my ring will someday be worn by a granddaughter or such.  I'm going to buy him a really nice watch!
Posted by catemeg[/QUOTE]

Cate - this is a really nice idea!

jeanacorina

We had a joint bank account for years before DH bought my engagement ring. So, technically "we" paid for it together. But I don't generally tell people much about our finances.

I mean, as far as I'm concerned, marriage means sharing everything. So, even if we didn't have a joint account then, we soon would. And if his money is going to be supporting us as a couple, then the money he spent on an engagement ring is money WE spent.

Wait. I don't know if that made sense.

It's like, if your fiance buys himself a sports car. Regardless of whether that car will be his or yours or shared, you will BOTH be responsible for and feel the effects of the purchase once you're married. Assuming your engagement is less than 4 years, that car isn't going to be paid off by the time you're sharing finances. So isn't it really a joint purchase anyway?

Of course, that's even more true if you live together before marriage.

In my opinion, anyway.

GreenPepperBurger

It's no one's business who pays for what, but I admit I'd be a little skeptical if a girl told me she helped pay for her engagement ring. It's the traditionalist in me, I guess.

I have said that if I ever hit the lottery that I'd buy my e-ring, but my BF looked at me funny and said no. But I do want to get him an engagement gift too! Most likely a guitar.

brilibby4

I offered to help my fiance pay for my ring but he wouldn't let me.  That being said, we live together and share finances/bank accounts so technically all money is "our money" now.  I see no problem with you helping him pay for it but I wouldn't share that fact with anyone anymore than I would share the cost of my ring with anyone.  It should be between you and fi. 

jemmini6

I didn't offer to help buy mine because I know he'd say no anyways.  Plus...he makes about 4 times as much as I do, so it's not like I could really help all that much.  I am planning to buy him something as an engagement gift though...I keep joking and tell him I'm going to buy him and engagement ring too, but there's no way in hell he'd ever wear one.

Elle1036

Like several other people have said, I really think of it as our money, now, not his or mine.  Even more so since he's gone back to school and I'm the sole breadwinner.

That said, I pretty much insisted on paying for part of my ring.  For one thing, I think of the ring as something for us, not just for me.  For another, I'm the more liberal one in the relationship, and I didn't really want to wear a ring in the first place.  I've always thought of it as something similar to marking territory.  But it was really important to BF that I have one, so helping to pay for it was my way of reconciling my dislike of the tradition with his like of it.  Sure, not many other people will know, as I'm sure they'll just assume he bought it, but that's not really the point.

I think it's awesome that you helped pay for it, but I don't think it's anyone else's business.  You can always just say that you picked it out together and nobody will think anything of it.