Not Engaged Yet

Six Days! *bridezilla rant*

Edit: Holy Long-Post Batman!  Geez!

Six days until the wedding,  FI's family gets in on Thursday, I have a calc exam Friday morning and two big papers due that afternoon.  I can't wait to get married, but this week sucks!  Any tips from you wedding folks for surviving the last week?

This morning I woke up, was sick, fell back into bed and slept through my first class.  I woke up and found that the cat had pooped on the floor and their was blood in his urine.  He had also spilled his water sometime during the night.  I didn't want to leave until he had peed in case he had stones again and of course having not had a drink all morning he didn't go until 12:15.  My class is at 12:45 and I live 30 minutes away.  Naturally I got stuck behind a civic with New Jersey plates going 20 under the speed limit- yes, it's beautiful and yes that is a deer over there, but pull the f^ck over to take pictures, some of us actually do live and work along this road!

So I run into class 10 minutes late for our two hours of peer editing.  This is a class on rhetoric that I have taken at both my previous universities, but my current one makes everyone take their version of it.  The kid editing my paper comes up to me after half an hour and says, "Well I didn't have anything to say about yours cuz like it seems good and I really don't know very much about writing."  Cheers, skater dude, and thank you university for making me pay you $1000 to waste 40+ hours of my life retaking this godd@mn class!

Then I go over to my mom's house to finish programs.  I walk in and decide to take a peek at the seating list... to find that she used a really, really old guest list and seated nearly everyone at table 6.  How she and my sister both failed to notice this is beyond me, I mean, FI and most of his family aren't on the chart and my bridesmaid's name is spelled horribly wrong!  I didn't think we needed this chart in the first place, and it nearly gave me a panic attack to see it butchered like that!  I feel like I can't trust them to re-do, I mean it's not like they overlooked one odd misspelling here and I know they spent at least two hours arranging everything yesterday, it really just sucks for all three of us.

Finally, my mom tells me that she told my sister and my bms that they could host the bachlorette party in our hotel room.  As stated previously a bajillion times I have PTSD and I need to have somewhere to retreat to.  My mom, my sister, and my bms all know this and yet they refused to find somewhere else to host it when I told them it made me nervous to take away my only escape option.  Also, what is FI supposed to do?

At that point I kind of lost it... but I didn't yell at anyone, I didn't have a panic attack, and some nice calculus problems calmed me right down.  Hopefully I can keep all my bridezilla moments this controlled!

Re: Six Days! *bridezilla rant*

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Wow sounds like you are super busy. I don't really have any advice except to keep remembering that it will all be over soon and that will be a HUGE relief. The seating chart thing is really a bummer. I don't know how anyone could mess up that badly but I wouldn't worry about it too much it will all come together in the end.

    I don't have any advice other than that but I will send some good vibes your way *hugs*

  • MeShell1313MeShell1313 member
    edited December 2011
    Deep Breaths!!!

    Have a glass of wine or something....

    IDK.... It'll all be over soon. Best of luck! relax. enjoy what you can. And that which you can't: Let go and let God....
  • edited December 2011
    That's rough. Take a deep, cleansing breath and try to remember that you're doing something WONDERFUL - you're getting married! So something like programs will just seem trivial in the grand scheme of things (even though it's a big deal now). I applaud you for balancing a wedding and going to school. I could never.

    Also, I completely understand about the anxiety thing - I suffer from it as well, and I know how much it helps to have a concept of "safety" or "escape."

    There's not much I can do but try to talk to you and try to make you stay calm, but please feel free to PM me if you'd like.
  • edited December 2011
    Wow, a calc exam and two papers in one week would be enough to stress anyone out.  Add in a wedding, and you're Superwoman.  Hang in there, remember that it will all get done, and do your best to manage time.

    I admire you!  And look forward to hearing from you next week once it's all done and you're a Mrs.!!!!
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  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
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    edited December 2011
    *hug* Take the naked kitty, take a glass of wine, take your FI and retreat somewhere private.  Just take deep breaths and relax.  All these little things seem like a big deal now but in the grand scheme they won't be (well the seating chart does need to be fixed but that's okay! It will get done).  Just remember - in the end you're marrying the man of your dreams.  And you have an adorable naked kitty.

