Suggestions?

csousa1

So today would have been BF's best friend's 28th birthday. He died a little over a year ago. Last year, it was only a couple of months after his death, so for his birthday a bunch of us went to a Yankees/Sox game in NY to commemorate (he was a die-hard Yankees fan).

I know BF will be a bit sad and pensive today, so I wanted to do something small to cheer him up and let him know I'm thinking about him. The more I started thinking of things to do (buy him a little present, make him a dinner he loves, etc), the less it felt right. I mean, I am all for remembering Aaron with happiness and not just sorrow, but I don't know what gesture will be appropriate. Knowing my BF, he won't really want to talk about it or make a big thing of it, so I want to respect that. I also don't want the day to pass without any notice, so I just wanted a very small gesture, and to let him be with his thoughts.

Any suggestions? Also, what do you all think of commemorating the birthdays/death days of loved ones who have passed? Is it sweet, heartfelt, creepy, unnecessary? I'm interested to hear people's thoughts.

lunarsongbird

I've never done anything on sad days in which people have passed...I know that if it was me- I'd want them moving on and doing their thing.

However, I'd make Aaron's favorite dinner and buy his favorite beer.
And I'd make a little toast at dinner, "To Aaron."

Sweet, Simple- but still acknowledging the day.

If Aaron was a girl- I would say plant a flower bulb, but not sure Aaron would appreciate that as much. Unless of course...he had a secret love of dafodills.

Also- I know this day is hard for you too! Keep your head up! Aaron would want it that way. Love ya bunches!!

becunning2

In Response to Re: Suggestions?:
[QUOTEHowever, I'd make Aaron's favorite dinner and buy his favorite beer. And I'd make a little toast at dinner, "To Aaron." Sweet, Simple- but still acknowledging the day. 
Posted by lunarsongbird[/QUOTE]

I was going to type out this exact same thing, but Lunar is such a rock star she beat me to it!  

cu97tiger

How about buying your BF a little yankees thing... maybe a piece of chocolate, or a headband, or a sticker... and just leaving him a note that says 'Thinking of Aaron (and you) today.'

Thoughts are with both of you today... I know it's got to be tough.

jaycee7389

It depends on the person. My best friend passed away last year, and TBH I didn't want to be reminded of it all day. I went to visit her grave site, and I of course thought about her all day, but it was just too hard to do much else. I like Tiger's suggestion..simple and not overbearing.

deburnin

FI has a jack and coke with a twist of lime every father's day and on his dad's birthday to remember his dad who died in a motorcycle accident. It was his dad's favorite drink.

I marked the one year anniversary of my mom's best friend's death by calling both her and my dad to let them know I was thinking about them and to see how they were doing. And I'll be calling or visiting my gma in December when it's the one year of my uncle being killed. I definitely know that any big reminder of my uncle would push my gma over the edge, but it's going to be a rough day so I want to at least let her know that I'm thinking of her.

lennonkdc

I would keep it very small. Maybe just a big, extra long hug when BF gets home, tell him you love him and, as always are here for him if he wants to talk. He'll know why. From what you've posted before, Aarons death was very difficult for him, and he's still mourning. I would just let him know you're there for him, anything else might be too painful.

csousa1

Thank you for your help ladies! I think I will keep it very simple for him - he asked if we could have BLTs for dinner, and I said of course, or I could make him something special. He said simple is key for tonight, so I will respect that.

I thought of taking a picture that BF loves, of him and his friend and another friend of theirs all doing the Captain Morgan pose, and editing and framing it for him. But I think I will pass, because I have no idea how he would take that. Unfortunately I have no way of relating to this in the slightest..I am pretty clueless on the matter and it's kind of frustrating to be so clueless 

I think I'll leave it at BLTs and a hug.

bsidebella

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_suggestions-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:64e030f8-6f25-4358-a1ac-d441bd9b7106Post:c6189268-3df2-4a66-925d-a15d297c7b71">Re: Suggestions?</a>:
[QUOTE]It depends on the person. My best friend passed away last year, and TBH I didn't want to be reminded of it all day. I went to visit her grave site, and I of course thought about her all day, but it was just too hard to do much else.
Posted by jaycee7389[/QUOTE]

Ditto this. I don't like to be reminded what day it is on the day my father died. I like to be left alone. I keep very busy on that day too, so I don't think about it. I only missed school on the one-year anniversary. But I go about the day as usual.