Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)

laurynfaerie

Backstory: I moved in with FI in August, he already had 3 room mates, who were asked if this would bother them and they all said no. About 2 weeks after I moved in, one of the guys that lives upstairs (we have five bedrooms, 4 upstairs, one in the basement, plus the alcove-type thing where our bed is) decided that he didn't want me living here, unless he got to pay less rent because of it.
 
I didn't have a job at the time, and Ryan wasn't about to make me take a job I'd hate to pay rent (he still won't let me pay actually) So jerk-face room mate was told to get over it.

The way the rent is paid is that Ryan gave the landlord a bunch of cheques, and then the guys were supposed to pay him their share in cash. Now BOTH of the guys who live upstairs were always late paying, so the last cheque bounced, and they're refusing to pay,.

So now, we have until saturday to be out of the house, because the landolord has found new tenants. So Ryan and I are scrambling to find a place, which is apparently easier said than done, the one rommie we actually see/like is moving back to his dad or sister's place, and we have no idea if the two upstairs even know we have to be out.


Sorry this turned out to be a lot longer than I though it would.

CN: We have jerk-face roommates, and now need to move out by satuday

Elle1036

Get on craigslist and look in the "roommates" section.  There are probably a bunch of people out there with houses or apartments that have extra rooms they are trying to rent out.  A lot of times, if you go that route, you can cut through the red tape of dealing with a leasing company.  That's not always desireable in the long run, but it's a good quick fix.

palmettogirl924

Try subleasing something for a few months, most offer the first month free. This will give you time to look for something. Or go look at an apartment complex and get a 1 bedroom for you guys. My advice (because I've been here) is if you move in with roommates, make sure you tell them you aren't going to count as 2 different people, that you guys are only willing to pay the rent for ONE room. Most room mates will expect you guys to be included in the total divide of rent... So say you guys move in with 3 other people, you need to tell them rent won't be divided by 5, it will be divided by 4. You need to find people comfortable with that. Same goes for utiltiies.

laurynfaerie

The biggest problem is that we have furniture for every room except a dining room, so one option we have is to rent a storage place and crash with my parents or sister for a little while. We have been looking on craigslist, kijiji, and a whole slew of rental websites. I think I just needed to vent lol.
Thanks for the advice though Elle

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_freaking-out-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65166951-e5f0-43a6-b35a-fb549e59adbfPost:ff1ae6dd-9418-4bbe-9dd2-a71c4cfe57d7">Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]Try subleasing something for a few months, most offer the first month free. This will give you time to look for something. Or go look at an apartment complex and get a 1 bedroom for you guys. My advice (because I've been here) is if you move in with roommates, make sure you tell them you aren't going to count as 2 different people, that you guys are only willing to pay the rent for ONE room. Most room mates will expect you guys to be included in the total divide of rent... So say you guys move in with 3 other people, you need to tell them rent won't be divided by 5, it will be divided by 4. <strong>You need to find people comfortable with that.</strong> Same goes for utiltiies.
Posted by palmettogirl924[/QUOTE]
I would never be comfortable with that. Especially if one of them was using utilities... I mean, if you're using it, you have to pay for it. I'm not going to use twice as much water JUST so I'll feel like I'm paying an even amount, ya know?

I must have misunderstood the vent because I just assumed the boyfriend was paying the rent FOR her, instead of her shelling out the money. But if they were pretending that the cost of two people is the same as one person, I can totally see why the roommates were annoyed. That just wasn't a logical financial situation for them.

Either way, I'd craigslist it. :)

bethsmiles

Honestly I would have been pissed if I had a roommate who wasn't paying rent.If there are 5 people it should be split 5 ways, but it was stupid of them to not pay because now you all are in a really shitty situation. When you move to a new place you either need to pay rent or tell people that you and your BF are only counting yourself as one person (but I doubt you will find someone who will really be ok with that because you aren't one person).

Also, just get a job (whether you like it or not...the economy sucks so take what you can get) so that you can pay rent so that you don't have this situation again.

