my boyfriend mentioned marraiged!

arika94

We've been dating for two years, but have known each other for four. He is the most amazing guy in the world but when he brought up marriage it scared me. However, he kept talking about how incredible it would and he wants to start a family and all this other stuff and now it's got me OBSESSED with getting married to him! I've already looked at dresses, colors, flowers, EVERYTHING! And now he won't mention it at all! I didn't lead on that I really, really want to get married but this is now all I can think about and he isn't doing anything! He hasn't brought it up in about two months and I'm going crazy waiting for him to actually propose. I thought he was going to do it on our 2 year anniversary (January 8th) but he didn't. How can I mention that I'm okay with and really want to get married to him and all this? Whenever he did mention it I never acted like it scared me I just didn't say anything really about it, was this a huge mistake on my part?! And why am I SO OBSSESSED? I was never the little girl who planned a wedding until now or even thought of it

bethsmiles

Do you know when my BF first talking about marriage? Over 2 YEARS ago. I'm still waiting for him to propose. So my first advice to you is to SLOW DOWN. Take a breath and step away from dresses, colors, and flowers. Worry about all of that when you are actually engaged (after all that is what the engagement period is for).

It's great that your BF mentioned marriage. But it sounds like you are focusing on a wedding. The wedding is one day. The marriage is supposed to last a lifetime. My advice to you is to sit down with your BF and discuss your goals in life, where you see this relationship going, what you both want a 1, 5, and 10 years from now. Be honest with him - tell him you are ecstatic at the thought of marrying him and you want him to know that. He may propose tomorrow, he may propose a year from now. Either way what is most important is focusing on where your relationship is at right now and enjoying that time. You are never going to get this time back so don't rush towards the future. Things will happen when they are supposed to.

ravenray

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_boyfriend-mentioned-marraiged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6c304589-22f1-4cb2-9f0c-61ddbbcdf50dPost:910df43e-2316-4dd1-8604-99b80708778e">my boyfriend mentioned marraiged!</a>:
[QUOTE]We've been dating for two years, but have known each other for four. He is the most amazing guy in the world but when he brought up marriage it scared me. However, he kept talking about how incredible it would and he wants to start a family and all this other stuff and now it's got me OBSESSED with getting married to him! I've already looked at dresses, colors, flowers, EVERYTHING! And now he won't mention it at all! I didn't lead on that I really, really want to get married but this is now all I can think about and he isn't doing anything! He hasn't brought it up in about two months and I'm going crazy waiting for him to actually propose. I thought he was going to do it on our 2 year anniversary (January 8th) but he didn't. How can I mention that I'm okay with and really want to get married to him and all this? Whenever he did mention it I never acted like it scared me I just didn't say anything really about it, was this a huge mistake on my part?! And why am I SO OBSSESSED? I was never the little girl who planned a wedding until now or even thought of it
Posted by arika94[/QUOTE]
Are you for real?  0.o  You are crazy.  And listen to Beth. 

Elle1036

Oh dear.

kellyt89

If you are for real, sloooooowwww doooowwwwwnnnn. It's fun to look at wedding stuff but you're going to drive yourself nuts if you do this - BF and I have been talking about marriage/future more and more seriously since about 6 months in and it probably won't be another 2 years until we actually get engaged.

As an added note, though, my B-day is January 8th, so that's cool it's your anniversary.

Simply Fated

I'm going crazy waiting for him to actually propose.

Yes, yes you are.

Just because he mentioned wanting to marry you doesn't mean he is actually in the process of planning to ask you at thie very moment. You should be talking about marriage because you want to make sure you are both heading in the same direction.

If he mentions that he likes ice cream, does that mean he has secret plans to take you to Baskin Robbins? Of course not. Well, maybe he does, but don't get your hopes up. Am I making sense?

prbright

You may possibly be the conductor of the crazy train! Don't mind to much if we don't hop aboard.

bsidebella

...... HOW can I REACH these KIIIIIDS?

jaycee7389

I sincerely hope the 94 in your SN isn't 1994.

I do think you're being kind of nuts, but slow down and realize that looking at all that stuff and starting to obsess is not healthy.

