Alternatives to tossing flowers/Hints for keeping kids in a good mood.

seesawgirl

My flower girl, I'm afraid, is not understanding the concept of tossing flowers up in the air. She is rather...difficult, and has the tendency to bolt if she's in a bad mood. (I was unaware of this when I asked her mother if she could be the flower girl.)

I've thought about her having a pinwheel to hold while she walks down....but I'm afraid of the wind blowing and it maybe poking her or something. Is that something that could happen, or am I just being paranoid? I've thought about her just holding a single big flower, or a big lollipop...any ideas? Her mother thought that maybe she could pass out single stems, or little personalized dum dums to the people on the outside of the aisle, but I don't know how we'd explain to a 4 year old that she needs to just share with the person on the outside of the aisle. 

I'm not worried about the formality of it, at all, its an outside wedding, and is very laid back. We just want her to get down the aisle without a melt down...and we're not sure how to do it. 

musicxstore

Is there someone who can hold her hand and walk her down the aisle? Our ring bear will be 5 at the time of the wedding and he is very active - I'm sure he'll want to zoom down the aisle (he has two speeds, which are fast and faster) and wear his Spiderman costume, haha. His older sister (who will be 8) is going to be a flower girl and hold his hand to rein him in (and I think I'm going to let him wear his Spiderman costume under his suit, lol).

Maybe that's an option?

musicxstore

Ring Bearer. Sorry, it's getting late and I've been up since 6AM.

kmmssg

I think it would take a 4 yo forever to get down the aisle if she has to pass out dumdum suckers.  I think the idea is really cute but if he has to hit both sides of the aisle it will take her awhile.

Give her some big girl flowers and skip the expectation that she drop or pass out anything.  If she doesn't want to go down the aisle when it is showtime, let it go.  Make sure someone is back wth the bridal party to take her to a seat if necessary.  She could also walk with a BM or your MOH if she is scared to do that by herself.

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_alternatives-to-tossing-flowershints-for-keeping-kids-in-a-good-mood?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:d420a006-a224-47a5-af73-1e6a320ae44aPost:5cf009db-54d7-484f-b012-86c8aed03b9e">Re: Alternatives to tossing flowers/Hints for keeping kids in a good mood.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it would take a 4 yo forever to get down the aisle if she has to pass out dumdum suckers.  I think the idea is really cute but if he has to hit both sides of the aisle it will take her awhile. Give her some big girl flowers and skip the expectation that she drop or pass out anything.  If she doesn't want to go down the aisle when it is showtime, let it go.  Make sure someone is back wth the bridal party to take her to a seat if necessary.  She could also walk with a BM or your MOH if she is scared to do that by herself.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<div>Agreed. Kids may not cooperate, and you have to be okay with that if you want to have them in the wedding. I fully expected my ringbearer to refuse to go down the aisle (he's 6, but was acting very shy when we explained his role) but he ended up doing a great job, even though he broke his leg two weeks before the wedding and rolled down the aisle in a wheelchair.</div>

Magdala9

Explain the bridal procession in 4 year old terms.  

We are playing  a big special game of follow the leader.  Your job is to follow "Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle S" down to the front of the aisle and then sit down with Mommy and Daddy.  Your sister will be following you and sitting down next to you.   People will be taking your picture so you want to smile on your way down.  It is going to be fun. 

This is how we explained  the bridal procession to my 5 year old niece.  We had the flower girls sit with their parents during the ceremony.   She actually did follow my inlaws (her grandparents) and my DH down the aisle. 

I didn't have the flower girls throwing petals because I was worried about slipping and falling on the petals (I had seen this happen at a couple of other weddings).  The girls carried miniature bouquets instead. 

MairePoppy

Young children are unpredictable. It's part of their charm. Your flowers girl's most important function is being cute.

Seat mommy near the front and tell her to walk to her mother. Have daddy seated about half way down the aisle in case she needs encouragement. Or have a bm hold her hand and walk her down. Be prepared that the little girl might decide not to walk, at all, and will sit with her parents.But you can still have her in pictures.

The pinwheel or lollipop would be cute and safe with so many adults around to intervene if she tries to poke her eye out ; ) A four year old would probably get a kick out of a small purse with a compact mirror, chapstick or some little toys or non-messy snacks inside. I've seen pictures of flower girls and ring bearers carrying dressed up teddy bears, too.

p.s. I googled teddy bears. This one is adorable. You could add a bow in your wedding colors
http://www.amazon.com/Gund-319926-Philbin-Bear-Beige-13/dp/B003S7AY8U/ref=pd_sim_t_1

