Vows

[Deleted User]

For you girls getting married, or already married, or even just thinking about it - are you planning on going with traditional vows or something more customized?  Part of me likes the thought of going with the traditional "Do you take this man/woman" vows but I also liked these that I found...

I, (Bride's Name), take (you/thee), (Groom's Name), to be my [opt: lawfully wedded] husband, secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love.
On this special [opt: and holy] day, I (affirm/reaffirm/give) to you in the presence of God and (all those in attendance/these witnesses) my (pledge/sacred promise) to stay by your side as your [opt: faithful] wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad.

I (promise/further promise) to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve (higher/all of your) goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

calindi

I think that's beautiful!

My boyfriend and I obviously haven't written vows, but we have said that we'd want to write something together that we both will pledge to each other.  That way, it's the same vows but unique.  It'll probably be something along these lines, but with no mention of "God".

loves2shop4shoes

I actually love the traditional vows.  I would only change "until death do us part" to "for as long as we both shall live".  

I really don't like vows that are more like love letters.  There has to be a promise, hence "vow".  If you're on the alter saying something like "I loved you from the moment I first met you, you're my best friend, blah blah blah", those are STATEMENTS, not promises.  I like yours above though because they are PROMISES.

[Deleted User]

I know exactly what you mean shop. 

heyimbren

I actually haven't thought about this at all. I think I'd probably  just do traditional vows, but I would consider an idea like Cate sort of suggested with sitting down together. But then, I probably wouldn't rewrite them all, just do some tweaking.

And I agree loves2shop. The two are very different things.

Beads921

Yep, I agree with l2s4s about the statement vs. promises thing. So many couples who write their own 'vows' just end up rambling on about how much they love their partner. That's not a promise, it's a ramble. I like what you have up there, Jeter. It's nice, less 'old fashioned' sounding, but still actual vows/promises.

tafft1

Ours were a mixture of traditional and a poem I found online as a reading :

"I, CHRIS, TAKE YOU ROSE TO BE MY WIFE, TO HAVE AND TO
HOLD, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER, ORFOR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, I PROMISE TO LOVE AND CHERISH YOU AND TO PROTECT AND GUIDE YOU IN LIFE'S JOURNEY.

ROSE WILL YOU PLEASE REPEAT THIS VOW TO CHRIS SAYING AFTER ME:
I, ROSE, TAKE YOU CHRIS TO BE MY HUSBAND, TO HAVE AND TO
HOLD, FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, FOR RICHER OR FOR POORER, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, I PROMISE TO LOVE AND CHERISH YOU AND TO HONOR YOU FOR ALL OF OUR DAYS.

CHRIS AND ROSE HAVE ALSO WRITTEN THEIR OWN VOWS OF PROMISE TO EACH OTHER THEY WOULD LIKE TO SHARE NOW.

CHRIS :I promise to be there for all your goals, big and small.  To nourish you and love you till the end of time.  You are the reason I get up in the morning, and the reason I go to bed at night.  Together there is no challenge or obstacle to great that we can not face together.

ROSE :I promise to support your dreams and stand by you no matter how dark the night or bright the sky above. You bring peace and joy to my heart for without you I am nothing but with You I become your everything. You are my strength , my life , my world and reason for living.Your smile brightens my days , your laughter brings me peace and joy. Not only today , but everyday I wake up thankful to have been blessed with your presence. I cherish who you are and who you may become to I pledge my heart , my love , my soul to you and with this promise I will be yours always."


Poem :
Love is never easy, but
It turns life into song.
There is no bit of circumstance
That love cannot transform.

There is no weary moment
Of anger or despair
That love cannot convert to grace
And render whole and fair.

How passionate the paradise
That comes from knowing well
That someone in your happiness
Finds pleasure for himself.
How sweet the gift of giving to
Someone who gives to you,
A selflessness that gives to self
More self than self is due.

With all the searing madness of
The world from day to day,
And all the dreary sadness that
No joy can take away.

There is one truth more beautiful
Than anyone can bear:
That two can trust that when they turn
They'll find the other there.

Just be true to yourselfves and find what you both feel and love in one another

leia1979

That's lovely, Tafft!  We haven't yet discussed what we want to do. Honestly, I think I'm fine with traditional, or maybe a mixture like that. I'm not sure how FI feels about it. He's a little bit more romantic than I am. 

[Deleted User]

Awwww tafft *tear*

jemmini6

Jess- I love those vows (I might steal them).  FI and I have discussed what we wanted to do and we both agree that we want to use somewhat traditional vows (ie, promising the normal stuff).  It's also important to me that we have the same vows because then we are promising each other the same thing. 

My sister and her husband wrote their own...hers were long and just a love letter basically and his were short and didn't 'vow' anything.  I take that part of the cermony very seriously...that's why I want to get married so that we can vow our lives to each other, not just to have a big party in a pretty dress....To me, without any actual "vows" you aren't really getting married...

tafft1

Thanks Leia and Jeter for the kind words - We had alot of happy tears from us and our guests from the vows - mostly because it was truly "us". Just be true to what you feel within , it will come to you

breezerb

Jeter - Those are beautiful vows, kind of a tweeked version of more traditional ones.  I have officially copy and pasted them onto my hard drive for a later date.  Yeah, that's right, I'm a rebel NEYer.

Tafft - I love your vows - so special and meaningful to you both

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:6f0bd50a-4444-43e7-b2c2-6db2616759bcPost:f0023184-b583-416c-abe6-1a6774ad2bb8">Re: Vows</a>:
[QUOTE]Jeter - Those are beautiful vows, kind of a tweeked version of more traditional ones.<strong>  I have officially copy and pasted them onto my hard drive for a later date.  Yeah, that's right, I'm a rebel NEYer</strong>. Tafft - I love your vows - so special and meaningful to you both :)
Posted by breezerb[/QUOTE]

Are they in your top secret pre-engagement wedding planning Word document, Breezer???

P.s. I really love reading peoples' vows... so sweet!

zipis1

I haven't really looked into it, but I do think that I will try to edit any mention of God out of them. I say try because my grandpa will be marrying us and he's the minister of his church, so it may noe be worth the headache. But if he's cool with it, BF, his family and most of mine are all atheists, and I'm agnostic at best so it just doesn't seem like something we should really have in there.

I also agree with the whole statement vs. vow things. My friend did the rambling thing with her husband, and while there were a few promises in there, most of it was just listing off their relationship quirks. They both mentioned him slapping her butt

[Deleted User]

We're definitely in agreement that we want to go the traditional route with vows.  Someone at church gave me a book of vows to look over - I got hoarse reading it aloud to FI on the way up to Zion a couple weeks ago.  We enjoyed reading them, but felt they were more guidelines for people wanting to write their own vows.

Friends of mine got married in February of this year and they didn't like the idea of writing their own vows, but they didn't want to totally go the traditional route, so they searched the internet for vows used by others.  They came across the vows used by Paul Newman and Joann Woodward and it seemed just perfect for them.

PaigeMcC

Jeter those are lovely.

But Tafft just made me tear up *sniff*

tafft1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_vows?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:6f0bd50a-4444-43e7-b2c2-6db2616759bcPost:66f93bee-5db6-4634-b378-4c698d2e485d">Re: Vows</a>:
[QUOTE]Jeter those are lovely. But Tafft just made me tear up *sniff*
Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

I love yours Jeter too :) And Paige you are gonna make me cry all over again lol :P