Blue & White

Yea, I'm thinking OP is 18.  And can't spell marriage yet, so she should stay in school before getting married.

Oh, and she's only 18 if she was born before January 18th, so that's a stretch.

Lil B Mama

Hi

I just want to reiterate that talking about marriage doesn't necessarily mean its going to happen soon....or even at all. It's good to discuss this stuff, but obsessing over a wedding is more likely to hurt the relationship than speed up a proposal. So just relax about it, and maybe start another conversation to put your mind at ease. 

9 out of 10 NEY regs will just call you crazy and make jokes at your expense for  a first post like this. Start slow, we dont know you so shiit like this comes off as crazy/desperate. Appropriate topics include: work, school, pets, food, basically anything but your obsessive wedding fever. Don't be discouraged cause this is a great board, it's just not for everyone.

wink0erin

Wedding and Marriage are two different things. You seem obsessed with the WEDDING. That's one day, marriage is a lifetime (or should be). yeah it's fun to look at pretty things but that's not even half as important as talking about the future and making sure you're on the same page with the important things or can at least come to a compromise (like on religion). BF mentioned marriage to me over a year ago. This time last year he said that a ring could be coming by the end of the year. That never happened. The topic has come up a few times over the past year and we now live together. It might happen this year, it might not. I have other things to occupy my time!

beanbot2002

Bless her little heart.

NurseyK

Go away please.

polkadot111

Getting marraiged sounds scary. It sounds like some painful odd test done in a doctor's office.

HULU

Girls who start obsessing over weddings/marriage at the first mention of either word usually find themselves on the wrong end of a break-up. A lot of girls see marriage as a fairy tale. Guys do not. It's expensive, it's awkward, and it's time consuming.

And just a word of advice, most of the ladies on here who ARE engaged waited a loooong time for that bling. Some of them have already picked out their rings.... over a year ago, and are still waiting. Just something for you to chew on along with that slow roll.

Grits8812

He mentioned it.  

Does it mean it will happen?  Maybe eventually.

People spend a lot of time saying things they might like to do.  I've mentioned getting our own ranch and he has mentioned how he wants to be a rodeo stock contractor.

Will it happen?  Maybe eventually when we can afford it and it's the right time.

You said yourself, it scared you at first when he said it, and now you are obsessed.  You are obsessed with what you think he wants.  Not what you want.

DetArt00

HULU your roll picture is making me hungry.

OP, you cray cray.

klkaigev

Yikes. Really, you should calm down and just let things unfold naturally. I didn't even know this site existed until BF and I had lengthy and serious talks about marriage, time table, and our future, last year.

Even so..he was going to propose on our anniversary, and then a vehicle catastrophe emptied his savings on the ring. If I was spending all my time dwelling on being engaged and married I'd have lost my mind by now.

A wedding is just a big expensive party. If you truly want to be married to him, and make a life long commitment, then what are you anxious about? You have the rest of your lives to spend together. What's the rush.

dwest2201

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_boyfriend-mentioned-marraiged?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:6c304589-22f1-4cb2-9f0c-61ddbbcdf50dPost:e17c806c-91ef-4209-a2d1-a28d82a175c2">Re: my boyfriend mentioned marraiged!</a>:
[QUOTE]HULU your roll picture is making me hungry. OP, you cray cray.
Posted by DetArt00[/QUOTE]

That pic makes me want to go to Texas Roadhouse or O'Charley's right now! 

OP, As PP's mentioned a wedding is one day, and sure you may want this, that and whatever, that's all fine and dandy, WHEN THE TIME COMES (i.e. engagement).  Until you are engaged you do not need to be worrying about these things, let alone obbsessing.  

Your time dating yoru BF should be spend doing just that, dating!  Enjoy everyday for what it is, live in the moment.  Before and even after you are engaged focusing on how your marriage will be is healthy, obsessing over wedding details is never healthy.  What are your and your BF's plans for life, careers, family, how do you expect to work together as a team and to resolve real-life issues that come up?  These are way more important than any dress, cake, whatever.