No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not?

MSFRN

My boyfriend and I picked out my ring and he went to put money down on it and secured the ring.We also decided pn and set a date. Should I still consider myself just a girlfriend or can I say I am his fiance even though technically I am not wearing a ring as of yet??

tuarceatha

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_no-ring-yet-am-i-engaged-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:53ca0698-ad31-45a6-87be-ad3ac9a7b25aPost:a3643bcd-7cc3-4c75-9a5a-c6168eecf8d8">No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]My boyfriend and I picked out my ring and he went to put money down on it and secured the ring.We also decided pn and set a date. Should I still consider myself just a girlfriend or can I say I am his fiance even though technically I am not wearing a ring as of yet??
Posted by MSFRN[/QUOTE]

You should ask your partner what your status is. My guess is that you are not engaged yet.

loves2shop4shoes

You two need to decide TOGETHER what your relationship status is.  We can't tell you.

MSFRN

I was only seeking opinions there is no need to be harsh or nasty about it. We have discussed it but I thought I would ask other Knotties their opinion to get feedback. I was not asking you to solidify or validate my relationship because I don't need you to. Just wanted to talk to other women about it and see what they thought.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_no-ring-yet-am-i-engaged-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:53ca0698-ad31-45a6-87be-ad3ac9a7b25aPost:59f0c80d-15bb-408b-ae71-5f24ac13f8af">Re: No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>I was only seeking opinions there is no need to be harsh or nasty about it.</strong> We have discussed it but I thought I would ask other Knotties their opinion to get feedback. I was not asking you to solidify or validate my relationship because I don't need you to. Just wanted to talk to other women about it and see what they thought.
Posted by MSFRN[/QUOTE]


Was somebody harsh or nasty?  I've got to learn to read more carefully.

tuarceatha

I'm sorry if I seemed harsh. I just thought it was an odd question to ask a room full of strangers, when clearly you are conversing with him about getting married. Do you consider yourself engaged?

audrewuh

Shopping list: thicker skin. No one was rude or catty. You asked a question only you and your SO could answer. Not a room full of people who don't know you or your SO. Guess who can answer that question? You and your SO.

suzie211

Ring or no ring does not make an engagement alone.  Many people consider themselves engaged without a ring, but like the PP's have stated that is due to conversations they have had with their SO.

FWIW, my parents became engaged without a ring.  On a whim in college my dad proposed to my mom while their friends had stepped out to pick up a pizza. Their friends were gone for only a few minutes and my dad hadn't planned it, but decided in that moment he wanted to marry my mom and asked.  She accepted with no ring in sight.   They celebrated with pizza and beer, and went ring shopping months later.  But the point is they had clearly determined they were engaged. 

Good luck to you and your SO on the next step in your relationship.

Stina51286

I am confused, I didn't read anyone's posts as harsh or nasty.

Since you posted, have you talked to SO and decided on your status?

If you are still gf/bf be prepared to wait a while to get that ring. One of the girls on here has waited a very long time with her BF having the ring in house.

peekaboo2011

That escalated quickly.  OP - take a chill pill.

thejucheidea

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_no-ring-yet-am-i-engaged-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:53ca0698-ad31-45a6-87be-ad3ac9a7b25aPost:b209e4a1-5a21-42a9-8045-d251414802f8">Re: No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not?</a>:
[QUOTE] One of the girls on here has waited a very long time with her BF having the ring in house.
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

We're almost to a year and a half, sigh.

tiffanywarddoiron

I would say your engaged if you both decided the wedding date together.

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_no-ring-yet-am-i-engaged-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:53ca0698-ad31-45a6-87be-ad3ac9a7b25aPost:118ed6d2-764e-4d60-9942-44a70366c2ac">Re: No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not? : We're almost to a year and a half, sigh.
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

I knew it was around the year + mark, but just wasn't sure exactly.

loves2shop4shoes

Hahahahahahha...

You think that was ME being mean or catty?

HA!

Obviously you have not been around here that long.

Giggles...

deucedst96

Hello MSFRN - I am in a similar situation. I consider myself engaged. We have set the date, picked out our rings, booked honeymoom, told parents, having marital counseling, etc... just doing everything! The only reason I don't have my ring is my FI is bent on surprising me with the proposal. I'm like, "It's not necessary, since we've started everything"! LOL. It's cute though, I bet him that he couldn't surprise me and I would see it coming, so that's what he's waiting for... We are crazy! ...I Love Him!

Seriously, it's up to you how you and FI feel. A ring doesn't make you engaged, in my opinion.

Good Luck and Congratulations!!!

GoldenPenguin

Haven't had to use this in a while.

