we have 40 days left to the wedding. I am seriously stressing and need to be talked down a little bit.
FI's family was supposed to take care of the RD. they're going to make some food (posole, tamales, rice, beans, drinks, dessert). this is why I'm stressing about the RD:
1. they contacted FI this weekend and said they want me to write up the invites and get the guest list and addresses together. no big deal, but those babies need to be mailed pretty quick. I'm just hoping they get them out in the mail in 3 weeks or less. minor stress there, but TBH they really just aren't dependable so they may not get mailed out until July. the wedding is July 16th. eep!
2. the guest list for the RD alone has grown to 104. on a side note, his relatives are RSVPing for more than what they should... example: a family of 5 RSVP'ed for 9. our caterer is expecting 275, but it looks like it's going to be well over 300 because they just keep inviting random people they know. it's a circus.
3. his family is cheap. really cheap. so they're complaining about the expense for the RD being so high... it's that high because they want to invite every freaking person they're related to! also, they wouldn't pay for a room for the RD so I had to rent a room large enough for a group of 100+ people. FI reimbursed me for it, but they wouldn't pay for anything. either it was free or... I don't know. I guess they weren't going to do it. I finally got fed up enough and rented a room.
4. his family is LATE. really, really, REALLY late to everything. like, an hour late to his college graduation. they got lcoked out and I had to come escort them in because security wouldn't let them in. we have a building that I rented (FI reimbursed me however) for the dinner. we have it from 7:00 to 10:00. these people party until 2 or 3 AM. if we aren't out of that building AND have it cleaned up by 10:00 PM, they are going to charge my card another $150.
5. his family is full of DRAMA. if every single relative doesn't get an invite, there will be a major falling out. I'm worried that I'll miss someone and there will be a huge dramatic falling out. one of his cousins didn't get her own invite to his graduation (she was included in her family's invite), and she made a big scene about it and swore up and down that she wasn't coming to the wedding because she wasn't invited to the graduation. stuff like that. another one of his cousins (GM) told us a couple weeks ago that he wasn't going to be a GM because he didn't want to walk with a girl he didn't know. we had to buy the outfits for the ring bearer, flower girl, and another GM because that family said they didn't want to do it. we had to special order suits for his GM because they waited until they were discontinued and no longer available (including his brothers).
I love FI, but I'm starting to feel a lot of pressure. we're DIY-ing most of the wedding (decor, some food, programs, etc.) and we're starting to overspend because his family is flaking out on what they "wanted" to contribute (financially and in other ways) at the beginning of the planning... my parents have paid for a lot of the wedding along with FI and I and I'm starting to get a little angry inside at his family's antics. and it shouldn't be that way. I want this to be a happy time. I know what will be, will be. but I'm feeling so anxious about all of it. I'm already dealing with my family and some craziness there and everything put together along with the wedding coming up so soon, it's just starting to freak me out a little. I know my parents will help us with anything that comes up, but I don't want to do that to them when they've helped us so much already.
any bits of advice or encouragement to help me calm down a little bit? please?