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T&Ps please - semi long

Hi Ladies. I know I haven’t been around much at all lately, and I come back with a heavy heart. Monday night one of my two dogs got hit and killed by a car. It was dark, raining, and she ran out in the road. This has shaken my entire family. My mom was alone and both my stepfather and I rushed home. We sat in silence and crying for 3 hours.

Our other dog, who was the sister of the one who got hit, doesn’t know what to do with herself. She didn’t know who to comfort and where to go. We brought her out to her sister so she would know what was going on, and she sniffed her, but I don’t know if she really could tell. This morning when I got home from BF’s, she was excited to see me, but didn’t run to my car like she usually would, and went right over to our other dogs bowl and sniffed around like she was looking for her.

So if you all wouldn’t mind can you please send over any extra thoughts and prayers that you have. My whole family is a wreck. My poor parents are playing the blame game with each other and its just so heartbreaking. I honestly can’t wrap my head around the whole thing. I feel like my head is in the clouds and I feel like I am just going through the motions. I don’t know what I am going to do without her and what our other dog is going to do. She was my grandfather’s dog, and when he passed she went through a depression that she finally got out of, and we are afraid she is going to fall back into it. This just sucks.



These are my girls. The brown one is Bailey, she is the one we lost. The Black one is Dixie, she is the sister that we are worried about now.

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Re: T&Ps please - semi long

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    deburnindeburnin member
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    edited December 2011
    Bigs hugs, C. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. <3 
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    SwazzleSwazzle member
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    edited December 2011
    I am so so sorry CDE. Losing a pet is just awful.  Sending you & your family & Dixie t&p!!! 

    My cats, Chip & Dale, were brothers.  We had them for 14 years & knew it was getting close to their time.  When Dale passed away Chip was exactly the same as Dixie.  He would go to where Dale used to sleep & search for him.  It's so heartbreaking because they really don't know what's happened.  I think after a few months he started to get out of his funk but it was hard seeing him so sad  :(



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    Hazel_BHazel_B member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh no, cde! I'm so sorry about Bailey! I once had a dog hit by a car and it was really difficult to deal with, so I completely understand.

    I'll be thinking about you!
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry cde.  we lost one of our beloved dogs a couple years ago, and it is so hard... especially when it's an accident and blame is being tossed around.  my dog, who was a puppy at the time, went through a short period of depression missing the one we lost, but she ended up being alright after 2 or 3 months.  hopefully your family and your other dog adjust to the absence soon.  :(  give her lots of love and attention... maybe it'll make all of you feel better!
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    cu97tigercu97tiger member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Oh cde, my heart is breaking for you. I also have two dogs, and they are brothers. I cannot imagine what we will do when it is time for them to go, and I cannot imagine one without the other, so I can imagine how hard this time must be.

    You, your parents and Dixie are in my prayers, and may Bailey RIP.
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    elanniselannis member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry to hear this. Losing a pet/part of the family is always such a horrible experience. Your family and Dixie will be in my T&P.
    -Ely

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    Elle1036Elle1036 member
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    edited December 2011
    <3  I'm so sorry this happened to you guys.

    My advice for you:  When our family cat passed away earlier this year, I didn't get a whole lot of comfort from my friends of family.  I think they thought that since I hadn't shared a home with the cat since before college, I shouldn't be so upset.  To me, she was still my baby and having my feelings invalidated didn't help at all.

    The one thing I did find comfort in was (and I know that this sounds strange) reading online info about the stages of grief.  It helped me to know that what I was feeling was normal and healthy and that I would get through it.  I could literally feel the weight lifting off my chest while I read.  Maybe it could help you, too?

    My advice for Dixie:  Just keep her company as much as you guys possibly can.  You did the right thing by showing her Bailey's body, so she just needs time to process it now.  Give her long petting sessions and take on extra walks.  If you go anywhere in the car for a quick errand, take her with you.  Basically, anytime she spends not alone will help.  Also, if you have anything that smells like Bailey (old toys or a dog bed, etc) leave it out for Dixie.

    Also, when enough time has passed, you guys may want to consider getting another dog.  I know it's impossible to think about right now, and there's no hurry, but dogs are companion animals and it would probably help Dixie a lot to get a new friend.
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry, losing a pet is losing a member of the family. T&P for you! :(
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry cde. I can't imagine losing a pet. It must be so hard. I'm sorry for your other doggie too, it's gotta be hard to lose your companion. I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts today.
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    lunarsongbirdlunarsongbird member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh, Cde...I'm so sorry to hear this. :( Your family and Dixie will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    I have no doubt that doggies go to heaven...(Did I tell you about the story of when my grandmother died? The day she died- she woke up- looked into the sky and said, "They're throwing me a party! And all the animals are there!)

    ::hugs::

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    edited December 2011
    Aww, thoughts and prayers for your family and for Dixie.  Beautiful dogs, so sad to hear.  :(
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    lennonkdclennonkdc member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry for your loss cde. I'm sending extra love and hugs your families way.



