Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
Options

Ceremony solo sung by the bride???

Something tells me this would be a serious faux pas, but at the same time people do some crazy things nowadays, so.

Basically, I'm a singer/guitar player. My fiance loves this about me. He mentioned wanting music (i.e. a solo) at the wedding but as we are outdoor it would really kind of have to be acoustic...and none of our friends can both sing AND play guitar (or any other instrument, for that matter). Problem is...I'm self-taught and can really only play when I'm singing along.

So would it be totally against etiquette or whatever if I surprised him and sang a song for him at our ceremony?

Re: Ceremony solo sung by the bride???

  • Options
    Yeah~I'm also a professional singer.  And I have to tell you that the emotion of your wedding ceremony is so overwhelming that no matter how good you are, it's tough to pull off well. 

    And in a day that's already incredible AW-ish for the B&G (and that's just fine) it seems to me that singing during your own ceremony is just a tad too much.

    FWIW:  I sing at scores of weddings.  I didn't sing at my own,  I didn't sing at my son's.  I didn't sing at my DD's.  I would have been too emotional.  And to underscore the emotional aspect:  I DID sing at my mom's memorial service which was crushingly emotional.

    I'd have less issue with it at the reception, I think.  I'd have even less issue with it if you chose your first dance song, and sang to your new DH while the two of you were dancing.....or during another dance at the party.  Or at an afterparty.

    Good luck.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • Options
    I once went to a wedding where the bride sang.

    It was awkward.

    It's not rude, but it WAS strange.
  • Options
    I'm a singer as well.  I briefly thought about singing to my FI at our wedding, but decided against it for 3 reasons...

    1 - I thought it may be excessively cheesy

    2 - I thought I may be too focused on the performance and not be "in the moment" as much as I want to

    3 - I know I would be WAY emotional.  I have sung at many weddings, but thought about when I sang at my brother's wedding.  I was very emotional at his wedding and knew that if I felt that level of emotion at his, how would I be at my own?

    If you really want to sing to him, I would do it at the reception.
  • Options
    The only way for this not to be totally awkward for your guests would be to record it beforehand and play it at whatever point you want.  That way you can still sing to him, but the guests don't have to stop and watch, and you don't have the emotions of the day to deal with.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • Options
    i too wanted to sing at my wedding, but think i am going to sing and have it recorded and have it playing when the guests are milling about before the ceremony starts.  this way there is no added pressure on me at the wedding. 

    best of luck!
  • Options
    I've never heard of it being less than awkward for the guests.  Could you sing to him in private while you're taking pictures during cocktail hour?
  • Options
    I don't care how many people said that it's awkward, but I have been to several weddings where the Bride sang to the Groom, and usually it was surprise to the groom. 

    I did it myself, and I had so many people come up to me afterwards and tell me that that was their favorite part of the ceremony. Our pastor who had to pray right afterwards, said he actually started tearing up during the song and wasn't sure if he could pray.  I wasn't sure if I would be too emotional to do it, but I was on such a high all day, I was fine.

    I'm not sure how you would handle a guitar, but I say if you want to sing to your groom, then DO IT! You or your groom will never regret it.
  • Options
    Thank you, zachsgirl91809 for the advice - I too was thinking about playing on guitar and singing a song that I wrote for my fiance - with some of the lyrics in the chorus being "I will sing this song to you in my wedding dress" - so really, there's no other day for me to sing it to him. Glad to hear that people really liked that at your ceremony.

    Also, one of my friends sang the Our Father during her ceremony and it was BEAUTIFUL. She is a very, very emotional woman, but she didn't cry while she sang - it was amazing. She had actually asked her mom to sing it originally, but her mom was afraid of choking up and crying, so the bride decided to do it herself. Absolutely phenominal. Very memorable.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Options
    A cellist friend of mine performed at a wedding last weekend where the bride decided to sing.  She started crying in the middle and one of her bridesmaids finished singing it for her.  It was a little awkward.

    Years ago a friend of mind came up with a much better solution - she pre-recorded the song (because she *knew* she would start crying if she tried to do it live) and had it played during the ceremony as a surprise for her FI.  He was extremely touched. 

    Another alternative - sing at the reception when the mood is a little lighter and the pressure is less.
  • Options
    I had also thought of pre-recording it, but to me, pre recorded music at a wedding sounds cheesy.
  • Options
    What about at your reception, before your first dance?  Call your h2b well at the time it'll be your DH, to the dance floor - have the guitars going, and sing your favorite together song? 

    Isn't that a suprise in itself?

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
  • Options
    I think it sounds like a cute idea if you could handle it without crying or chocking up. Maybe don't put it into the program, if you're making one, then if at the last moment you feel too emotional, you can skip it. I think it would be super sweet to perform a song to your G.
  • Options
    Thanks everyone for the advice! Sorry I bailed on this for a couple days, things are a bit crazy 'round here.

    I know that I wouldn't want to do something pre-recorded...to me that sounds more cheesy than doing it myself haha. I think I'll just have to consider it before I make my final decision, but at the moment I'm leaning toward no. I'm not the most emotional person but I'm also not 100% sure I could make it all the way through a song (especially the one I want to sing) without choking up/crying. I guess we'll see, but thanks again for all the input! It helps to know that at worst, people may think it's a bit awkward or possibly a bit cheesy and not just ouright awful/rude :)
  • Options

    i know you don't like pre-recorded, but what about pre-recording it and having it be a surprise for him as your first dance song?

  • Options
    who cares if you choke up...if you do--thats not awkard..thats raw emotion..thats sweet...
  • Options
    edited June 2010
    I must agree with most of the others, that you probably shouldn't.  It's your wedding day & you'll be getting a ton of attention (even though that's not what you're after by singing at your own wedding).  If I were a guest & the bride (or groom) sang during the ceremony, I'd think it was a little too attention-seeking, just because most of your guests know if you have a special talent and have probably already heard you sing (or will at a later time, if they haven't before).  I think you should just relax & enjoy all your hard work paying off. 

    My long-time ago piano instructor (also the church organist) recorded music beforehand and then played it at all three of her children's weddings, so she could particapate in the ceremony.  I thought this itself was tacky.  I couldn't imagine the bride/groom actually performing at their own wedding.

    And, like mentioned before, emotions will be very overwhelming and you may be setting yourself up for failure.  A simple voice crack, the start of a tear, missing a chord change, a string not perfectly tuned, etc.... will ruin the moment and just add to the awkwardness for yourself, family & guests.

    (of course, I also found it horribly tacky when an old friend of mine, a music teacher, played her saxophone solo, at her middle school students' christmas concert.  So maybe I'm just weird about performances & people being AWish)

    ultimately, it is your & FI's choice, but I would just want to kick back relax & enjoy, not worry about getting everything perfect  :-)
    When we walk to the edge of all the light we have and take the step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things must happen: There will be something solid for us to stand on, or we will be taught to fly. -Patrick Overton
  • Options

     I have been to several weddings where the bride or groom sang to each other. It is only awkward, if they can't sing. As for all these people who say it should be private....well that is where the problem of invting 200 people you hardly know to please someone else comes in.
    If your guests are true friends and loved ones, then there is nothing awkward about it. They will enjoy the tender moment you share.

  • Options
    As a wedding guest, I would find the whole thing sweet, and if she choked up it would be just as sweet.  My fiance sings beautifully, and he is a very emotional person.  He plans to sing to me at our wedding and if the song he chooses has any meaning at all, chances are, no matter what he thinks he will do,  he won't make it through it without choking up, but I will find it just as beautiful. 
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards