How Did You Know He Was The One?

[Deleted User]

So I was just reading an article that was titled "How I Knew She Was The One" and thought it would make a great topic for this board! 

Do you have a specific moment or thing your SO did to made you think "I could really see myself marrying this guy"? Do share!

[Deleted User]

For me, I was able to share something with BF that I had never told anyone else (sorry, I'm not telling you all either). He was a great listener, and was very supportive - and he didn't run away! Honestly though, it would have chased a lot of guys off, but not him.

Plus he always cleans the microwave before my mom visits - KEEPER!

AudgiePodge

He has a lot of money.

marleylikeair

No one real moment. Lots of little moments that warmed my heart and broke down my defenses, one by one, eventually making possible the feeling I have now: a warm, constant glow of being sure about him and loving him always.

One moment does come to mind, though. It was when I was still in New York and taking long, long walks around Brooklyn to talk to him. It had started raining and I couldn't walk back to my apartment yet; I was standing under an awning. He said something about if he were there, he'd walk in the rain with me. I melted. I told him he had windows into my heart.

/end mushy rhapsodizing!

motoLyn

I don't think I had a moment... it was more like it creeped up on me and one day the cherry was placed on top and I was like "Hey, Danish man and I are meant to be in this for the long run" that day I will admit was when he crashed his motorcycle and was in the emergency room for surgery.  I knew if surgery didn't kill him I might for putting me through the grief. 

cu97tiger

My BF and I met on myspace (I emailed him first, long'ish story). So we really got to know each other through emails, texts, phone calls and eventually, a face to face meeting.

About two hours after we met for the first time, we were laying on the couch, and I had this overwhelming sense of being 'home.' Everything just felt right and I actually started crying. I have never felt like that with a person before... and though we've had our share of issues to work through, I've always known that we are a perfect match for each other.

I think as long as my favorite part of the day is coming home to him, we're doing something right

ETA: As I was typing this, 'Lucky I'm in Love' (Jason Mraz/Colbie Caillbert) came on Jango. Pretty perfect timing!

PaigeMcC

He nursed me back to health (after only dating a few months) when I had pneumonia and mono AT THE SAME TIME.  I was home from school and my parents abandoned me to him.  He was amazing.  I thought I was going to die and he kept me alive.

Basically he saved my life....in my mind...

ewhiteman06

He uprooted his life in California and moved to Oregon to be with me a mere 4 weeks after we started dating (at first it scared me shitless as no man has ever made that kind of commitment to me) now I realize it just the beginning of a beautiful life together

jeanacorina

There were several little things. But I KNEW for SURE when he asked me not to leave when I was visiting. We'd had a horrible week- nothing went right, there was a lot of drama and stress, and I was going to break up with him for good. And when I do something FOR GOOD, it's serious. But while I was crying and trying to get the words "This is over" out of my mouth, he just all of a sudden hugged me close and said "Don't go."

I can't go through the whole story leading up to that moment, but a few ladies here know the basics of it, I think. When he said "Don't go" those two words said more than "I love you." "Don't go" said "I just suddenly realized what I have here and what I might lose if I don't grow a pair and stand up for what I want- and what I want is you."

Even DH says that to him, that was equal to a marriage proposal. Asking me to just drop everything and move across the country was huge for such a cautious, level-headed guy. It meant this was it. No turning back. Whatever happened, we were in it together.

Now, after I moved here it wasn't all perfect and we still had some kinks to work out and some stress and some issues. But I didn't doubt that we'd work things out somehow. Even when I told him I would kick him out of our apartment if he didn't come clean to his parents about me living here... I wasn't going to break up with him. I was going to make him sleep in his car, sure. But not break up with him. I knew we'd eventually figure out how to move through our issues.

And we have.

mana8503

I guess hindsight was when we first met and spend 2 hours after dinner in his truck talking in the walmart parking lot.  I was too broken from all the awful BFs I had up until him to see that.