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    motoLynmotoLyn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    CDE I am so sorry to hear this news.  I agree with Elle that keeping her company will help her transition.  I'm sending you all the hugs and positive vibes I can.  It is a sad day to lose a loving pet. but Bailey will always be with you.  Just take you time and fine the closure you need. 
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    sparkles88sparkles88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I am so sorry for your loss, CDE.
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    karlee4everkarlee4ever member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Prayers for you and your family and your Dixie baby. My suggestion: filet mignon? Try to keep her mind off everything. Im sorry this happened!
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    becunning2becunning2 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry Cde--it's hard losing a pet, even harder to a terrible and unexpected accident. How awful.  I hope your parents can try to quit blaming each other, that probably doesn't help anything right now. :(

    Hugs to you, to Dixie, and your parents. And I'm imagining your beautiful Bailey bounding around in heaven/the great big field in the sky/rainbow bridge.
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    MLekathLEENMLekathLEEN member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry for your loss CDC. You and your family are in my prayers. I agree with everything Elle said about trying to help Dixie. It's hard for us humans but I can't imagine how a dog must feel that their BFF is gone and they can't comprehend why/how/etc. She may need another companion when you guys are ready. We got Binx about a week after Bosco died and he really helped us cope with our loss. Well, it was that or he was so bad we were too busy keeping him out of trouble to think about it.
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    tafft1tafft1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    i am so sorry for your loss of your family member :( It's so difficult watching the other half of a pair try and understand what happened..i've had to go through it with my cats i've had before and it's hard i know. Sending love and thoughts your way to everyone in your family.
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    thejucheideathejucheidea member
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with everything Elle said and I am so, so sorry for your loss. After my childhood dog died, we didn't have a dog for seven years because it hurt so badly. Now that my two are a little below middle aged, I'm starting to worry about how they'll react if one dies because they love each other so much.

    I'll burn some incense for your doggie and family when I get home from work tonight.

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    LizzyTish88LizzyTish88 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Thank you all so much. Your support and kind words mean so much.

    I keep trying so hard to hold back my tears at work. I just can't find a place in my head for this to go. We have had to put a dog down before, and a cat down, but I knew they were suffering and in pain, so it was for the best. This was in NO way to best thing for her. She was just a puppy. She had to have been so scared. :(

    As for the getting another dog, it won't happen. We had to put down a dog before we got Bailey and my stepfather did not want another dog after that. My mom and I convinced him to get Bailey and he went along but not really willing. After Monday night, he told Dixie that she was the last of the Mohegan's and that he would never own another dog after her. He doesn't want to have to feel this pain again.

    BF and I both love animals and will get them eventually. I am not going to let this put me off from getting another pet down the road, I just know my family won't. BF is being so supportive through this all but I still just want to hide.

    I feel like I am in a living nightmare and I just want to wake up!!
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    ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Oh CDE that is terrible I am so sorry!  *hugs*  I will be praying for you and your family!
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    csousa1csousa1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry cde. The loss of a pet is a particular kind of sorrow, especially when you now have to worry about another one that can't cry or yell or tell you how she is feeling. It must be heartbreaking seeing her look for her sister. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, and I wish you all comfort in your hard time. Soooo many huge hugs to you!
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    csousa1csousa1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_tps-please-semi-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:69845cfa-e32b-4495-9aec-80a0e56b40b8Post:f80c4b3f-6377-4a87-8bf1-729058dfdf83">Re: T&Ps please - semi long</a>:
    [QUOTE]<3  I'm so sorry this happened to you guys. My advice for you:  When our family cat passed away earlier this year, I didn't get a whole lot of comfort from my friends of family.  I think they thought that since I hadn't shared a home with the cat since before college, I shouldn't be so upset.  To me, she was still my baby and having my feelings invalidated didn't help at all. <strong>The one thing I did find comfort in was (and I know that this sounds strange) reading online info about the stages of grief.  It helped me to know that what I was feeling was normal and healthy and that I would get through it.  I could literally feel the weight lifting off my chest while I read.  </strong>Maybe it could help you, too? My advice for Dixie:  Just keep her company as much as you guys possibly can.  You did the right thing by showing her Bailey's body, so she just needs time to process it now.  Give her long petting sessions and take on extra walks.  If you go anywhere in the car for a quick errand, take her with you.  Basically, anytime she spends not alone will help.  Also, if you have anything that smells like Bailey (old toys or a dog bed, etc) leave it out for Dixie. Also, when enough time has passed, you guys may want to consider getting another dog.  I know it's impossible to think about right now, and there's no hurry, but dogs are companion animals and it would probably help Dixie a lot to get a new friend.
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    This. Have you ever heard of the book Surviving the Loss of a Love? It is amazing. It talks about coping with the loss of everything, from a person to a pet to an era of your life that you have to move on from. It tells you than any kind of loss you are experiencing is valid and that you are completely okay to feel how you feel. I've revisited the book many times, after breakups, when I graduated college, and when my parent's cat died, and it offered the same amount of comfort every time.
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    edited December 2011
    I"m so sorry CDE about the loss of your dog.  Words can't describe what you must be feeling and all that is going on.  I will keep your and your family, and Dixie in my thoughts and prayers.

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