Physical Affection Survey

kellyt89

I took a psychology survey a while ago about relationships and it turned out BF and I scored "higher than average" in terms of how much physical affection we want and give each other.

When BF and I are around each other we're very physically affectionate (G rated in public - holding hands, little pecks etc) and been it's one of the hardest things to do without during the LD part of our relationship (over in 2 DAYS!!! btw)

How important is physical affection (outside of sex) in your relationship?

Do one of you need more affection than the other or are you pretty evenly matched? Are you happy with how affectionate you are?

How has the level of physical affection in your relationship changed over time? Has it?

mookow86

Yay for your LDR almost being over!! I did that for several years and it is not fun in the least.

I'd say physical affection is very important in our relationship, and that we are pretty evenly matched in terms of the amount that we need and give. Although FI is a litte more hesitant to be affectionate when we're out in public or when we're with his family.

I don't think the level of physical affection has changed over our relationship, besides the obvious long distance period of our relationship.

doubleSS07

We are pretty affectionate in general which for me is sort of an odd thing because I am NOT affectionate really with anyone else.  In public we hold hands, peck, arms around each other type of stuff.  At home we are constantly touching each other even if it's just on the arm in passing and we are cuddlers when we sleep.  We haven't changed much at all in the 4 years we have been together which I sort of expected we would over time but it's been a nice surprise.

I have a friend though who is very unaffectionate with her hubby.  That's just their relationship I suppose.  It's odd to me though that they almost seem awkward in certain situationswith each other.  To each their own and it seems to work for them.

motoLyn

We really don't have much shame. Danish Man and I are affectionate in public and private.  We won't grope each other in public but I will pinch his butt and occasionally bite him in public.  We love to hug and kiss and hold hands.  We hold hands in the car doesn't matter who's driving or in the car with us we'll hold hands.  I've fallen asleep in the car holding his hand.  So I'm very glad to have met someone that is just as affectionate as me. 

kellyt89

I'm not a super affectionate person otherwise either, SS! But I've always been affectionate in romantic relationships.

When things started to go south with XBF the wanting to be physically affectionate thing was one of the first things to go - I didn't want to be touching *at all* when we slept.

Peaseblossom55

Yay LDR is almost over.

We are pretty affectionate in public, I enjoy that but I don't find it necessary or  anything.  I love when he randomly kisses me or holds my hnd when we are out.  The other night before sleeping we were snuggling in bed and spooning after about 15 minutes we were like ok, we need to sleeo and moved away from each other, we both have trouble with someone else touching us when we sleep.

I am so glad we both feel that way.

polkadot111

We are both pretty affectionate. I however HATE HATE HATE PDA. Holding hands, fine. But I even feel uncomfortable holding hands across the table if we go out to dinner together. I am not sure why. Just makes me really uncomfortable. 

[Deleted User]

How important is physical affection (outside of sex) in your relationship?
I think physical affection is very important in our relationship. We often hold hands in public, BF leads me into a room with his hand on the small of my back, we are not shy about giving little kisses in front of people or touching each other. I don't feel that people should be over the top in public, but too many people are overly concerned about PDA IMHO.

Do one of you need more affection than the other or are you pretty evenly matched? Are you happy with how affectionate you are?
I think we are pretty evenly matched. I am very happy that BF is so affectionate. He would probably say that he would like me to be a bit more physical throughout the day...but I keep telling him he doesn't give me the opportunity because he always gets there first!

How has the level of physical affection in your relationship changed over time? Has it?
I think we have become more comfortable over time and have fallen into habits. By "falling into habits" I don't mean that to sound boring...I think our touches and kisses have become more meaningful over the years.

desertsun

How important is physical affection (outside of sex) in your relationship?

Very important. Physical touch is definitely one of the primary love languages for both my H and me.
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/

Do one of you need more affection than the other or are you pretty evenly matched? Are you happy with how affectionate you are?

I think H probably needs a bit less than I do, but he never ever acts less than happy to give me hugs and cuddles. I'm happy with the amount of affection between us.

How has the level of physical affection in your relationship changed over time? Has it?

I was not big on PDA when we started dating, but it seemed like my H was initiating a lot of arm around me or hand holding type stuff, so I just went with it.

I know other people think it's lame, but we still always sit on the same side of the table when we go out to eat.

Little pecks, hands on the other person's knee, hand holding, arm around the other person...we still do all that at home just sitting on the couch AND in public.

We rarely pass by each other at home without stopping to give a hug or a kiss, and we say "I love you" a LOT. It's really important to me that we take the time to appreciate each other and our relationship, and to express that in words, actions, and through touch.

