BSC or more normal than I thought....

uufunnybunny

I've been lurking for a while on this board but now I find I must ask the question. Am I BSC or is my situation more normal than I thought.

The skinny: My BF and I have been together for a while and due to a quite a bit of teasing from friends we started talking about getting hitched. Wasn't a doubt in my mind that he's the one regardless of the amount of teasing. We haven't met each others parents yet due to them living across the country from us and said we couldn't get engaged without meeting them first. We've already discussed when/ where we will get married (next June, Hawaii), and even have been researching buying a home. I told him I've started brain storming ideas because I'm excited and he's totally encouraging. He's doing the bulk of house researching and we share with each other what we find. He says he has an idea of what ring he wants to get me and stated that he'll propose around the holidays.

So my question to the community is this...... since it's 6 months until the holidays and until I'm "ring official" engaged is it BSC that I'm even brain storming ideas for next year? I enjoy looking at TK when I need a mental moment at work and the BF and said he doesn't mind one bit if I start collecting photos of this I like and links. He's even asked for photos for guidance on the ring. But I still can't help but think I may be jumping the gun and deminishing the fun come the ring.

So I send this question to my fellow (to quote the BF) gals who are "Engaged to be Engaged". Am I BSC?

ADTonk

I think if he's okay with it then go ahead.  Most will tell you not to preplan but if both of your are planning I don't see the big deal.

heyimbren

I would say that depends on whether you two say you're engaged or not. I don't like the official/unofficial terms because that's where things tend to get murky. But if you two are just waiting to meet the parents and start wearing the ring, yet in the meantime you two are engaged, then I see no problem with planning.

Just don't make this more complicated than it is.

bethsmiles

This is a super exciting time in your life and it's totally normal to day dream and even to look at pictures. As long as you aren't actually planning anything and your BF knows and is fine with everything you are doing I don't think you are BSC. Just don't get carried away. If you feel like you might be taking away from the experience of being engaged then just let your BF know you would prefer to wait until you are engaged to discuss all of this.

Oh and totally stick around on the knot. We have lots of fun times here

lunarsongbird

Stupid Knot ate my response- well fooled you, TK. I copied it- because I don't trust you right now. I know you are grieving about KnotTV, but give me a break, okay, TK? 

My pasted response:

If he knows that you are day dreaming and saving a special picture here or there- that's fine, I think. But I'm going to guess a lot of people are going to tell you to cool it.

One of the reasons that I would say to cool it is because you could get all excited about something- and then find out he wants something TOTALLY different. Also- it kind of pushes your relationship in the future- when you really should be enjoying the present. Once you actually get engaged- their will be all sorts of planning to do- and families want to invite everyone and their cousins to the wedding. It will be a bit stressful.

Just enjoy this pre-engagement glow for a bit. And stick around for awhile.

lunarsongbird

heyimbren

Hahah Lunar- I try to do the same thing with copying my posts before I add them. TK has eaten too many of my posts in the past!

SKP82

You specifically said that you won't get engaged until you meet each other's parents.  So, you're not engaged, as that hasn't happened yet.

Even AFTER you meet each other's parents, you shouldn't consider yourself engaged unless you have a conversation about it and BOTH consider yourselves to be engaged.  It sounds like he expects to propose before considering yourselves engaged, though.

Do not plan until you are actually engaged.  Things change.  I thought I would have been engaged last August due to conversations my BF and I had a year prior to that.  Guess what?  We're still not engaged.

SKP82

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bsc-normal-thought?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:69490f22-e9a4-4428-b8f4-098be69c017cPost:1587cd0a-d164-43b3-badf-0cbdd2efe740">BSC or more normal than I thought....</a>:
[QUOTE] So I send this question to my fellow (to quote the BF) gals who are <strong>"Engaged to be Engaged".</strong> Am I BSC?
Posted by uufunnybunny[/QUOTE]

Please do not ever, ever, EVER say this again.  <strong>EVER</strong>.

IrishDreamer

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_bsc-normal-thought?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:69490f22-e9a4-4428-b8f4-098be69c017cPost:6c5755c4-552e-455e-bf25-cbb9fb8e6ae7">Re: BSC or more normal than I thought....</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to BSC or more normal than I thought.... : Please do not ever, ever, EVER say this again.  EVER .
Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

This.... SO says this to people all the time...drives me Effin nuts....OR he will say we are "pearled"...ugh...hate it

uufunnybunny

Thank's everyone for all the great input. I've been thinking about cooling it anyways and just needed  the outside validation that that would be the smart thing to do. I'm just going to enjoy this time and our parents will be very happy to know each other before we make that an important step.

Thanks again everyone!

loves2shop4shoes

You don't need a ring to be engaged.  So, if you're engaged sans ring, it's not BSC to look.  If you aren't engaged, hold your horses.

And might I just add that being teased by your friends is the single worst reason I've heard to consider getting married at a given time.

uufunnybunny

We had been talking about it for a while, but we thought it would be a cute story as to what spired the serious discussion. Either way, the talks have continued on a daily basis for over the past month but the research is on hold for now. It's better this way.