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_freaking-out-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65166951-e5f0-43a6-b35a-fb549e59adbfPost:6fbb91d8-ebad-4e91-a64d-f2bf15fd97a5">Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly I would have been pissed if I had a roommate who wasn't paying rent.<strong>If there are 5 people it should be split 5 ways</strong>, but it was stupid of them to not pay because now you all are in a really shitty situation. When you move to a new place you either need to pay rent or tell people that you and your BF are only counting yourself as one person (but I doubt you will find someone who will really be ok with that because you aren't one person). Also, just get a job (whether you like it or not...the economy sucks so take what you can get) so that you can pay rent so that you don't have this situation again.
Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

I disagree.  At least around here, rent is typically divided by bedroom, which makes sense.  If OP were going to pay rent, too, she would be entitled to her own space in the house, which she didn't have.

Utilities, however, are another matter.

Anyway, good luck Lauryn! 

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_freaking-out-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65166951-e5f0-43a6-b35a-fb549e59adbfPost:8f09dd8f-6041-4ce4-8a87-481bddd4ff84">Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry) : I disagree.  At least around here, rent is typically divided by bedroom, which makes sense.  If OP were going to pay rent, too, she would be entitled to her own space in the house, which she didn't have. Utilities, however, are another matter. Anyway, good luck Lauryn! 
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]
As long as she is taking up space in the apartment or house on a daily basis full-time, she counts as a body. Everytime she watches tv in the living room, keeps food in the fridge or spends time in a shared bathroom on a daily basis, she is using the space when the other roommates can not. She should be made to pay for that space she uses. Especially if she uses just as much space outside of the bedroom as everyone else. This is, of course, assuming she doesn't spend all her time in the bedroom with her own, private bathroom, kitchen and other stuff.
And, of course, utilities should be split evenly between all the roommates.

KatyRoseM

When I had a roommate we paid by room, it makes sense to me.  Utilities are different. 

laurynfaerie

I guess I was a little unclear, I have offered several times to pay rent, so that it would be split five ways, but FI and the roommate we share the basement with both said that that was stupid. I only use our "bedroom" (it's not actually a room, it's just a part of the basement that can only be seen from our couch) and the bathroom on the main level. And the other guys were ok with that at first, then changed their minds.

They are now refusing to pay rent, not because of me living here, but for other, less reasonable reasons. It doesn't really matter at this point because we wanted to move out anyway, but were going to be stuck until june I think.

It's just the short notice that is stressing us out.


ETA: I do have a job now, and FI still won't let me pay rent. He's really old-school, and thinks it's his job to "take care of" me. Nevermind the fact that I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, or at least contributing more than he'll allow

palmettogirl924

Well, here (esp. since it's a college town) you pay per person in a room. So again, if you guys are just going to pay for your bedroom you need to find people will be ok and aware of this situation beforehand. Not saying it won't work, but room mates are difficult and you should be upfront with them about it in the begining. If FI feels like it's his job, then you need to tell your other roommates that. If they're not okay with you paying for the room, while both of ya'll live in it, then move on to another house.

Also, trying living with another couple if you can't afford to do it without roommates. They'd be willing and would understand the situation.

laurynfaerie

The roommates were friends of his from work, and really we're not looking for more roommates, we're trying to find a place of our own. So we don't have to worry as much about bothering people. We have appointments to see 4 places this week so hopefully one of them works out.

Thanks for all the advice guys

Simply Fated

I like the idea of finding another couple to live with who might understand easier that you are not two people and just want to be counted as one person.

ETA: Good luck apartment/house hunting!

Ana_2985

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_freaking-out-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65166951-e5f0-43a6-b35a-fb549e59adbfPost:a8e17892-b3bf-44d2-a87b-f6b1b06f144c">Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the idea of finding another couple to live with who might understand easier that <strong>you are not two people </strong>and just want to be counted as one person. ETA: Good luck apartment/house hunting!
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]

Whaaat? They are two people. Not one.