Peaseblossom55

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_physical-affection-survey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6185e681-671b-4d47-8f44-71c7c5e9306cPost:3af160f9-7b1d-4379-95da-26deacb4c0eb">Re: Physical Affection Survey</a>:
[QUOTE]How important is physical affection (outside of sex) in your relationship? Very important. Physical touch is definitely one of the primary love languages for both my H and me. <a href="http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/" rel="nofollow">http://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/</a> Do one of you need more affection than the other or are you pretty evenly matched? Are you happy with how affectionate you are? I think H probably needs a bit less than I do, but he never ever acts less than happy to give me hugs and cuddles. I'm happy with the amount of affection between us. How has the level of physical affection in your relationship changed over time? Has it? I was not big on PDA when we started dating, but it seemed like my H was initiating a lot of arm around me or hand holding type stuff, so I just went with it. I know other people think it's lame, but we still always sit on the same side of the table when we go out to eat. Little pecks, hands on the other person's knee, hand holding, arm around the other person...we still do all that at home just sitting on the couch AND in public. <strong>We rarely pass by each other at home without stopping to give a hug or a kiss, and we say "I love you" a LOT. It's really important to me that we take the time to appreciate each other and our relationship, and to express that in words, actions, and through touch.</strong>
Posted by desertsun[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>BF and I constantly say I love you on the weekend when we see each other we are very grateful, appreciative and say I love you constantly.  I agree I try to make him aware of how much I appreciate him and not just with words.</div><div>

</div>

elannis

How important is physical affection (outside of sex) in your relationship?
We're both very into physical affection. We always hold hands, we sit next to each other when we go out to eat, we touch each other when we pass by each other and we hug and kiss often. Physical touch is our top out of the 5 Love Languages too.

Do one of you need more affection than the other or are you pretty evenly matched? Are you happy with how affectionate you are?
I'd say we're pretty evenly matched. We both love to cuddle when we sleep too. I am very happy with how we've got it going so far, lol. I'm also one of those people that doesn't like people touching me, but FI is the exception.

How has the level of physical affection in your relationship changed over time? Has it?
I would say that it's been about the same. We still do it as much as when we were first dating. Even if we go somewhere and his mom drives, FI sits in the front, but he'll reach his hand around and touch my knee or I'll hold his hand there too.

loves2shop4shoes

FI and I are both extremely affectionate people.  We snuggle ALL.THE.TIME.  We hold hands all the time.  We kiss and say I love you all the time.  Sometimes we'll tickle each other, or I'll playfully bite him.

I iz luvs affekshuns.

caitlin.cave

How is it that even when it's a question specifically about individual relationships, Desert still manages to say everything I could have thought to say, even down to the 5 love languages?  Your awesomeness knows no bounds, Desert.

We sit on opposite sides of the table though, because I like to look directly at him when we talk; I think it bugs him sometimes because when we're cuddling and I want to tell him something longish/important (usually the latest Psychology geekery), I have to pick my head up and look at him before I talk.

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_physical-affection-survey?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6185e681-671b-4d47-8f44-71c7c5e9306cPost:cc2472fc-e11a-4f87-8d07-dec7d1a4ab99">Re: Physical Affection Survey</a>:
[QUOTE]How is it that even when it's a question specifically about individual relationships, Desert still manages to say everything I could have thought to say, even down to the 5 love languages?  Your awesomeness knows no bounds, Desert. We sit on opposite sides of the table though, because I like to look directly at him when we talk; I think it bugs him sometimes because when we're cuddling and I want to tell him something longish/important (usually the latest Psychology geekery), I have to pick my head up and look at him before I talk.
Posted by caitlin.cave[/QUOTE]

Ha ha ha, thanks, friend! :)

klkaigev

We're super affectionate. I don't think one of us is more needful of affection than the other. It's sort of something we feed back and forth to each other that sustains us and reinforces our bond.

prbright

YAY for LDR almost being done Matt and I will be over withours in exactly two months. WOOHOO! It's an awesome feeling. 

How important is physical affection (outside of sex) in your relationship?

To me it's very important. I am a very physical person and one way of communicating love for me is by physical contact. We're not overly PDA, but we do hold hands and kiss in public. To me it's not a big deal.

Do one of you need more affection than the other or are you pretty evenly matched? Are you happy with how affectionate you are?

We're both pretty evenly matched. We're both affectionate and when we're home, we absolutely love to cuddle. We always fall asleep cuddling, naturally we drift apart during the night, but usually one of us will always find each other again. I love that Matt is so affectionate and enjoys holding me. It's like my safe haven, where I go when things get hard.

How has the level of physical affection in your relationship changed over time? Has it

When we were going through our rough time, the affection changed a lot, sometimes even touching him became hard for me because I was so upset with what was happening between us.

Now that we have reconnected, it has been better then ever. I always make sure to hug him our kiss him or squeeze his neck just to let him know I love him.

kellyt89

I love that everyone is so affectionate with their SO's - I totally agree that it reinforces your bond as a couple. BF and I try to hold hands when we fight too (when we're actually around each other...) because it helps us stay calmer and not get mean.