April1Dawn

We are using rose petals for our aisle runner so my flower girl is carrying a flower ball an dwalking with her 5 year old brother down the aisle.  the flower ball was only 15 dollars and she has her own "special" bouquet that way. My fiance is bribing them to be good with a day trip to the zoo

sherrycox

For me I have 3 flower girls.....my daughter and 2 nieces and 1 ring bearer, my FI nephew.  My daughter is very excited for my wedding, so I don't think there will be any problems there, however she can be quite stubborn and if she digs her heels in well that will be that.....lol.  My 1 niece is very grown up, so absolutely no worries there and her younger sister well she might just not cooperate.....lol. My FI nephew I just don't know about him, however I realize kids are unpredictable and almost whatever they do is cute.  So I am game for anything.....lol.  I too am not doing the tossing of the flower petals.  All my bouquets are fake flowers so that my bridal party can keep them.  I do like the idea of having the flower girls sitting with their parents at the wedding after they walk down the ailse.  Although we aren't planning on a long ceremony it might still be too long for them to stand.

saric83

I have no idea if this would keep that particular four-year old engaged, but I was at a wedding where the flower girl rang a bell down the aisle as an announcement of the bride coming, and it was SO cute!  She loved it and was so happy to have a little job to do, but even if she wouldn't have rang it, it would have been totally fine.  Maybe have her mom at the end of the aisle, so she can see her and head straight towards her while ringing the bell.

Beverly8

We had our FG carry a bouquet down the aisle.  We got rid of the flower toss all together.

If there is someone that could walk down the aisle with her you could do that, or just try to explain what she needs to do in terms that she could understand.  

fritz1215

We're having our 3 year old flower girl walk down the aisle to give my FI a hug. I figure if she drops petals along the way, it will be a bonus!
A friend had her FG wave a wand that had ribbons on the end of it. I haven't decided yet if I will use this idea myself.

kstorberg

I was going to suggest the wands with ribbons too.  I have seen a lot of weddings do that as the bride and groom are leaving (instead of birdseed) and thought it looked pretty cute.  Plus if you describe it as a "princess wand" or something similar she would be super excited!

osh99

I really wanted to rose petals, so I have back up plans if my FG won't throw the petals. My RB, her older brother, has offered to pick up the slack too!  But, I never though of the alternative for her to hold or carry.  Maybe I'll have someone holding the princess wand at the front of the church for her to get when she gets down the aisle.  She can wave it on the way out since she won't have a basket of flowers anymore anyway! Thanks for that idea!

tatersparkle

My daughter will be almost two and my two ring bearers will be three and five...I am just going to have them all walk down the aisle together, holding hands...if possible. I think them going as a little "flock" lol will help them...but honestly, with the little kids, it doesn't matter what they do...all dressed up and looking cute...they will be adorable. If necessary, have someone in the wings that can help or take her to her seat. We are having sunflowers as the main flower so I am just going to have her possibly carry a single sunflower...if she's going to carry anything at all...

mfurtado12780

I have a similar question. I cant toss flowers at church (church rules ) and my 3 FG will all be around 2 years old so I was thinking of still giving them a basket with a bouque glued down just in case they get wild with it. 

Lcam510

Im putting M&M's in the bottom of the flower girl basket and telling her that if she throws all of the petals she'll have a treat in the bottom of the basket. A couple of my friends have doen this and apparently it's worked perfectly!

leah2489

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_alternatives-to-tossing-flowershints-for-keeping-kids-in-a-good-mood?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:d420a006-a224-47a5-af73-1e6a320ae44aPost:83761827-acba-445f-a87d-8c0952b26770">Re: Alternatives to tossing flowers/Hints for keeping kids in a good mood.</a>:
[QUOTE]Im putting M&M's in the bottom of the flower girl basket and telling her that if she throws all of the petals she'll have a treat in the bottom of the basket. A couple of my friends have doen this and apparently it's worked perfectly!
Posted by Lcam510[/QUOTE]

Love this idea!!

JennluvsPaul

This reminded me of the episode of Full House where Jesse and Rebecca get married. Michelle was the flower girl, but she wanted to keep all the petals for herself. Her solution: throw one petal, pick it up, throw it again. Anyone else remember this?

I'm going to ask this, not because I'm trying to be mean, but just realistic. Does this child WANT to the FG? I don't mean do you think she might refuse to do it at the last second, but rather, does this child care at all? and do you really need a FG?

Just throwing it out there, don't hurt me please.

P.S. Your best bet is to ask her mother to walk with her. Problem solved.

Allison03

We are having our flower girl hold a pomander.  

lilyogini

In my sister's wedding last year, My step-daughter-to-be was one of the 2 flower girls (she's also going to be the flower girl in our wedding as well), and because the wedding was in a church where using flower petals was not allowed, she got to carry a small basket of flowers. You could use real flowers or fake ones, and arrange/stick them in with styrofoam like stuff, or something. It worked really well. She had just turned 5 before the wedding last year, and it was great. She's quite outgoing, and walked down the isle waving and smiling carrying her basket.

buscemijojo23

what about maybe her blowing bubbles instead, it would be an easy change from flowers but yet fun and exciting for her cause she get to blow bubbles while walking down the isle. all kids love bubbles