PrincessJas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_no-ring-yet-am-i-engaged-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:53ca0698-ad31-45a6-87be-ad3ac9a7b25aPost:a3643bcd-7cc3-4c75-9a5a-c6168eecf8d8">No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]My boyfriend and I picked out my ring and he went to put money down on it and secured the ring.We also decided pn and set a date. Should I still consider myself just a girlfriend or can I say I am his fiance even though technically I am not wearing a ring as of yet??
Posted by MSFRN[/QUOTE]

<div>My fiance and I did the same thing - picked the ring together, he purchased it (I had a very good idea of when), and we had talked about the date.  But we weren't engaged until he asked.  We then went through a rather horrifying experience with part of my family due to the engagement, and the wedding date has been pushed back by a year as a result (that, and the reality of the expense behind a wedding big enough to accomodate our two families).  The date isn't set in stone until you've booked the venue, and you have no idea when the ring is coming, so enjoy being his girlfriend for now.</div>

deburnin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_no-ring-yet-am-i-engaged-or-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:53ca0698-ad31-45a6-87be-ad3ac9a7b25aPost:118ed6d2-764e-4d60-9942-44a70366c2ac">Re: No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No Ring Yet.. Am I engaged or not? : We're almost to a year and a half, sigh.
Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

<div>And I thought my just over a year was bad. Eek!</div><div>
</div><div>I'm impressed with you ladies. Scaring people off with nice answers now? That's new. :P</div>

lennonkdc

1) You do not need a ring to become engaged/get proposed to. FI asked w/o a ring, then I had to wait 2 months before I had it. But we considered ourselves engaged from the time he asked.

2) I think the whole 'are we/ aren't we' engaged thing depends on what would happen if the date you have set gets closer and you still don't have your e-ring. Anything can happen (emergency car repairs, medical bills, etc) and your BF's payments could be delayed. If the date is approaching and he still hasn't "proposed" will you still go through with the wedding?

3) True story- there was once and newbie here who was upset b/c, despite being married for almost a year her H had never "officially" proposed. They set a date and went through with  the wedding, but she was upset b/c she didn't get a big proposal with a ring. If the whole big 'propasal' thing is something that you'll be pissed to have missed, then forget about the ring, the date and the planning until you're BF gets the ring and 'asks'.

bluemichiru

I'm in the same boat as you. I think it comes down to personal belief. Like some other PP have mentioned, you should discuss it with your boyfriend. If you want the status of engaged without the ring and he's ok with that, then go ahead. If you're looking for 'proper ettiquette' on this situation, I don't believe there are any set-in-stone rules. I'm holding off on the engaged status until I have a ring though because we've already started planning our DW and it's a bit upsetting when you notice people look at your hand for a ring and there is none. Best of luck with your decision!

buddysmom80

emelou2349 said:

Count me in that boat!  My boss actually went out of the way to tell me HIS OPINION (NOT ASKED FOR!!!) of our status when I said I needed to take a day off to go look at a venue (in another city).  We decided we're getting married, he bought the ring (I picked it out in July!), it's being made (tacori) & sent over, but I've decided not to use the fiance term to other people (& fb too once he says it, then I prob will, but it doesn't matter to me since planning is just starting).  If they have an opinion or a problem with it I'm just giving it straight to them:  it's none of their business what I do in my personal life if they are not one of my friends.

DAMN ZOMBIE THREAD!

Swazzle

@emelou2349 - This thread is from a year ago. I really hope OP has figured out by now if she is or is not engaged. 

GoldenPenguin

I was so fucking confused. I was like "oh, look at Macy popping up in here all nonchalantly."

tuarceatha

BriSox81 said:

I was so fucking confused. I was like "oh, look at Macy popping up in here all nonchalantly."

Me too! I was like "Whaaa? When did I say that...?"

GoldenPenguin

How the hell did you even find a random post from a year ago?

tuarceatha

ou ou! She may have been just searching the internets for this type of topic? That was my guess after thinking about how she found this for far too long, I'm sure.

audrewuh

I was wondering how I ended up in this conversation!

@emelou2349 I'm sorry your boss stuck his nose into places it doesn't belong. I'm curious why, if you and your SO consider yourself engaged that you're not telling anyone you're engaged and planning a wedding anyways. It just strikes me as odd.

buddysmom80

it showed up & yes i was looking to vent from people that could understand!  they always ask "when will he propose?"  the people i work with are VERY nosey.  so they know we're planning, bc when they asked why i needed off so suddenly, i volunteered the reason, rather than saying "its personal".  i know, my fault.  doesn't mean that's inviting him to give his opinion!  

----------------------------------------------------

So you're waiting for a ring to be shipped, and you're planning and asking time off from work?

I'm on the same boat as you and I would never do that. I'm enjoying my time with my BF and not worrying about booking a venue.