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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks everyone, sometimes it's just nice to hear that I'm not totally insane and it's okay to be stressed out right now! 
  • edited December 2011
    Yowser, just reading this stressed me out.  I'm sorry.  Just will be over soon.
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  • edited December 2011

    BREATHE!! Everything will work out. Try to just take one thing at a time and focus on that ONLY! It'll get done quicker and it's easier to do it that way than by looking at the big picture and stressing out.

    If that doesn't work, dress the naked kitty. Hope he's doing better today :)

  • bajedivabajediva member
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: Six Days! *bridezilla rant*</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yowser, just reading this stressed me out.
    Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]
    Ya, me too!!  Kudos to you for handling things with such grace so far. I too battle PTSD and anxiety, although its much better these days. Completely understand the need for that safety/escape. If there is no way they will change the location at this point, is it at all possible to have another 'safe place'? ....a BM who will give her room up if necesary, maybe?
  • edited December 2011
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I didn't have the exact same problems, but I felt completely overwhelmed, helpless, and stressed to the ends of the universe the week before my wedding. One thing helped keep things in perspective:

    You have your marriage license. You have an officiant. With or without a seating chart, bachelorette party, or anybody else in the whole freaking world, YOU WILL BE MARRIED TO THE MAN YOU LOVE.

    None of that other crap even matters. None of it. On your wedding day, you'll rush and rush and rush, and then you'll see your FI standing up there, and you'll suddenly feel really calm. Like, omg wtf is the big deal. We're getting married! Screw everybody else!

    I promise. You'll be fine.  *hugs* You're not crazy!
  • edited December 2011
    Aw, thanks!  Jeana- That's really good to know/hear, I'm super excited about the wedding itself and marrying the man I love, I don't know why anything else matters (but it must or else everyone would leave me alone and make their own decisions about ribbon colors)
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: Six Days! *bridezilla rant*</a>:
    [QUOTE] I don't know why anything else matters (but it must or else everyone would leave me alone and make their own decisions about ribbon colors)
    Posted by nefariousmango[/QUOTE]

    No, it does NOT matter. Ribbon colors might matter to your mom, or your sister, or some random person who secretly wants to be oh-so-important to your wedding planning process.... but it does NOT matter.

    Keep telling yourself that. You're days.... DAYS away. It doesn't matter. Maybe two months ago it did, but at this point, you need to cut back on the things that are stressing you and just try to skate through the next few days with your sanity intact.

    I let Josh CUT OFF THE RIBBONS on half my programs because every time I thought about tying more ribbons on programs to finish the job, I started feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I asked him to help me, and he asked "Is it really THAT important? Does it HAVE to be done?"

    I thought about it and said "No, it doesn't have to be done. It's not that important. The ribbons won't change the fact that we'll be married. BUT, I'd like them all to either have ribbons or not."

    So, he asked if he could just untie all of them, and no programs would have ribbons. I reluctantly agreed, and guess what! I felt SO much better.

    You're going to get married, come hell or high water. No, none of these details matter. Not six days before the wedding. Not to you. If they matter to someone else, then tell them THEY can handle the responsibility. You need a pedicure with a massaging chair, and THAT is important to you.
  • edited December 2011
    I remember that, with Josh cutting off the ribbons.  I think it's brilliant and at this point I'm adopting as my motto: If it all has to match, it can all be plain or someone else is welcome to make them on their own!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: Six Days! *bridezilla rant*</a>:
    [QUOTE]On your wedding day, you'll rush and rush and rush, and then you'll see your FI standing up there, and you'll suddenly feel really calm. Like, omg wtf is the big deal. We're getting married! Screw everybody else! I promise. You'll be fine.  *hugs* You're not crazy!
    Posted by jeanacorina[/QUOTE]

    She speaks the truth. 

    I've said it before.  Nothing else matters on that day.  NOTHING.  The sky could literally spit cats and dogs, and you will have this weirdo serene feeling.  When life is right and the stars have aligned for you to be marrying your guy, life is amazing and nothing can mess with that.

    And in those last days, it seems like everyone else cares about crap.  Where their urgency comes from?  I haven't a clue.  Do not answer the phone when people that stress you out call.  When someone starts to bring up crap you don't care about, bean dip. 

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