[QUOTE]ETA: I do have a job now, and FI still won't let me pay rent. He's really old-school, and thinks <strong>it's his job to "take care of" me</strong>. Nevermind the fact that I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, or at least contributing more than he'll allow
Posted by laurynfaerie[/QUOTE]

That's fine, but it's not your BF's roommates' job to "take care of" you so they shouldn't be paying for the utilities you are using. Sorry, but I don't think you guys have any right to be upset. Go ahead and find another place, but I don't think you should be expecting any money from those other guys.

zipis1

Yeah, around here you're expected to pay per person, unless previously agreed upon. I had a similar situation a few years ago, when a friend moved in with her husband. There was a LOT of hoopla over how the rent should be split. Utilities we all agreed should be split evenly for all people, but rent was a different matter.

In the end we ended up having them pay a little bit more in rent. Not a full split, since they were sharing a room (which they were married, so that's part of what we were stuck with. They're supposed to do that), but they were still taking up extra fridge, counter, pantry, living room, and bathroom space, so we felt that at least that much should be compensated for.

Anecdote aside, I'm sorry you're being faced with such short notice, but I'm sure you'll figure this out. I don't blame your roommates for being upset over the rent issue in theory, but if they were going to have a problem with it then they should have said something from the beginning (assuming you told them you wouldn't be splitting rent).

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_freaking-out-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65166951-e5f0-43a6-b35a-fb549e59adbfPost:65385542-34a9-44e9-90a3-6fc4d57f535c">Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry) : Whaaat? They are two people. Not one.
Posted by Ana_2985[/QUOTE]
lol, I know, but she wants them to be counted as one person, not two.

I have never heard of anything like that before, being charged per room and not per person. I mean, what if of the roommates has, like, 3 people move into their room, split the cost of the <em>already</em> split cost and use all the hot water and fridge space they want for a very reduced price? Paying per room is completely unfair.
In my area, we call people who don't pay rent "squatters" and it's general frowned upon. It's fine if the other roommates agreed to it, but I personally wouldn't have.

palmettogirl924

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_freaking-out-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65166951-e5f0-43a6-b35a-fb549e59adbfPost:e7b48dca-6155-40d3-a219-296f81967252">Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry) : lol, I know, but she wants them to be counted as one person, not two. I have never heard of anything like that before, being charged per room and not per person. I mean, what if of the roommates has, like, 3 people move into their room, split the cost of the already split cost and use all the hot water and fridge space they want for a very reduced price? Paying per room is completely unfair. In my area, we call people who don't pay rent "squatters" and it's general frowned upon. It's fine if the other roommates agreed to it, but I personally wouldn't have.
Posted by Simply Fated[/QUOTE]


It is 100% frowned upon over here too. I could have 6 people move into my bedroom and only pay $50.00 a month. Regardless, most people WON'T be okay with this, esp. since you guys aren't married. If FI wants to make this his "job" then you guys should live on your own. Or, like I said, another couple who has the same mentality and mind set, would be much more willing to go along with this

laurynfaerie

They didn't have a problem with it in the first place, they just randomly decided a couple of months after the fact that they had a problem.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_freaking-out-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:65166951-e5f0-43a6-b35a-fb549e59adbfPost:5a3d4bc2-35da-4d56-82a1-925f823be721">Re: Freaking out! (Long, Sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]They didn't have a problem with it in the first place, they just randomly decided a couple of months after the fact that they had a problem.
Posted by laurynfaerie[/QUOTE]
Out ouf curioisty, what problem did they say they had? I mean, you said they were always late paying their share, so was it really a surprise when they were <em>so</em> late that the check bounced?

laurynfaerie

Ryan thinks, and I agree that they are just using me living here as an excuse to not pay the money they owe him. They are a couple of months behind at this point I think. They claim the reason they aren't paying this month is that they cleaned up after the Halloween party we had, which Ryan and I were going to do after work, but since they work nights, they came home and "cleaned" at like 5 am. What they actually did was throw all of the decorations in a pile at the foot of the stairs.