Two ceremonies?

lego04

So...I have decided that I want a ceremony at the church I frequently attend.  However, we already booked our October wedding in the Florida Keys.  Would it be crazy to have the church ceremony the weekend before our destination wedding and then just exchange vows at the destination one?  The only thing I dont like is that it would throw off our official wedding date (which is of significance to us) since the church ceremony would become the official date.  

Any ideas for those of you that know anyone who may have done something similiar or who yourselves may be doing this?   Thanks!

calliopeia2013

This is...not really a popular thing to do on this site, so you might be getting some negative responses to this post.

Short answer, though- your ceremony is your wedding, and, contrary to what you see in the wedding industry, for some people it's still meaningful to actually see you get married; not everyone is just showing up for the reception food. 

Personally, I wouldn't come to a destination wedding if the bride and groom had actually been married the week before, because it wouldn't be worth it to me; I wouldn't actually get to see their wedding and it wouldn't be worth the travel just to go to a party.  And, in case it's not clear, having a fake ceremony at your destination and tricking the guests into thinking it's the real one is about as low as you can sink.  I hope you wouldn't consider such a thing, but I wanted to mention it because some people do.

em01092

Are your family/friends invited to the DW? Would they be invited to both ceremonies or is the DW just for you and FI/close family? If the church wedding would allow more people to come, then that's pretty common, I think (though some people do it in reverse order- they'll have a little "fake ceremony" for the people who couldn't attend the DW-I think they are silly personally but a lot of people do it to appease family). 

It's probably NBD, but you will already be married at your DW if you get married at your church and some of your guests at the DW may think it's a little silly. 

I don't mean for this to sound harsh, but I guess I don't understand why, if a church wedding was so important, you didn't decide on that from the start, and if the DW will be either a) the same people who saw you wed the first time, or b) just you and FI, why there is need to do it again. If it's important to you to do both, then do both. Just my two cents. 

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_two-ceremonies-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:d22bd031-17a3-453b-949b-f640d4c0a0dfPost:265a595a-6e26-44bf-87e9-595a92a60375">Two ceremonies?</a>:
[QUOTE]So...I have decided that I want a ceremony at the church I frequently attend.  However, we already booked our October wedding in the Florida Keys.  Would it be crazy to have the church ceremony the weekend before our destination wedding and then just exchange vows at the destination one?  The only thing I dont like is that it would throw off our official wedding date (which is of significance to us) since the church ceremony would become the official date.   Any ideas for those of you that know anyone who may have done something similiar or who yourselves may be doing this? :/  Thanks!
Posted by lego04[/QUOTE]

<div>You get one wedding. Considering you apparently already have money invested in the DW, you should probably choose that one unless the church is truly more important to you than the money.</div>

HobokensFury

DItto PP. You get one wedding.  Have you looked into having a covalidation ceremony in church after your DW?  FI and I plan to do this eventually.

ElleB87

You're probably going to infuriate anyone who has made any sort of financial committment to attend your DW (including booking time off work) if you do a church wedding a week before.

TiffannieF

Ya, PP have brought up some good points.  I wouldn't do 2.  I know you might be bummed for not getting the ceremony in the church but honestly at the end of the day it's all about being married to your FI.

There were MANY things I REALLY wanted for our wedding but weren't able to do, doesn't make our marriage bad.

graysquirrel

If I paid a ton of money to go to a DW and found out that the couple had already gotten married, I would be ticked. I think that this is one of those cases where you have to choose between places and keep it at that. You only get one wedding.

ceh789

I would feel like you were inviting me on your honeymoon if you invited me to your DW the week after you actually got married.  That would be so wierd.