We were "friends" for 4 months, and he kept telling me he was going to break my walls down.  December I got really sick.  103.8 fever, he came over to take care of me.  Got my bed set up how I was laying on the couch, cold compresses, and stayed until he broke below 101.  I realized he was in it for more than the bow chica bow bow... and told him then I would start calling him my bf.  He thought I was talking out of my mind from the fever.  He came over the next day on his lunch break just to check on me, then that night rushed me to the hosiptal in PA (we're in MD) so I could be with my parents.  He didnt leave the er until midnight, hour ride home and up at 445 for work.  I knew he was a keeper and not like the others.

calindi

The moment I realized I was in love with him was one day only a few months after we had started dating (we had been friends for several months before that).  We had spontaneously decided to go to brunch, and then on the way home, decided to take a serious detour.  We went out to the vineyards in Virginia and did wine tasting.  I was cold since I hadn't thought to bring a jacket, and he draped his leather jacket over my shoulders and wrapped me up in his arms.  At the second vineyard, we got a glass of wine and a wheel of cheese and went upstairs to enjoy it in one of the parlours they have with fireplaces.  We started dancing to no music, just laughing and smiling, and I realized that I had fallen head over heels for this man.

It wasn't until the following summer when I realized that I wanted to marry him.  My roommate had gotten hooked on wedding shows (she was leaving ring ads torn out of magazines for her BF... and giving him ultimatums), and I watched them with her once in awhile since my BF was at training all summer for the Marines.  We criticized everything, and I thought, "What do I actually LIKE?" So I landed on TheKnot.com, and was like, "Oh, pretty!" (click, copy, paste in a Word doc).  Before I knew it, the Word doc had about 5-6 pictures and I realized I had started visualizing getting married to this man.  It was a big shocker, and I told him the next time I saw him a few weeks later.  And he said, "Oh, that's good.  Because I've told the guys in my platoon that you're the woman I'm going to marry."  D'awww!

kayely88

There were a few moments that helped me realize he was the one. One took me by complete surprise.

Our first date we went out to dinner at this outdoor mall.  There was a nice promenade/deck behind the restaurant so we walked around and talked for quite some time. After that we went mini golfing and when he walked me back to the car I didn't want the night to end. That was so weird for me because I had never felt like that with anyone before and I figured that I really liked this guy. 

After we started dating I just kept getting more and more comfortable with him. Everything we did  together felt right and gave me a feeling of satisfaction. 

In July I went on my annual family vacation and left BF home. We were sad but we knew that it was going to be okay and that we were strong and a week apart was nothing. 

That whole week I missed him so much. Pathetic I know. When I got back home and went to see him he told me he never wanted to do that again. He told me he never wanted to be separated from me again. And I wholeheartedly agreed. That weekend I knew he was going to be the one I wanted to marry. 

oceana919

I fell for my FI pretty early on, but it was a little later in that I realized that this was The Love, rather than a love.

I had been sick for months. Horribly, nastily sick. In and out of doctors offices, on a different medication each week, getting poked and prodded and scanned and misdiagnosed left and right. Things had been in full swing when we started dating, but he had to watch a lot of the downward spiral and go through a lot of the diagnosis process with me.

Finally, about five months into our relationship, I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I remember walking out to the parking lot, getting in my car, drove to FI's apartment and just started bawling my eyes out. It was a relief to finally know what was wrong with me, but in the back of my mind somewhere, I just always assumed (whether it was right or not to do so) that whatever was wrong with me would be temporary. They'd figure it out, I'd pop some pills, and it would all be back to normal. I never expected that it would be something that I'd have to handle for the rest of my life.

Every possible horrible thought ran through my head. What if I have to have surgery? How many times will I have to have surgery? Where are the lesions? What if I have them in places that could kill me? Does this mean I'm going to get ovarian cancer? What if I can never have kids? What if I can never have sex and actually enjoy it? God forbid, what if I do have a kid and I pass it on to her? How can I have a daughter knowing I may be handing down this to her?

I sat there on his couch, bawling and bawling, and he just sat next to me and held my hand until I calmed down. I finally did, and I looked at him and said, "I will totally understand if you want to walk away now. This is so unfair to you. I will understand, I promise."

He just looked at me and started laughing. No joke - laughing. Finally he stopped, smiled at me, kissed my forehead and said, "I'm going to say 'for better or for worse, in sickness and in health' to you someday. I may as well start practicing now."

And that's when I met my husband.

LizzyTish88

Well actually BF and I had broken up for a while when I first went away to school. We had kept in touch but nothing serious. I tried to date other guys, but every time I liked someone new, I would go back to my roommate and friends in my hall, and break down the new guys, comparing them to BF. No guy ever came close to BF and one day my friend just blurted out of nowhere "I don't know why you try to date other guys, it's clear that BF is the one for you and that you guys are going to get married." I thought about it long and hard after that and realized that it was completely true.

It took some time to work back into things, but eventually we got back together and worked out all of the problems that we had in the past and now were great. We both know that we are going to get married and spend our lives together, now just isn't our time. So we are enjoying the present.

calindi

Oceana, your story made me cry!

oceana919

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_did-one?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:6a14f573-a493-47c6-acd6-7a210d65548ePost:ebdd505d-8f04-44a2-a5f6-6336a6d33bdf">Re: How Did You Know He Was The One?</a>:
[QUOTE]Oceana, your story made me cry!
Posted by calindi[/QUOTE]

Yeah...he made me Kraft Mac & Cheese for dinner that night, too. That was right around the time I decided we'd have 2 kids with an option for a third, and we'd practice <em>a lot.</em> :P</div>

ravenray

Your guys stories are all so great and sweet.

Mine was also little moments.

Within the first two months of dating he told me he would die for me.  That freaked me out because you see never having a boyfriend before and totally sure I was worthless I threw every problem I had at him.  (not even kidding, on our first date I told him all the things that were wrong with me and that I wouldn't be changing...  Not true but still)  I told him my deep dark secret and he didn't even flinch.  But when he told me that I realized he wasn't going to leave and well was he what I really wanted?  Yes.

The second huge thing was when we were in LDR for 4 1/2 months while I was in Europe.  It was terrible.  I was totally insecure and needy.  We spent hours on the phone and I wasted a lot of my time being stupid.  But despite the numerous fights and tears, he was there for me the entire time.  He still loved me even through my painful growing process.  He has a lot of girls offer to go out with him while I was gone but he still wanted me even though I was making him miserable.  That is when I knew I was going to marry him.

My future without him seems bleak.  He makes my life joyful and has helped me grow so much.

One last thing.  Every time we fight we always make up and say sorry.  I have never had anyone do that before.  It makes a world of difference in my life.  I love him.  It's so simple yet so complicated.

Eh sorry that was long and mushy...  hehe

tmacwin

I knew when right before Christmas 09, BF's family all of the sudden turned upside down due to some issues with his parents.  Without even giving it a second thought, I instinctively cared more about his feelings and what his family was going through.  It changed some of our Christmas plans, but that wasn't what was important.  It was supporting him through the issues going on.  And when I realized I could whole heartedly put someone else before myself, which I had never completely experience before, I knew that it was truly special.

DanieKA

It clicked for me when I realized BF loved me more than I loved myself. I've always struggled with my self-esteem in some form or another, whether it was weight, or looks, or smarts, or whatever. The months before I met him were very low for me. I'd come home from living and working abroad for 2 months to be in yet another friend's wedding, I'd had a regrettable "romantic" experience, gained 20lbs. and had convinced myself I was somehow a bad person, not worthy of love or any kind of meaningful connection with anyone. 

Despite feeling this way several months into this relationship he kept chipping away at it. He kept telling me, and more importantly, showing me how much he cared, how he liked me just the way I was. It was all unprompted. No, "Do you think she's prettier than me?" drama or bullsh!t or fishing for compliments. Just out of the blue kind of stuff. He made me believe it. 

And so I fell. 

[Deleted User]

I knew I loved FI about 2-3 weeks after we started dating.  We were going to dinner at my parent's house and he was meeting my mom for the 1st time (he actually met my dad on our 1st date).  My mom called me before we left for their house to let me know she'd lost her job that day, but still wanted to have dinner.  I let him know so he'd be aware that she wasn't at her best.  He spent the whole evening making my mom laugh and getting her mind off of it and then he gave her a huge hug and a kiss on her cheek before we left.

Like others have said, lots of little things that made me realize I would be with him forever, but a couple things made me know for sure.  The 1st - I passed out at work (I was a little dehydrated and my blood sugar and blood pressure were low) and they ended up taking me to the ER by ambulance.  It happened to be his day off and he was spending the day taking care of things around his apartment and we hadn't planned to see each other that day.  He dropped everything and got to the hospital just after the ambulance did - didn't leave my side and stayed with me at my house that night to make sure I was ok. 

The 2nd stand out time was Valentine's Day before he proposed. He gave me a necklace that belonged to his mom and was one she wore all the time.  She passed away about 8 years ago.  I knew he wanted me in his life forever at that point and knew he would propose when he was ready, but I knew he wasn't going anywhere and I didn't want him to go anywhere.

This is cool this post started today - FI and I aren't exchanging wedding presents, but instead we're exchanging notes to each other the night before the wedding that we'll read, alone, just before we go to bed that night (I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it the morning of the wedding) and I just wrote my note to FI yesterday...now I need to go get another tissue.

Elle1036

I don't really believe in "the one."  But it was only about 4-ish months into our relationship when I knew that he wasn't going anywhere soon, not if I could help it.

I was going through a rough spot then.  Nothing major:  basically, it was my senior year in college, I had decided to turn down med school, and I was having a minor identity crisis and dealing with disappointed parents, etc.  He was there for me, completely supportive and free of judgment, the whole time.

tmacwin

I thought of another time, even though it was right after Christmas.  Earlier in our relationship, in one of BF's firsst conversations with my dad, he was talking baseball with my dad (who was a pretty good player in hs).  BF had asked my dad who his favorite pitcher was just making conversation.  Well 4 months later for Dad's bday in January, BF had gotten my dad an autographed baseball of the player my dad mentioned.  So even though this moment had nothing to do with me, the thoughtfulness of his gift just made me realize how sweet he is!

tuarceatha

 I should've known when we got 95% compatibilty on Sparkmatch.com back in high school.
Or maybe I should have known when I decided to move back home, and after 5 years of not talking, he IMed me and we just kinda picked up our friendship right where we left it.
But I definitely see where it became apparent, when that friendship grew and grew and I decided I just had to have 10,000 of his babies. (0 so far, but there is still time...)




 

[Deleted User]

I love hearing everyone's stories. They are all so sweet!

Jordyana

I've been with my FI for five years and I'm 21 now, meaning that I was a few months from turning 16 when we started dating. During high school, I knew that there was something special about him and that I wanted to be with him forever, but I wasn't 100% if he WAS "the one" for me or not.

During my second semester of senior year, I finally came out about the sexual abuse I endured as a kid. Due to the stress of finally admitting to myself and others about what had happened, I suffered some pretty bad Post Traumatic Stress and was unable to physically attend school (I would get panic attacks if I tried.) I stayed home and my school gave me a "tutor" to finish high school - really, I just had someone come to my house once a week to give me the work and expect me to figure it out on my own.

Here's what got me: My FI came to my house EVERY DAY after school to see me. Sometimes he would be there for emotional support, just sit there watching TV with me or talking with me. Other days, he would come over and help me figure out my school work. I'm honestly not sure if I could have made it through that without him.

I think that was the defining moment that made me realize that he was in it for the long haul - and so was I. It's not very often that you have an 18-year-old boy who would rather spend time with his "crazy" GF than party/hang out with friends/whatever 18 year old boys do.

He has admitted that at that time, he also knew he wanted to marry me.

kibo8

I knew before we even started dating, but it didn't occur to me until about a year later. We had been.. interested in each other to say the least for a while. We work together and I think I had a secret crush on him for two years before we really even started talking. After a lot of back and forth flirting, texting, making plans, canceling plans because I was too nervous, and hanging out in a group setting I finally decided to inquire why he even wanted to see me. His response was "you know that I like you" which seems so simple, but hearing that has never ever made me feel like that before. And a lot of people have told me that. About a year into our relationship we were having some issues and something reminded me of that night, and the gush of emotion I felt. And the emotions I still felt knowing that. And I just knew that I'd never feel that strongly for anyone else. And of course, I now know he loves me, and I love him too, but I think finally actually KNOWING his feelings for me for the first time, without any nervousness, or insinuating, or anything was better than anything else.

alanna91

Jeez, I thought he was "the one" at thirteen when I saw his picture. I thought he was "the one" we first started dating. I was fifteen and naive. He was my first boyfriend.
I know he's the one now.
So much has changed since then, we've grown up together and started planning out our lives together.
I think us dating during such a critical point in our development (planning careers, education, starting to realize what we want in life...) made us want such similar things. We're connected in that sense.
We're both so much different than we were when we started dating. We loved eachother then, but it's different now. Stronger. More sure. It's almost like I fell in love with him all over again. He's what I want and need in live, and I've realized that over the past year. I guess that's it!

loves2shop4shoes

There were a lot of little moments, not one particular moment.

One of the bigger moments was a few months into our relationship.  I had gone home to my mother's for Christmas break from school.  My mom and I got into a HUGE fight on the night of Christmas.  The fight carried through to the next day, despite my repeated attempts to end the conflict.  The next morning, while continuing to fight with me, my mom said a lot of really, really not ok things.  I knew then that I needed to go back to Boston.

So I paid $100 for a taxi to take me back to a train station that would take me to Boston.  FI met me at the train station and gave me a big bear hug.  He didn't force me to talk about it.  He and his family spent the next few days keeping me busy and trying to cheer me up.

That was one big instance.  Then the other came a while later, when I realized that FI was the only person in my entire life who never abandoned or disappointed me. 

GreenPepperBurger

I agree with a lot of the posters - there are a bunch of little moments, not one big one.

We've been together since I was 16, and sometimes I question if I'm really sure he's "The One." I don't have much to compare him to, but everytime I think of being with somebody else, I seriously doubt if they would be able to love me, care for me, and treat me the way BF does. We also have very similar values and senses of humor - I doubt anyone can match that the way BF does!

luvdncn90

It wasn't just one thing but a lot of things. He's stood by my side through so many things and so many personal problems I've struggled with, like depression and alcoholism.

He's had so many chances to leave but he's stood beside me and held my hand and encouraged me and helped me get through them and past them. He's never once told me I can't do anything. He has told me to go after my dreams and to make them happen. It sounds super cliche, but he's honestly made me such a better person.


Plus, he's SUPPERRRR hot

[Deleted User]

I love all of your stories!!!

Oceana, mine is somewhat similar to yours, and I am actually in the process of figuring out if I have endometriosis as well.  I have symptoms and it runs in the family

A month after BF and I started dating, I developed a serious chronic tonsil infection. I had to miss a lot of school and was very boring to him (I'm sure) since I had to stay in bed a lot.  We did not know each other that long but he took care of me every day I was sick.  He would stay awake while I slept because my throat was so swollen that I would stop breathing for scary lengths of time, he would always wake me up on the verge of tears because he thought I was dying.  I would be all sick and delirious, and cry while hugging/thanking him. 

I finally got my tonsils out 5 months later in my hometown (3 hours away from BF) and he wasn't able to stay with me.  EVERYTHING went wrong with my recovery (including blood pouring out of my head for 30 min. before my mom dragged me to the ER).  I was really sick one day and finally able to get to sleep.  I woke up to BF with a bouquet of flowers.  I said "you aren't supposed to be here", knowing that he needed to be at work.  He just said "I love you".

I asked him a few months after that if he was just staring at me until I woke up.  He told me that he kissed me while I was sleeping and I woke up.  I burst into tears, and since then I can't tell that story without crying.  THAT was the moment that I knew I would be with him forever.

TL;DR  I was suffering from a bad tonsilectomy recovery, managed to fall asleep, and was woken up by my true love's kiss!